Eva --Re: I need... blah blah blah...

[Guest guest]

Heidi, I'm happy my sharing was helpful.

I can relate to your list of things you need as well....

I had the image of how I was crushing this wonderful bird in my

clenching fist, wanting it to stay with me, be there for me, only me.

But of course, a bird cannot be happy if it is held captive, or even

if it is with someone who wants to hold it down...

And I cannot be happy if the bird is unhappy.

But also I myself hold myself captive by my mistaken thoughts, these

lies, about how I would be happier if only....

So, like you said, in other words, you need to be able to fly as well!

These thoughts, untrue and heavy, are keeping us down, are keeping us

fixated, addicted to all the shoulds we impose on someone else, are

keeping us from spreading our wings and explore what's there in the

world to explore.

*****Hello Eva ~ maybe you'd like to explore where " these thoughts,

untrue and heavy " which are keeping you down, come from? Does Eva

will these thoughts? Is Eva's consciousness generating them...are

they initiated by the Eva who " receives " (experiences) them?

Or is something else at work here.

A story. At some large amusement parks there are these rides, for

kids, where they sit in a small motor boat and the boat moves along a

water courseway. A child sits in the pilot's seat and turns the

wheel which " steers " the boat. (Of course the boat is on a pre-set

course and moves independently from the motion of the sterring wheel,

but the kiddies don't know that. Knowing it would destroy the fun,

the game-playing, of the ride.)

So...the boat comes to a Y intersection, and the child piloting the

boat turns the wheel left. Ahhh....the boat takes the left hand

course. Next intersection, the kid spins the wheel right and yes!

the boat moves right. Giggling, laughing, the youngster concludes " I

am a great pilot! I've got this skill down pat. "

At the next Y split, the child turns the wheel left and ... the boat

goes right! The kid is confused. He/she must have done something

wrong, he concludes. He/she will have to pay more attention, be more

diligent from now on. At the next split, the boat goes left while

the child spins the wheel right, cursing, upset, annoyed,

distraught. Now the kid sees him/herself as a royal screw-up.

Clearly, the kid turned the wheel right but the boat went left. The

youngster IS the pilot...it must be his/her fault, he/she must be

doing something 'wrong'! We adults laugh, quietly, all knowing: the

child is still under the misapprehension that wheel is connected to

the boat's rudder, that his/her steering determine the direction the

boat would take.

We are just grown-up children. ;-)) Get it?

[Thanks to Wayne Liquorman for this enlightening insight.]