tom

[Guest guest]

dear tom.. I'm very behind in reading emails. .. i just read your email of

Aug 7 thanks for your thoughtful reply... It helped to go through your

questions...

I dont really know if he uses drugs and it is his business... Will I let it

go if he denies a problem.. ... No he has been denying it for months or a few

years really and I havent let it go yet..I dont nag him because he doesnt live

with me.. but i wonder how i will be able to be quiet when he is living here..

I guess i need to keep doing the work till. i do let it go......

If i tell him its up to him to get help.. What will I have.. A really angry

son... I am still confused as to what to do..maybe nothing... but from your

email.. I can see that sort of statement is cold and in his business..

In regards to the drug test.. years ago iin high school he had to drink that

tea stuff to pass a drug test..for a job.. but back than I figured it was only

grass--a drug too but acceptable -- to me anyway... and he was drinking

that special tea stuff in front of me.. I knew about it.. and didnt fight it...

I

guess I feel helpless. and I am seeing it is his business.. No matter what a

drug test showed it wouldnt matter because it is his business anyway.

Your right when you said didnt allow her daughter she had no choice..

I need to worry about my own issues and let go of this ...

I want to add.. it has bothered me that i wrote so negatively when i am very

proud of him .. and my other son..also....both are successful.. both

graduated magnum cum laude and both are working... one is working for a major

newspaper as an intern.. in Israel.. he will be home in Sept... both always got

As

and both are very talented... both play guitar ...

So both are very very successful.. but drugs scare the heck out of

me...still.. And i see that in him..even though .. I dont use drugs.. but i

guess the

future scares me... and it has been my habit to worry..my drug.. . I do want to

live in the present.. but the past and future seem to take over at times...

and that is my drug... of choice...

I suppose i wonder what his future will be like if he does use drugs.. and

well it is his business... and maybe his path... i know that it maybe somehting

he needs ..after all if it is reality it must be... . it is hard to see

people in pain.. and yet we grow and are forced really to change with pain...

I

suppose I am trying to escape my own pain with worrying about him and his

brother.. and giving everyone advise they dont need or want...

I know he will find his own path and i have to just love him

unconditiionally... which I do .. everything is a path to God...

I made a mistake at work which is really bothering me today..that im not good

enough stuff came up for me.. and I know I need to get in present time...and

do the work on that

thanks very much for your letter... love, roslyn