Re: Controversial subject.

[Guest guest]

Hi Judy,

I don't know of anyone who has given up their child with PMG. However,

as a former foster parent, I know first hand all of the emotions tied

into the heart wrenching decision of where a child should live. One of

the biggest things that I learned (humbly) was that the/child's/ needs

came first (at the time we were wishing to ultimately adopt a child that

we fostered, which didn't happen.) The child's needs may or may not be

best met in their biological home.

Let's face it, having a special needs child is tough in the best of

circumstances, no matter how much money or support you have (although,

of course, these things certainly help.) If one does not have the

ideal family situation for whatever reason (employment, their own

readiness/capability to parent, health problems, lack of support or

money, etc.) then the stress can become unbearable and unfortunately,

the child's need may go unmet or worse, they may become a target of

parental frustration and anger in the form of abuse.

In sum, the answer lies in where /your grandson's /needs can be

appropriately met and he can receive the love and attention/services he

deserves. Of course, I am not the one to judge that. But, if you put

the needs of the child first, perhaps the answer will become clear.

I wish your family all the best and will pray for your little grandson!

Most sincerely,

>

> I'm sorry to bring this up, but do any of you know of anyone who has

> given up their PMG child?

>

> There are some very serious things going on at my daughter's house,

> and the little one may be put in foster care thru the state. The very

> idea breaks my heart. I do help out as much as I can, but I simply

> cannot bring him to my apartment to live. He will be 4 in Feb. He has

> bilateral diffuse PMG, and is severely handicapped.

>

> Any ideas?

>

>

[Guest guest]

As a former foster child myself as well as a former foster emergency foster

parent, I have seen the very best and worst of the foster care system. It's a

tough time for you and your family, my heart goes out.

In some states and some counties, such as mine in Northern CA, the various

support systems provided to special needs families are just wonderful.

When I was newly single mother of a toddler with PMG unable to walk or talk, I

was unable to work because of his intense needs. Where I lived there was no

help. It was a scary time. I researched and moved into a nearby county where I

was able to make ends meet through intense emotional support and a special

financial assistance program for special needs kids. I can honestly say that my

son's severe disability has helped me become the mother and person I've always

dreamed of being. We are thriving now and have been since we moved.

Without alot of spiritual, emotional and financial help, the depression and

frustration and isolation can brake anyone. I don't know if this is a factor in

your daughters situation, but I know it has been with the kids I've taken care

of.

If your grandchild does go into an institution, or foster home, depending on

where you live, you can keep in close contact and visit him to be sure he is

being loved and cared for well. The more people a child has looking after them,

the better their chances are for a happy life.

All our love and prayers,

Mom to Josh, 9

Sent from my iPhone

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much for your encouraging words. The whole situation just breaks

my heart. I'm so hoping that things will have a positive outcome.

Judy

>

> As a former foster child myself as well as a former foster emergency foster

parent, I have seen the very best and worst of the foster care system. It's a

tough time for you and your family, my heart goes out.

> In some states and some counties, such as mine in Northern CA, the various

support systems provided to special needs families are just wonderful.

>

> When I was newly single mother of a toddler with PMG unable to walk or talk, I

was unable to work because of his intense needs. Where I lived there was no

help. It was a scary time. I researched and moved into a nearby county where I

was able to make ends meet through intense emotional support and a special

financial assistance program for special needs kids. I can honestly say that my

son's severe disability has helped me become the mother and person I've always

dreamed of being. We are thriving now and have been since we moved.

> Without alot of spiritual, emotional and financial help, the depression and

frustration and isolation can brake anyone. I don't know if this is a factor in

your daughters situation, but I know it has been with the kids I've taken care

of.

> If your grandchild does go into an institution, or foster home, depending on

where you live, you can keep in close contact and visit him to be sure he is

being loved and cared for well. The more people a child has looking after them,

the better their chances are for a happy life.

> All our love and prayers,

>

> Mom to Josh, 9

>

>

> Sent from my iPhone

>