too busy

[Guest guest]

I'm too busy to do the Work.

1 Is it true? Well, I haven't written any in a while and that's what

I told myself about not writing.

a What's the reality of it? Writing a piece of work doesn't take very

long and I've seen that afterwards, I'm freer and more productive

so the time I devote to my activities is used more effectively.

Also, the work happens in my head. It seems to have a certain

momentum that I can feed by writing, but that seems to continue,

perhaps at a slower pace (no, I can't know that <grin>) when I'm

not writing.

b Whose business is it? How busy I am? My busy-ness today has to do

with commitments I made weeks and months ago. Today, right now, my

options are to do the things I've committed to or not. The Tom who

made the commitments weeks and months ago had a choice about

whether to make the commitments. The choice (apparently) in front

of Tom today is whether to honor those commitments. So whose

business is it? I don't know, and I don't suppose it really

matters. I won't choose to not follow through on the commitments. I

will do my best to keep them. Sometimes I think there's a problem

when I get tired or think about all I " have " to do and feel

overwhelmed.

2 Can I absolutely know that it's true? No, I can't

a Can I know what is best for my own path? No, I really cannot. All I

can do is take the next step.

b Can I know that I'd be happier if I got what I think I want? No.

3 How do I react when I think that thought? I don't want to do

anything. I hunch down and try to hide. I feel guilty, not enough.

a Where do I feel it in my body? Shoulders, head, my eyes scan for

threats. I feel very defensive.

c Does this thought bring peace or stress into my life? stress

d What's the worst that could happen if I never have the thought

again, and is that true? I might do the work just any old time when

I " ought " to be focussing on the research paper coming due or my

assignment at work or, or, or.... Yes, that's true, I might. And it

might actually help me get clear inside and face the task before me

with renewed enthusiasm and energy.

i How do I treat myself when I believe that thought? I beat on myself

to move faster, to get more done. I'm very mean to myself.

j What do I get out of holding this belief? What's the payoff? I get

to not look at the thoughts and beliefs that hold me back.

k What does it cost me? freedom and energy, joy

m Can I see a reason to drop the thought? (but don't try) yes

n Can I see a stress-free reason for keeping the thought? The reason

would be to keep myself from doing the Work in order to stay

focussed on what I'm " supposed " to be doing, and that's stressful,

so no.

4 Who am I without that thought? More relaxed. Happier. Doing what

needs to be done with less stress and tension. Taking a break to do

the Work when I feel the inclination.

c What would I experience without my story? Freedom to do the Work or

do my work at whatever pace feels right to me.

g If I were just put here without the ability to think that thought

would I be in the same situation? No, cause I wouldn't be holding

myself back from Working.

5 Turn it around (to self, other, opposite, thinking, being willing,

looking forward)

- I'm too busy not to do the Work. (true -- I've seen how doing the

Work frees up energy and clarity so I get more done)

- My thinking is too busy. (yes, that's where a lot of energy goes.

Perhaps if it were met with understanding, it could calm down)

a Where do I experience this turnaround in my life now? I just did --

I broke the logjam and took the time to write a piece of Work.

b What can I do in this moment to begin living this turnaround? Give

myself permission to write the Work whenever I feel the inclination

rather than pushing it away " because I'm too busy. "

--

Tom Barron | " It is better to debate a question without settling

tbarron@... | it than to settle a question without debating it. "