( R or even X Rated!) more fired up!

[Guest guest]

Talk about a fucking day from hell. It started when I called my pain Dr. to

be told he was at the hospital and wouldn't be back until 1:00. This was around

9:30 AM.....so I kind of figured I was about to be shit on yet again.

Well, 1:00 arrived and went, so by 2:30 I called his office and if you didn't

guess it by now he had already left the office. I usually am able to keep my

cool but tore the receptionist a new asshole. Sorry, you knew I needed to either

see him or speak to him but you allowed it to slip your mind.

She called back about 45 minutes later telling me the Dr. would see me on

Monday to adjust the morphine pump level. That would be just fucking fine if

they didn't just adjust it two fucking weeks ago with a grand total of ZERO

improvement! I told her I'm not interested in being their football anymore and

to tell the Dr to go fuck himself..I then hung up.

She called again and again so I finally spoke to her and she apologized but

suggested I go to the ER. I don't know how it works everywhere else but here in

the asshole of America (WIlkes-Barre, Pa) you sit in the waiting room for 8

fucking hours watching them take people who arrived 4 hours after you before

they actually get to you. Then they treat you like a drug seeking scumbag, or at

least sometimes they do. I sure as hell am not in the mood for that now or ever.

I once had a hospital security punk by the throat, I ain't cut out to be shit

on.

I sympathize with the receptionist and did apologize to her, and at least she

understands where I am coming from. She knows my situation very well and told me

she was going to call the Dr one more time in an effort to get him off of his

fat,lazy ass.

To shorten the story, the lazy bastard restated I should go to the ER if I'm

in that much pain, and I hung up.

I called my family Dr and gave him the rundown and he is calling in some meds

to get me through the weekend until I can see him on Tuesday. The icing on the

cake is that I was on the cell phone driving my truck while talking to my family

Dr when some retarded kid with his fag-wagon decided to try and pass me on a two

lane no passing road......well my truck runs good and I was pissed so I " guided "

him off the road. I know I'm too hot right now so please forgive me. I do hope

he wrecked that piece of shit he was driving as he was pissing me off for a few

miles.

ALL I want to do is get through my son's Super Bowl game on Sunday (I'm also

one of the coaches) and than if I have to go to the fucking resort, I'll go.

I just can't believe the total lack of balls doctors have these days. The

receptionist from my Pain Dr wants me to scream at him to let him know how bad I

want to kick his fucking ass but I told her that wasn't a great idea. I'm an

incredibly nice & courteous man until I get pushed to a certain limit....after

that I am more than capable of killing someone in the blink of an eye,

handicapped or not.

She still thinks I should do it...so I told her to make sure they have two

tough SOB's on hand to settle me down if I snap. I have no desire to go to jail.

The other thing that I can't get out of my mind right now is why in Gods'

name didn't I just fucking die when I got sick. Sure, everyone would have cried

for a week but then time would move on. I am convinced it would've been a much

better outcome than the fucking garbage life I'm stuck with now. I really &

truly hate my fucking life to a degree I can't convey anymore. I'm a fucking

burden on everyone and a fucking toy for doctors to use for some sick idea of

humor, or one hell of a stress test. I can't do much that I enjoy anymore and my

life is filled with more physical pain than I ever dreamed possible. I have an

insurance company that is trying to bankrupt me but offering no coverage in my

area and unless the State Attorney General can help I'm going to be in another

fucking hole I didn't ask for. I need a roof on my house but can't even think of

doing it due to these insurance fuckers.

Adios, Kirk