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Re: Gram @ NH

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Dear Wolfie:

You are human and you have limitations. I hope your Gran is feeling better

and will give you a few days of peace. Please let us know what is going on and

let it all out here. We are here to support you.

Your reaction is so normal, it takes a while to accept all these changes and

sadness. Give yourself time and try to take care of what you can. Let your

spiritual self take care of what you cannot do anything about, again give

yourself time. Your Gran will settle soon.

Hugs,

Josie

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Wolfie:

It's absolutley not awful. It's you being frustrated at how little

you can do and, I think, perfectly rational given the circumstances

you find yourself in.

The running away thing? Had that thought several times myself. (I

even had it once during my first born son's consistent crying - I

just wanted to run like the wind as far as I could and I'm not even a

runner or a very physical person!!!).

Cope in whatever way you can. Perhaps someone else can go today in

your place. You may be in a better place re: this tomorrow.

Abby <--- hoping and praying that tomorrow is a better day and that

some of your angst will be relieved..

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Wolfie,

Sorry to hear your Gram had a bad day and hope that she had many better ones

coming up.

I totally hear you about running away. I have moments like this too but I'm

in too deep now! :)

If I could suggest that you keep up your visits to your Gram just now while

she is adjusting and then back off some once she is settled in. I know its

hard but you'll be doing both you and your Gram a favor in the long run.

Courage

Gram @ NH

>If ya'll have kept up -- my Gram is now at the NH since Monday

>morning. I have gone over there to see her everyday, except

>yesterday. And guess what? All heck broke loose yesterday. :( I

>just wanted a chance to get my house clean -- but Bad Old Lewy saw an

>opportunity and took full advantage. The NH called -- Gram was

>running around (alright, not running, but you know what I mean)

>clutching the clothes from her closet and saying she was leaving.

>She was VERY upset and crying. I finally, after a million attempts,

>got her on the phone. She kept saying, " Well, it isn't doing a bit

>of good for me to sit here in the wagon. I am going to Mom & Dad's

>house. " It was awful. I know -- transition period. But this is

>killing me.

>

>On a positive note -- when I gave the head staff people there copies

>of the CCC papers, they sort of blew me off. Well, guess what? Now

>they are making copies for the entire staff so everyone will be

>aware. I am sure there is at least one other person there who has

>LBD, but is probably undiagnosed like Gram. That's my Gram, the

>trailblazer. :) I have to find the humor in all of this or I will

>wind up a quivering puddle of salt water.

>

>I want to runaway. Is that bad? I want to just go away and pretend

>that I never even heard of Lewy. I am putting off going over there

>today -- I am afraid of what I will find. I may not go -- is that

>awful?

>

>--Wolfie

>

>

>

>Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

>

>

>

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Hey Wolfie,

I completely understand how you feel!! Just yesterday my Mom said to

me that she didnt really like going to see my Dad and I replied " you

know, now I kinda understand why sometimes people practically

abandon their parents in a NH " . Its SO HARD to see them so

changed!!!! I have not gone to see my Dad since that " awful " day

earlier in the week, and its because I just simply DREAD it. And I

feel awful for it.

So, since misery loves company, your post touched me. I think we are

pretty much feeling the same, so at the very least, know that I

share your feelings. Fear...guilt...abandonment....its awful. Hope

you are managing ok.

Hugs, Coyote

> If ya'll have kept up -- my Gram is now at the NH since Monday

> morning. I have gone over there to see her everyday, except

> yesterday. And guess what? All heck broke loose yesterday. :(

I

> just wanted a chance to get my house clean -- but Bad Old Lewy saw

an

> opportunity and took full advantage. The NH called -- Gram was

> running around (alright, not running, but you know what I mean)

> clutching the clothes from her closet and saying she was leaving.

> She was VERY upset and crying. I finally, after a million

attempts,

> got her on the phone. She kept saying, " Well, it isn't doing a

bit

> of good for me to sit here in the wagon. I am going to Mom &

Dad's

> house. " It was awful. I know -- transition period. But this is

> killing me.

>

> On a positive note -- when I gave the head staff people there

copies

> of the CCC papers, they sort of blew me off. Well, guess what?

Now

> they are making copies for the entire staff so everyone will be

> aware. I am sure there is at least one other person there who has

> LBD, but is probably undiagnosed like Gram. That's my Gram, the

> trailblazer. :) I have to find the humor in all of this or I

will

> wind up a quivering puddle of salt water.

>

> I want to runaway. Is that bad? I want to just go away and

pretend

> that I never even heard of Lewy. I am putting off going over

there

> today -- I am afraid of what I will find. I may not go -- is that

> awful?

>

> --Wolfie

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No it is not awful. Sometimes we have to " run away " in order to come back

and take care of things. I ran away to my trailer this weekend. I drank

several of Jan Collelo's lemon drops, toasting each and every one of you. I

started a diary and dedicated it to all my LBD friends and their LO's and I

listed all the names I could remember. The problem was that there was just

too many of you and too many lemon drops so I am afraid I drank too much.

Then I cried my eyes out, then I got sick...In fact I drank so much that I

do not remember the champagne that was opened and spilt all over the floor,

that I apparently had after the lemon drops. Needless to say I did not

partake in any lemon drop martinis on the Saturday night nor will I be

drinking any champagne any time soon. I did spend a great deal of time

thinking, despite my efforts not to. I did relax and sat out by the fire

that I built on the snow where I thought my firepit was located and enjoyed

the big puffy snowflakes falling down upon my big golf umbrella. It kept me

perfectly dry and I was warm from the fire but I do smell somewhat smoky on

my coat. I urge you to run away when you have to, so that you can return to

the ugly business of LBD without shooting yourself. I advise that although

they (the Lemon Drops) taste great and having one or two can help at

times...DO NOT TOAST INDIVIDUALLY EVERYONE WHO IS A CAREGIVER FOR SOMEONE

WITH LBD...it is hazardous to your health!!!

Next time it will have to be a group toast. NOW STOP LAUGHING....

Kath (who swears she will never drink like that again)

Gram @ NH

> If ya'll have kept up -- my Gram is now at the NH since Monday

> morning. I have gone over there to see her everyday, except

> yesterday. And guess what? All heck broke loose yesterday. :( I

> just wanted a chance to get my house clean -- but Bad Old Lewy saw an

> opportunity and took full advantage. The NH called -- Gram was

> running around (alright, not running, but you know what I mean)

> clutching the clothes from her closet and saying she was leaving.

> She was VERY upset and crying. I finally, after a million attempts,

> got her on the phone. She kept saying, " Well, it isn't doing a bit

> of good for me to sit here in the wagon. I am going to Mom & Dad's

> house. " It was awful. I know -- transition period. But this is

> killing me.

>

> On a positive note -- when I gave the head staff people there copies

> of the CCC papers, they sort of blew me off. Well, guess what? Now

> they are making copies for the entire staff so everyone will be

> aware. I am sure there is at least one other person there who has

> LBD, but is probably undiagnosed like Gram. That's my Gram, the

> trailblazer. :) I have to find the humor in all of this or I will

> wind up a quivering puddle of salt water.

>

> I want to runaway. Is that bad? I want to just go away and pretend

> that I never even heard of Lewy. I am putting off going over there

> today -- I am afraid of what I will find. I may not go -- is that

> awful?

>

> --Wolfie

>

>

>

> Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

>

>

>

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