Guest guest Posted December 20, 2003 Report Share Posted December 20, 2003 Hi Scout, I've read something related to reaction formation having a biological basis. It applies to the BP as well as her children, who have learned responses from her. These are related to the fight or flight response during stress. In 'Understanding The Borderline Mother', by Ann Lawson, brain functioning is effected by having a BD caregiver. This continues to effect us into adulthood. Early experiences...stress...shape the pattern of wiring and cause the number of synapses (the connections between nerve cells) in the brain to increase or decrease by as much as 25%. ... unconscious fear memories established through the amygdala appear to be indelibly burned into the brain .... To summarize, learned responses to the abuses we suffered are probably with us for life. But, we can learn to control our behaviors. Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2003 Report Share Posted December 20, 2003 > > It applies to the BP as well as her children, who have learned responses from > her. These are related to the fight or flight response during stress. What I don't understand though is the fact that this is not a mechanism my mother uses. How would I inherit this from her if it's not something she does? Trust me, she is very clear about what she thinks and wants and sees, and it does not matter who it harms. A lot of this started for me when she told me that nobody likes me because I " always have to be right " . So I guess I decided then and there that I could no longer " be right " . But it's not a mechanism she uses, otherwise I'd have known before now that it actually has a name. Maybe children of BPs use defense mechanisms because that is the only way to survive with a piece of yourself intact. For me it's a choice, one I make because I clearly do not know when it is OK for me to be ok with being " right " , and although I know when I am right and when I'm not, it comes down to not feeling that it's worth it to prove it to anyone else so long as I know it myself. It just seems to me with BP they actually convince themselves of things and have no idea of reality. That isn't the same as what I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2003 Report Share Posted December 21, 2003 > > I think now that the ADHD symptoms are the result, not the cause, of > the behavior and identity problems. The Ritalin has indeed helped my > self-esteem and self-confidence. I ran out of it, because it got > caught up in the Christmas mail rush. It is a useful experiment, to > see if I can hang onto the self-confidence that I learned I can have. > Since Ritalin has been somewhat effective, do you suggest that those of us given an ADHD diagnosis (even if we don't think it's an accurate diagnosis), see about being prescribed Ritalin? I guess I was thinking, if the symptoms are SIMILAR to ADHD, and if the medication for ADHD is at all effective, then perhaps it would not hurt to treat the symptoms regardless of agreement with the diagnosis. I hope that made sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2003 Report Share Posted December 21, 2003 > Since Ritalin has been somewhat effective, do you suggest > that those of us given an ADHD diagnosis (even if we don't > think it's an accurate diagnosis), see about being prescribed > Ritalin? I guess I was thinking, if the symptoms are SIMILAR > to ADHD, and if the medication for ADHD is at all effective, > then perhaps it would not hurt to treat the symptoms regardless > of agreement with the diagnosis. > > I hope that made sense. Yes, I am thinking along the same lines. After starting Ritalin I made more rapid and complete progress on having a feeling of self- worth than I ever did before. I am reducing the dose now, because my supply got interrupted (again), and so far the self-confidence is staying solid and I am not feeling any depression. This might really be a catalyst to get unstuck, and I have been stuck all my life. So, if you have a doctor brave enough to prescribe it to see what happens, go for it. Keep notes on the effects. Here in France there are no doctors that brave, because Ritalin is controlled the same as morphine, and there is no approved use for it in adults. I hope I don't get caught in possession of it. I am feeling no addictive urges and I am definitely controlling it, it is not controlling me. I don't consider it a dangerous drug for adults. - Dan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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