Re:Emotional fragility

[Guest guest]

Hi ..........you are SOOOOOOOOOO not alone! I can vouch for this

feeling 110%. Most days, I feel like a completely different person than the one

I was (and still am on the occasional 'good' day). I was the " go to " girl, for

everything, from friends and family members when they were in a jam or needed

help, to the 'go to' girl at work, ie: copy machine jammed, computer problems,

not to mention my actual JOB!!! LOL....then throw in a wife and mother on top of

that? Holy Cow!!!!

I have days now that are so overwhelming, I just want out of my life completely!

Not suicide mind you, but just to run away and start over somewhere where no one

knows the 'previous' me. I feel it has a lot to do with so much in our systems

are completely out of whack.......I don't really know..........maybe it's

because we feel so out of control with these diseases? So many changes that we

aren't prepared for and it finally comes to a breaking point?

Emotionally, I just crack, break down at the most insignificant things in

reality, but when it hits you, at that time, it seems ENORMOUS! I think " one

more thing and it will do me in! " The only way I can deal with it is to

remember that tomorrow will be better. When I am emotionally stronger, I

realize how small that thing was that triggered me and I chalk it up to the

intense pressure we feel to be ourselves, our OLD selves. How badly I want to

be back there.....and occasionally, I get to visit that old self of mine, that

strong self that can handle anything!!! It feels good, but I know it's just

temporary, but I still enjoy it while it lasts and can appreciate how strong I

really am, underneath all this!

I hope this all made sense to you - I guess I'm just agreeing that my emotions

are all over the place now, not like before these illnesses.

Take care and Peace,

STL Jane

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Yes , I do feel emotionally frail. I think that has a lot to do

with the fatigue. The less energy reserve I have the less I can deal

with anything and that goes for emotional responses to people as well.

Also, knowing I have to justify to folks that I am ill makes me more

fragile as well as I am on the defensive from the start.

Sandrea

[Guest guest]

I always love reading your posts Jane! They are always

so articulate and inspiring! I just wanted to take a

minute to thank you for that!!

Gentle Hugs

--- Jane wrote:

> Hi ..........you are SOOOOOOOOOO not alone!

> I can vouch for this feeling 110%. Most days, I

> feel like a completely different person than the one

> I was (and still am on the occasional 'good' day).

> I was the " go to " girl, for everything, from friends

> and family members when they were in a jam or needed

> help, to the 'go to' girl at work, ie: copy machine

> jammed, computer problems, not to mention my actual

> JOB!!!

[Guest guest]

Oh Allie you have been through so much…that would flatten a healthy person.

These struggles are part of life, but us types do have such trouble coping

with stress. Take it easy on yourself dear and I hope you too have a happy

holiday, and a peaceful one. Aylwin xox

_____

From: CFAlliance [mailto:CFAlliance ] On

Behalf Of allie70@...

Sent: Monday, December 17, 2007 12:59 PM

To: CFAlliance

Subject: Re:Emotional fragility

In the past two years I have been under tremendous stress. My husband

went for a colonoscopy at that time and DR. perforated his bowel. The

next night he was in emergency surgery with peritonitis and his bowels

on his tummy, forgive the grossness.)