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The Vicar in a small South Island town explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.

There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave. Ross , who owns several car dealerships in Southland and Otago,stands up and proclaims: 'If the Vicar stays,

I will provide him with a new Holden every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!' The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds. Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, if the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally

double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!' More sighs and loud applause. Agnes , age 88, stands and announces with a smile, if the Vicar stays, I will give him sex.' There is total silence. The Preacher, blushing, asks her: 'Mrs. , whatever possessed you to say that?' Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and

shaking his head from side to side,

while his wife replies: 'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'F**k the Vicar'.

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