More Re: Serious reflection -

[Guest guest]

" Boyd " wrote:

> Carol.

>

> You are such a light.

>

> You make it so easy for me to love you.

>

> Thank you. -

-

Everyone I meet is a teacher. Everyone I meet takes me to the light -

if I let them.

You make it so easy for me to love you....

So this means that others make it hard for you to love? I can see

this in myself with people in my life and your post makes me take a

look at that. Is not easy-to-love merely agreement-based? We share

the same story so it's easy to love - your ego is giving my ego just

the noise it wishes to hear?

I know that in your saying this it is a desire to connect lovingly.

But in so doing, and it reinforcing my story about casual love - not

real love because real love encompasses all things equally - nothing

is special nor does anything have to *be* a certain way to earn that

love. 's experience with her non-breathing grandson and her not

wishing to miss a minute of loving him - dead or alive - is a deep,

deep story for me.

I also notice that when I see this post or posts like this, I use them

to give me a message yet again that I am unlovable. Carol's lovable,

but I am not. Mona's lovable, but I am not. Totally false, I'm just

realizing that's why this post gave me a charge.

At the same time what it brings up for me is - I can take enough data

to play like Mona and Carol so I too can be loved by or

whoever...that's the old me.

Do I love Tim-who agrees with me- more than I love - who doesn't

appear to agree with me ....yet? If the answer is yes, then I have a

problem. I'm making Tim important and pushing away.

I've done this all of my life. Control that world....Thanks for

illuminating my need to look at this - I love that you did that.

Blessings - Jan