Eva --Re: I need... blah blah blah...

[Guest guest]

Heidi, I'm happy my sharing was helpful.

I can relate to your list of things you need as well....

I had the image of how I was crushing this wonderful bird in my

clenching fist, wanting it to stay with me, be there for me, only me.

But of course, a bird cannot be happy if it is held captive, or even

if it is with someone who wants to hold it down...

And I cannot be happy if the bird is unhappy.

But also I myself hold myself captive by my mistaken thoughts, these

lies, about how I would be happier if only....

So, like you said, in other words, you need to be able to fly as well!

These thoughts, untrue and heavy, are keeping us down, are keeping us

fixated, addicted to all the shoulds we impose on someone else, are

keeping us from spreading our wings and explore what's there in the

world to explore.

However, if we find the spark of interest in our own world to

explore, the richness of it, it is also so much more fun to meet with

the other birds, to share our experiences, the dialogues become rich

and satisfying instead of poor (repetitive) and hungry .....

In my experience, it helps to change my focus:

See the poverty of my behavior now, my narrow focus on my addictive

thoughts, and then, see how this poverty and addiction makes me blind

and ignorant the richness of everything else that is happening just

for me!

The sounds, the colors, the textures of the things I touch, to name

just a few of the simple things...

Anyway, that's the exercise I find helpful .... changing my focus!

Love,

Eva

> I am so thankful that you shared your experience on the list. It

helps me see a

> glimmer, a crack in this cement wall of thoughts and stories that

are painful.