Abby and all

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the cyber hugs Abby! There's nothing in this world like the sure

knowledge that someone out there truly understands the enormity of the pain this

bastard disease brings to sufferers and carers.

This group is the best!

I fully appreciate what you're saying about your sister.

I have a go-getter, highly artistic, talented, hyper-active younger sister.

There's 11 years between us .... and no other siblings in-between. She's petite,

fashion guru, stylish .... basically everything I'm not! She has a trendy job

designing textiles, travelling all over enjoys being 'Mrs Limelight' so when

this whole catastrophe started it dad turned to me. I just assumed

responsibility - I didn't work, I could make the time, I had the skills ... etc.

I managed everything and never really thought to involve much. She kind of

'allowed' me to get on with it.

I used to wonder how she managed to 'shut it out' and carry on with her

schedules - she only had him stay with her for 3 nights and she simply couldn't

cope.

After his death I sorted probate and handled the sale of the house. During this

time there arose a difference of opinion over the price we'd accept for the

property. I'm basically useless with money - no ruthless streak - and would have

settled for less. I think part of it was my exhaustion and wanting just to get

it all sorted.

Anyway I had to consult with my sister over an offer and she was flitting around

London on a business deal ....

I guess she was stressed and I was burnt out.... suddenly she let fly at me with

a tirade of abuse and accusations!

It was astounding. She accused me of being too easy going, ambitionless, a door

mat, a walk over ... she was furious that I'd assumed so much and never really

involved her or consulted with her... she felt shut out...

gosh! It was shocking. I had no idea she felt that way!

She said I was weak and spineless ... I could barely believe it. I just cried

and said I'd be happy to hand it all over to her. I also remember saying that I

wouldn't respond for fear of saying things I'd regret. For once in my life I

kept my mouth shut!! The next day she was all apologies and it's not mentioned

at all.

BUT I guess I'm just appreciating that we are often so involved on the front

line we forget that those around us like siblings and children are seeing a

slightly different picture. It is VERY hard to manage extended family under the

strain of being principal carer.

So - don't feel bad if you get exasperated, uptight, frustrated with other

family members. Just come here and have a good old moan!!!!

There's nothing better than a good old spit and swearing session to get it off

your chest!

Cyber hugs back

Sally xx