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Eva --Re: I need...

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Dear Eva,

Yes.

> These thoughts, untrue and heavy, are keeping us down, are

> keeping us fixated, addicted to all the shoulds we impose on

> someone else, are keeping us from spreading our wings and explore

> what's there in the world to explore.

Funny thing is that, after two days of spinning thoughts, doing the

best i could to do the work and stay present for myself, puffy eyes

from so much crying, this sweet man that i was agonizing about

losing his love, called me and asked if he could take me to dinner.

All of my fears and worries and thoughts were complete and utter

projection... what i had feared was going on on his end, was not.

The snake was such a rope.

There's a lot in this experience for me. This morning i observe

myself flip-floping to the other end of this crazy spectrum for me,

which is my fear of hurting him and questions of " do i really want

him? " Isn't that just absurd? I wonder whether this back and forth

is not just all head/mind games to keep me from the peace and love

of the moment. I so want to be centered and come from a place of

love whether/when i'm with him or whether/when i'm alone but that

did not seem to be my path this past weekend.

The learning and self-realization goes on. Here's to the spreading

of our wings and exploring the world.

Love,

Heidi

> Heidi, I'm happy my sharing was helpful.

> I can relate to your list of things you need as well....

> I had the image of how I was crushing this wonderful bird in my

> clenching fist, wanting it to stay with me, be there for me, only

me.

> But of course, a bird cannot be happy if it is held captive, or

even

> if it is with someone who wants to hold it down...

> And I cannot be happy if the bird is unhappy.

> But also I myself hold myself captive by my mistaken thoughts,

these

> lies, about how I would be happier if only....

>

> So, like you said, in other words, you need to be able to fly as

well!

>

> These thoughts, untrue and heavy, are keeping us down, are keeping

us

> fixated, addicted to all the shoulds we impose on someone else,

are

> keeping us from spreading our wings and explore what's there in

the

> world to explore.

>

> However, if we find the spark of interest in our own world to

> explore, the richness of it, it is also so much more fun to meet

with

> the other birds, to share our experiences, the dialogues become

rich

> and satisfying instead of poor (repetitive) and hungry .....

>

> In my experience, it helps to change my focus:

> See the poverty of my behavior now, my narrow focus on my

addictive

> thoughts, and then, see how this poverty and addiction makes me

blind

> and ignorant the richness of everything else that is happening

just

> for me!

> The sounds, the colors, the textures of the things I touch, to

name

> just a few of the simple things...

>

> Anyway, that's the exercise I find helpful .... changing my focus!

>

> Love,

> Eva

>

> > I am so thankful that you shared your experience on the list. It

> helps me see a

> > glimmer, a crack in this cement wall of thoughts and stories

that

> are painful.

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