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Sometimes I get to feeling very alone, then I get a message like this

from my friend and it just picks me up and makes me want to cry, not

from bein sad just because I feel so grateful for people...

'hey mud - what's shakin? how is your eyeball? what's new? when are u

coming to see me????? i miss you and love you. ~ lisa'

friends whom I think don't care,whom I assume are too busy to call me

back or are tired of me... then they remind me that's only my

depression talking. : ) People do get busy, busy which I miss.

I had viral pinkeye recently and was feeling sick (it's not west nile

as far as I know hehe- but man did I get tired and hurting)and when

I'm not feeling well on top of the pain, it gets to be alot. Then

thinking about past mistreatment was boggling to my mind, but you

know, they can all kiss my...cheeks. Those insensitive uncaring docs

aren't holding me at night or running any bathwater for me and one

thing for sure they're not losing any sleep over me either, so why

should I give them any more emotional energy that is a precious

commodity? No, they can't have this space in my head, they are not

paying rent. I'm saving my caring for my true friends and that

includes those who have written to me here in support of my

experiences, for which I am very grateful.

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