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Re: people

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Dear jeremy,

> From: jmknapp74@...

> Subject: people

>

> your friends and family wont like you if you're honest with them, is

> that

> true?

> i never want to say " yes " to them, never want to hang out. it

> feels

> true to me.

>

> can you really know that if you say " no " over and over, they will stop

> liking

> you?

> no, they will lay guilt trips on me...this is how it's always

> been!

> " gee, i guess you're too good for us, you must have something better

> to do

> etc. " so, YES goddammit, i can know. im not gonna say i dont unless

> i really

> feel that. this is MY truth.

It is good that you stick to your truth. I just do not see where they

lay guilt on you. You give an example, but I do not see them laying

guilt on you.

You do not want to bee together with them. That is what I hear. So you

ARE too good for them, aren't you? And you DO have something better to

do. If not you hang around with them! So where are they laying guilt

upon you? And why does that keep them from liking you?

So, Can you REALLY know, that it is true, that they will stop liking

you?

And can you REALLY know, that it is not for the best of you if they

would - even in the long term?

> how do you live when you believe this thought?

> im extremely torn. i feel dependent on what others think of

> me. i

> feel somethings wrong with me because im so aloof to others. i lie to

> them. i

> dont answer my phone. i go out when i dont want to (if i didnt, i may

> never

> go out at all, which is also stressful). conversation feels forced and

> uncomfortable. im tired of this. i just want to be normal.

>

> yes, i see a reason to drop it.

> no, i cant see a peacful reason to keep it.

>

> who would you be without this story?

> truthful. honest. i would say what i mean withour fear of

> possible

> outcomes. except i never know what i mean or what i really want, but

> hey! i

> say " leave " , and then as soon as you're gone, i regret it. jesus.

> turnarounds.

> -my friends and family will love me for being honest with them.

> maybe

> in an episode of brady bunch.

> -i will like me for being honest with me.

> -i dont like me for not being honest.

> -i dont like my thinking.

>

> well, this is all true and i still feel confused and that's reality.

> ooooookay then.

>

> jeremy

What you write looks like a lot of confusion. I hear that you want

others to like you the way you are. You lie to them and trick them,

wich is being the way you are. No disguise!

Does it work for you?

> i never know what i mean or what i really want, but hey! i

> say " leave " , and then as soon as you're gone, i regret it. jesus.

You don't love yourself, and want others to do your job? That's

impossible. That is what is called " fighting reality " . Which leads to a

lot of confusion. It is hopeless.

Try to judge others some more, before you judge yourself. And do the

work on those judgements.

I made the experience that people show me the way I am by being the way

they are. Anyone, my wife, my mother, my father, my siblings, friends,

the guy in the metro. When I judge them and I come to the turnaround

and I listen to it and feel it, I come to realize something about

myself.

Bye,

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