Re: Rapid decline...Sharon

January 1, 2004

Sharon:

God bless you for wanting to do more for me when it sounds like you

have your own hands more than full. Believe me, fighting the good

fight on behalf of your mom is enough. I'm happy to receive your

prayers and feel blessed to have met such kind people who truly " get "

it on this board.

My dad has been only not recognized my mom and sister so far and that

was in the middle of the night. He attributes it to being confused

and half asleep. I'm not certain that's what it is but I don't want

to hurt him further by insisting on something that is really

difficult for him. Last night, he and I were sitting on his couch

and he turned to me and said, " If I could go through this and not

effect you guys, I'd do it. I hate that you suffer in this almost

more than I do. " I turned to him and said, " We will go through this

and more for you because we love you but mom could use help. Won't

you let us call someone in to help her with you throughout the

night? " He looked at me and said, " I know I'll get there but I'm not

ready for that yet... " It doesn't help when my sister and my mother

agree with him. I'm more worried because my sister (who sometimes

goes to stay at my mom's overnight) will be in Vegas for 5 days and

my mom will be on her own. She won't let me stay with her (my dad is

even more adamant about this) because she says my kids are young and

need me. I've tried insisting and it just ends up getting us all

upset to the point of tears.... Yet, I worry - like we all worry.

I know the decision you made to put your mom in a nh was far from

easy. Even knowing it was your only option doesn't make it simple

does it? Anytime we feel we're putting out LOs in situations we know

they'd rather not be in, we suffer right along with them. Being with

her on a nightly basis must help although I know it must be taking

its toll on you even if you and your sister share the load.

Thank you once again for such a heartfelt response. I've lost count

of how often I have cried reading these posts. My wish is that in

2004 all of us have occasion to cry a little less than we did in

2003.

Abby

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