nothing and no one

[Guest guest]

Earlier I signed off:

" Loving the red pail and the blue pail,

Heidi who is also Trinity, , Maneesha, Carol, April, Steve C, Steve D,

Neo,

Bev, Mona, Barbara, nne, , Tom, ZenBear, P, Margaret, Elena, Helen,

and

and Cheri and everyone and no one "

And then i logged off and went to make tea. And i had the thought " Oh no! I

forgot

Jan... who else did i not mention? Are their feelings going to be hurt? And i

started

worrying. And then i realized i was worried not because i had not included them

but

because *i* don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. *I* should always include

everyone.

Well, it really is pretty funny, because, our list is at twelve hundred

something, isn't it?

Then i thought, well, Jan is everyone and no one. What a lovely place to be.

Everyone

and no one. That's me. I find it all: arrogance and humility. Self-hate and

compassion.

Harsh and mean and soft and gentle. And none of it: just a being, allowing life

and

love to be lived through me. No doing. Simply showing up and being. Ahhhhh.

Nothing to do, no one to be.

Love.

noeon, neono, noeno, noone, enono (but who seems to who turn around when she

hears " Heidi " )