Re: Jan

[Guest guest]

Jan:

My you've been busy. Going to an orientation day and painting your

figurines. Good going!!!

The daycare sounds like it would be fun. It's funny how you said Jim

was right into it once the cute " chick " urged him on. That sounds so

much like my dad on his good days. Just last week my dad was looking

and feeling fine. A young, cute nurse commented on how handsome he

looked and my dad said, " Do you think I'd be able to land me a good

looking girl looking this good? " . Now, my dad was never a

romancer/sweet-talker but the LBD seems to have brought this side of

him out and it's kind of sweet. It has never been offensive to my

knowledge and I am ever mindful of that.

What a good choice you had insofar as an activity that would take Jim

away from the television. If it's sustained his interest for an hour

or more that's a very good thing indeed! In years to come, those

figurines will be great reminders of an activity you enjoyed together.

Thanks for the good wishes for Monday. I am nervous about it since

it's the first news we're having re: the tumor since December when

we first learned it had grown back. I don't anticipate they'll even

suggest they operate given my dad's weakened state but I'll let you

know as soon as we get back.

Have a nice Friday night.

Abby

[Guest guest]

Jan-

There is another 'Jan' in California as well. Her picture is in the photo's

section, well, like that helps at this point, of the website.

She and Jim both came from CA for the caregivers gathering. Isn't Jim a teddy

bear! A gentle soul, kind, intelligent, and so patient. It was an honor

meeting him. Also, our other Jan, a true sweetheart. She was a mother figure

to me, had some wonderful words of wisdom for me, and was truly an inspiration.

Her hugs were safe and comforting. Both Jan and Jim were the true definition of

'caregivers'. It showed in their actions. I have had the opportunity to talk

on the phone several times with Shirley. She is a sweetheart, so caring, and

such a hoot.

She is the first person to post me when I initially joined in January 2002.

Godincidentally, my mom's name was Shirley, and when our Shirley replied to my

first post, I knew I had found a safe, loving, place.

I am so happy you have been able to meet up with other caregivers. There is no

way to explain it. Awesome, and wonderful, those words don't even come close.

BTW, how is your 'online' driving test coming? Woops, hopefully thats not a

sore subject. Thinking of you tonight Jan.

Hugs from Iowa-

Sandie

[Guest guest]

Jan:

It's alway so nice to read a post from you - it's doubly nice when

that post is for me. Thanks for thinking of me and for caring.

My dad doesn't really seem to be hallucinating much lately but he is

incredibly disoriented and unaware of his environment particularly at

night. I visited at the nh the other night and he said " OK, let's go

back to my room. " He didn't realize he was in his room at the time

and when I told him he was he looked around in a surprised manner.

I sort of convinced my mom to take him home this weekend which is odd

considering I've been trying to get her to relax insofar as her

presumed responsibilities regarding my dad. He asked if he could see

my boys swim and I just thought " OK, I'll keep him for the day and

perhaps he'll have dinner with us and then...well, why not a night at

home? " We haven't told him yet. We're waiting to see what kind of a

day tomorrow is for my dad. I'll pick him up at the nh tomorrow

morning after breakfast, take him by his house to see his beloved

garden and pick up my mom and then bring him to my house before

swimming for lunch. I hope it goes well. If he's not up to it,

we'll bring him back to the nh at night. I'm really " playing it by

ear. "

My cousin isn't celebrating her divorce but everyone else in my

family is. She has 3 children under 8 and she works her buns off

while her husband is out and about every night doing something he

refuses to tell her about. They have been living separate lives for

over a year now. She's put her house up for sale and she's trying to

psyche herself up to believe a brand new start is what she needs. We

all know she'll be fine but I understand her inability to see this

now. It's always messier when kids are involved although he seems to

want as little to do with them as possible which makes her feel

worse. She can't believe he can walk away so easily.

Ah well, life is tough for all of us at times. I intend to be there

for her but she's having a hard time leaning on anyone. It was nice

going out tonight for me too. Since my dad got sick, I never do

a " girl's night " anymore.

Glad Jim is sticking with the day program even though it does mean

some added stress for you when he's resistant to go. I hope you have

finished your driving course and can enjoy the time when you're free

of your caregiving responsibilities.

Great to hear from you. I relish your posts.

Lots of hugs!

Abby