Re: fog in the sunshine

[Guest guest]

Hi Kate,

I completely understand the mixed feelings you had on your

honeymoon. So many of us KO's feel like we have no right to enjoy

life because our nadas have always told us we are selfish

and " lucky " not to have their lives. My nada once embarrassed my

brother and myself in front of his new wife and her mother and my

new husband on Thanksgiving Day and for some reason your post

reminded me so much of that. Someone made an offhand comment about

her dog begging for food or something and she flipped out and put

the dog in the car and drove to another state leaving the turkey in

the oven and a nasty note for us to see when we got to her

apartment. It was a rainy day and I remember being so

confused....that night my husband and I went back to her apartment

to make sure she was o.k. and she was sitting in the dark not moving

and not talking....and of course I professed my love and

understanding like a good daughter of a psycho would.....that was

one of many, many holidays she ruined.

Don't ever feel like you are the only one who goes through

this....we are in this together. I try to remind myself that my

nada didn't ever seem happy or satisfied with me even when I was in

her life so what would be my motivation to re-enter her life. She

sucks the life blood out of me and I end up thinking about her 24/7

and yelling at my husband and kids through displaced feelings. You

don't owe your nada anything...do you think for one second if she

had an opportunity to go to Hawaii over Christmas she would give you

a second thought....of course not.....why do we have to behave in

kind, obliged ways that they never do...I for one am throught with

that sh--!! All the good things we do for them are forgotten so why

bother....I guess I'm on a tangent.

Thanks to everyone who responded to my last post, it really helps.

Happy nada-free new year to y'all

Penny