Guest guest Posted April 8, 2004 Report Share Posted April 8, 2004 I'm new to this chat room, and chat rooms altogether. I don't understand how this works. My mother-in-law (I love her dearly, probably more than my husband) came to live with us (at my insistence at the beginning of November 2003, I would have preferred spring of 2003, before she got so sick, however I am the 24/7 caregiver and am losing my patience with my husband and his brother (who thinks he is such a good caregiver because he transported her to radiation appts during the summer of 2002 and he worked as a " babysitter " at a local upscale nursing home for 8 hours a day (2nd shift) for 5 weeks and knows everything. My husband and his brother have a volatile relationship and I turned down POA because I did not want to fight with them. However, I took care of my mother-in-law and assisted her in many aspects of her life that they were not aware of she could not do her own since the time of her husband's death in the spring of 2001. Her and I are very close, others also know that if it were not for me she would be in a NH or have passed already. For the record, My experience is that I worked as a medical secretary during the 1980s (when everyone did hands-on care) and have stayed focused on medical aspects of society). Also, my mother (another medical person) and I brought my grandmother (her mother) into our home and cared for her as a cancer inflicted hospice patient until her death. I also have a grandmother of 89 who suffered a stroke on 9/10/2001 and has stroke induced dementia yet is being cared for 24/7 by my 67 yo father with health problems himself. I am VERY WELL INFORMED of the trials and tribulations of caring for the ill and mentally impaired. I also have a 41 yo brother with Downs Syndrome who when I was 5 yo was told that " God gave him to us because he knew we would take care of him " . Have been doing so all my life, I'm 46. HELP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2004 Report Share Posted April 8, 2004 " kbellomyrees " So sorry I didn't get your name...welcome to the caregivers group. You have explained your story very well. I see you have asked for help. This is the place to be. Have you noticed your MIL's (mother-in-law) symptoms fluctuating? Are there times of the day when she struggles more than other times? Is she taking any medications? Please sign with a name, I feel a bit odd not being able to address you properly. My dad passed away from LBD in Sept. 2002. I have chosen to stay here, actually rejoined recently, in hopes of helping others through their journey. Will wait for your reply. This is a support group, not a chatroom. You will notice that when you reply, you will receive your reply back as all emails go to all members of the group. Easy to remedy, just delete your own email. Please ask any questions. Regards- Sandie Des Moines, IA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2004 Report Share Posted April 8, 2004 Hi and Welcome to the group. Sorry to hear that you have to justify your caring for your MIL but happy to read that you have a great relationship with her. Sounds like you've had your share of caregiving as well - perhaps a point your BIL is missing. Courage I'm new but experienced >I'm new to this chat room, and chat rooms altogether. I don't >understand how this works. My mother-in-law (I love her dearly, >probably more than my husband) came to live with us (at my insistence >at the beginning of November 2003, I would have preferred spring of >2003, before she got so sick, however I am the 24/7 caregiver and am >losing my patience with my husband and his brother (who thinks he is >such a good caregiver because he transported her to radiation appts >during the summer of 2002 and he worked as a " babysitter " at a local >upscale nursing home for 8 hours a day (2nd shift) for 5 weeks and >knows everything. My husband and his brother have a volatile >relationship and I turned down POA because I did not want to fight >with them. However, I took care of my mother-in-law and assisted her >in many aspects of her life that they were not aware of she could not >do her own since the time of her husband's death in the spring of >2001. Her and I are very close, others also know that if it were not >for me she would be in a NH or have passed already. For the record, >My experience is that I worked as a medical secretary during the >1980s (when everyone did hands-on care) and have stayed focused on >medical aspects of society). Also, my mother (another medical >person) and I brought my grandmother (her mother) into our home and >cared for her as a cancer inflicted hospice patient until her death. >I also have a grandmother of 89 who suffered a stroke on 9/10/2001 >and has stroke induced dementia yet is being cared for 24/7 by my 67 >yo father with health problems himself. I am VERY WELL INFORMED of >the trials and tribulations of caring for the ill and mentally >impaired. I also have a 41 yo brother with Downs Syndrome who when I >was 5 yo was told that " God gave him to us because he knew we would >take care of him " . Have been doing so all my life, I'm 46. HELP > > > > >Welcome to LBDcaregivers. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 2004 Report Share Posted April 9, 2004 Welcome!! I know how this seems to be a difficult process but in time you'll be posting and getting help and offering advice and wonder how you ever got along before this group. Welcome to the very kindest, most caring group on the web. I know you'll benefit and we will benefit from your knowledge and what sounds like loads of experience. Good for you for being the voice of reason amidst the malestrom that occurs between your husband and his brother. Your mil needs you to be there for her since her sons have their own issues to deal with. I'm very impressed by your evident love for your mil. She's very lucky to have you. I hope you come to see this group as amazing and integral to your caregiving as we all do. Abby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2004 Report Share Posted April 14, 2004 Welcome to the group. I am 43 and am caring for my 79 year old mother who was diagnosed with LBD in October 2002, but I think she had it probably about a year before. She lives next door to me and just before being diagnosed she was moved to a retirement home for more care, but returned home with a private caregiver(s) since last May. My brother and sister live out of town and are not in the picture much. Mom has done well on Reminyl and that is the main reason she was able to come home. The tremors bother her a great deal but too much Sinemet causes the hallucinations to return full force so it is always a balancing act with meds. She thinks the meds make her sick and often doesn't want to take them. Hope you find support with this group. They have been a Godsend to me. Kath in Toronto P.S. If you would like to be added to the caregivers location list please email me at skward2@... with any information you would like to see. Check out the files section, and look at the list to see what others have included. I'm new but experienced > I'm new to this chat room, and chat rooms altogether. I don't > understand how this works. My mother-in-law (I love her dearly, > probably more than my husband) came to live with us (at my insistence > at the beginning of November 2003, I would have preferred spring of > 2003, before she got so sick, however I am the 24/7 caregiver and am > losing my patience with my husband and his brother (who thinks he is > such a good caregiver because he transported her to radiation appts > during the summer of 2002 and he worked as a " babysitter " at a local > upscale nursing home for 8 hours a day (2nd shift) for 5 weeks and > knows everything. My husband and his brother have a volatile > relationship and I turned down POA because I did not want to fight > with them. However, I took care of my mother-in-law and assisted her > in many aspects of her life that they were not aware of she could not > do her own since the time of her husband's death in the spring of > 2001. Her and I are very close, others also know that if it were not > for me she would be in a NH or have passed already. For the record, > My experience is that I worked as a medical secretary during the > 1980s (when everyone did hands-on care) and have stayed focused on > medical aspects of society). Also, my mother (another medical > person) and I brought my grandmother (her mother) into our home and > cared for her as a cancer inflicted hospice patient until her death. > I also have a grandmother of 89 who suffered a stroke on 9/10/2001 > and has stroke induced dementia yet is being cared for 24/7 by my 67 > yo father with health problems himself. I am VERY WELL INFORMED of > the trials and tribulations of caring for the ill and mentally > impaired. I also have a 41 yo brother with Downs Syndrome who when I > was 5 yo was told that " God gave him to us because he knew we would > take care of him " . Have been doing so all my life, I'm 46. HELP > > > > > Welcome to LBDcaregivers. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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