21 Ways to Stay in the Peace #9

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#9 Literal Hearing

Practice listening to others in the most literal sense, believing

exactly what they say, and do your best to resist falling into your

own interpretations about the information they share with you.

For example, someone might compliment you on how beautiful you are

and you interpret that as an implication that the person has

ulterior motives. Our interpretations of what we hear people say are

often far more painful or frightening than what people actually say.

We can hurt ourselves with misconceptions and our thinking for

others. Try trusting that what they say is exactly what they mean;

not more, not less. Hear people out. Catch yourself when you want to

finish a sentence for someone either aloud or in your mind. Listen.

It can be amazing to hear what comes out when we allow others to

complete their thoughts without interruption. And, when we are busy

thinking we know what they are about to say, we are missing what

they are actually saying.

You might want to consider these questions: " What can be threatened

if I listen and hear literally? Do I interrupt because I don't want

to really know what they have to say? Do I interrupt to convince

them I know more than they do? Am I attempting to convey an image of

self-confidence and control? Who would I be without the need to

possess those qualities? Is there a fear of appearing unintelligent?

Would people leave me if I heard them literally and no longer engage

in manipulative games? "

From Byron

Compiled by Lynn Hendrix