Coyote

[Guest guest]

Hi Coyote,

I'm feeling it for you. Don't worry about this not being LBD related but it

is because you've got to deal with your brother and the issue of LBD which

he doesn't even want to acknowledge let alone what he did for you.

I think you are right to stay away. You cannot get someone to understand

the harm they have done when they can't even admit that they were

responsible for it. Burns me up and I don't even know him. Siblings are

hard to deal with and LBD seems to bring out the worst in some of them. I,

too, am feeling major frustration with my siblings right now and am running

on empty trying to be all things to all people.

Sending you strength.

Courage

Coyote: Re: Coyote: Re: September 11

>Hi Josie....

>Thanks for your different perspective on the situation, but I gotta

>tell ya, he's been a jerk WAAAAY longer than he has been a soldier.

>>From the time I was 2 or 3, he derived extreme joy from hurting me

>(pinching, punching, slapping, karate kicking), upsetting (spitting,

>chewing up food and showing me,squealing on me for things I didnt

>even do then laughing when I got in trouble), and molesting me when

>I got a little older and would do anything for his approval or just

>5 minutes where he would be nice to me (self explanatory). When I

>confronted him about these situations he said it was a serious thing

>to lie about these kinds of things and tried to insist that I call

>the police, knowing how hard it would be for me to " proove "

>something that happened back then.

>I am kind of hurt that when I was a kid and I cried out to my

>mother, she always yelled at me " stay away from your brother! " as if

>it was MY fault. I am also hurt that when I told her he was

>molesting me, she said " oh my God, dont ever tell your father, he'll

>kill him! " . And now, as an adult, she knows I cant stand him, but

>who has to run over every time she gets a voice email from him to

>set up the program to play the voice??? I say nothing, I just go,

>even when she calls at 9 pm to excited tell me she got another email

>from him. I understand not taking sides over most things but this is

>extreme, I think. I am constantly on the verge of tears and pretty

>much losing it. So, no I dont believe he will come home from

>Afghanistan and six months later we will all live happily ever after.

>By the way, he doesnt even KNOW my Dad has LBD. When I told him my

>Dad had alzheimers he was really pissed off, said it was normal, he

>was just getting old and forgettful, and he absolutely hates me for

>having Dad's driving assessed.

>OK, now I'm really going off here. Sorry guys, this has nothing to

>do with LBD and I feel bad...but...I'm nearly losing it here.

>-Coyote

>

>> Dear Coyote:

>>

>> I am sorry to hear about your brother's attitude. He is in a

>whole different

>> world. How long has it been that he has been around your dad? He

>has no

>> idea of what is going on. He is judging from a point of view that

>no longer

>> applies. Does he have any idea what this disease is? Has he read

>up on it? If

>> he were present with your dad, he would know what is going on and

>what is

>> needed to do to keep the family going. He is judging out of

>complete ignorance.

>> How can you explain to anyone how this disease affects the

>patient? You are

>> in a situation that cannot be easily fixed and I feel really bad

>about it.

>>

>> Your mother is also his mother. You know that you cannot stop

>loving your

>> child. The only thing that you can do is suffer about their

>problems. In my

>> case, my mom would not take sides, although she may have a very

>strong opinion

>> of what is going on. Your mom may not want to instigate more hard

>feelings, or

>> may be trying to make you see the good sides of your brother. He

>is in a

>> situation in which he is just trying to stay alive, in order to do

>this, he has

>> to use extreme aggression. I think he does not know hot to

>modulate his

>> aggression anymore, and he will need some time away from his

>present situation to do

>> so. Please do not take his attacks personally, at this point he

>may be very

>> confused about who the enemy is. I am not trying to excuse him.

>I just don't

>> want you to pay attention to someone that is really talking out of

>turn. The

>> teacher in me! LOL!

>>

>> I think you are doing a great job with your parents and your own

>family!

>> There will be more difficult times to come and getting all upset

>about this

>> situation will only make things worse.

>>

>> Thake care of yourself. You have my support. Hugs,

>>

>> Josie

>>

>>

>>