Anne: Re: End stages question -

[Guest guest]

> > > Hi,

> > >

> > > My name is Debbie and I actually joined this group over a year

> ago.

> > I'm ashamed to admit that after joining, I just couldn't handle

> > constantly discussing my Mom's deteriorating condition and that

of

> > everyone else's LO too. Maybe it was just my own way of coping? I

> > don't know.

> > >

> > > My Mom has been in a NH for well over a year, we almost lost

her

> to

> > aspiration pneumonia back in Feb...she was hospitalized for 5

> weeks,

> > on a vent, and miraculously recovered. However she's been on a

> > feeding tube ever since. Her legs are so contracted that she

> spends

> > her days almost in a fetal position with her knees up at about

her

> > belly button area or higher. All summer the NH had her lying in

> bed

> > b/c of bed sores that needed to heal, lately they've had her up a

> few

> > hours a day in a Geri chair. It used to be that you could wake

her

> > when you went to visit and she'd follow what you were saying for

> > about 10 or 15 minutes before drifting back off to sleep.

> Sometimes

> > she could join in with a few words....they didn't always make

> sense

> > and half the time you couldn't understand the words either, but

> she

> > was " with " you. In the past month however, she's entered another

> > stage I think. It's nearly impossible to wake her and if her eyes

> > open, she looks at you briefly then closes them within seconds.

> The

> > head Dr at the NH told my father that this is likely due to her

> > brain " shutting down " .

> > >

> > > Of course it's extremely hard to watch this and see her in this

> > state. Before she went into the NH she was at home being cared

for

> > round the clock by my Dad and then we had the paranoia,

> > hallucinations, angry behavior...i.e. nasty dementia....always

> having

> > to have someone in the room with her, always feeling like she had

> to

> > go to the bathroom, then constipated etc. It's both amazing and

> > terrible to see the vast difference in her from then to now...of

> > course knowing that neither of these states represents how my Mom

> > really used to be in her " normal " life. I guess the part of the

> brain

> > that controlled all that activity has " shut down " too?

> > >

> > > I'm just wondering if anyone else's LO is or was in this kind

of

> > continuously sleeping state? While I hate to lose my Mom, in so

> many

> > ways this has already happened and I also hate the fact that she

> may

> > be suffering. It was my Dad's decision to have her put on the

vent

> > when she had the pneumonia....and to have her on the feeding

> > tube....obviously prolonging her stay with us but honestly I

don't

> > believe it's what she would have wanted. She never wanted to be

in

> a

> > NH or be one of those people who " linger " but my Dad has a hard

> time

> > letting go. I only hope that she's not aware of the state she's

> in,

> > that she doesn't fully know that she's a prisoner in her own body

> and

> > that she's not scared.

> > >

> > > If you have any stories to share of your LO in a similar End

> Stage

> > I'd appreciate hearing about them.

> > >

> > > thanks for listening if you got this far,

> > >

> > > Debbie

> > > (in Mass)

> > >

> > >

> > >