Re: sara

[Guest guest]

I don't

> know what she will do and I don't know how bad it's

> going to hurt when she does it. I do know she will do

> something and I know it will be big.

Hi List.

I have been watching a while, and gathering some insight for my

situation. I have a wonderful stepdaughter who is in the situation

described above. My DH is the residential parent, and we are in

custody battle after 10 yrs of letting the BPDEX have her unbridled

way.

The fear that comes with the statement above is beyond explination. I

have seen her nada take revenge over and over - then promise the

moon - only never to come through. And in the end - we, the family

that gives her love and security, and a sense of her own well being,

is blamed for every wrong in her life --twisted expertly by Nada. She

is an expert of squeezing out any info that can be twisted - so SD is

afraid to say anything because it comes back to bite her. She is in

counseling to continue to learn how to deal with a BPD parent - and

is setting firm limits, at age 10, with her mother.

example-on telephone: NADA " what else?! you havent called. Do they

not let you use the phone? " SD: [slowley} " noooo, Mom. I was thinking

of calling you. "

NADA: " Lets see... [rattles off how many times she " tried " to call,

but didnt get through-and didnt leave msg.] You went to the

counselor's? What did you talk about? "

sd " I dont have to talk about it to you. Its private "

NADA: " Oh. You're talking about me then. [pause-*sigh*]

[proceds to ask another 6 times what she talked about.]

sd: " I said I dont have to talk to you about it. I gotta go. "

NADA then flies off the end of the earth-sd hangs up and dosent want

to talk to her the rest of the week.

I guess my point is that in reading this list, we hope to gain some

insight on what to do and NOT to do. So at least she has

a " safe " place to be while she is with us. Any insight is welcome.

--rubia

[Guest guest]

Hi Rubia,

We have an active list for NonBP parents (and step-parents) who are

co-parenting with a BP. To join that list go to:

http://www.yahoogroups.com/group/WTOparenting

For the custody battle, you'll need a successful BPD-wise lawyer with a

successful track record. If you'd like recommendations, write to me

offlist at:

psyprof@...

And, there's 3-CD custody set available on the BPD Central website that

should help. Its called " You're My World: A Non-BP's Guide to Custody "

and it contains the how-to information needed (in the US) to gain

custody from a BP spouse for the children's best interests.

- Edith

Moderator / WelcomeToOz Family of NonBP Email Support Groups

Rubia wrote:

> I don't

> > know what she will do and I don't know how bad it's

> > going to hurt when she does it. I do know she will do

> > something and I know it will be big.

>

> Hi List.

> I have been watching a while, and gathering some insight for my

> situation. I have a wonderful stepdaughter who is in the situation

> described above. My DH is the residential parent, and we are in

> custody battle after 10 yrs of letting the BPDEX have her unbridled

> way.

>

> The fear that comes with the statement above is beyond explination. I

> have seen her nada take revenge over and over - then promise the

> moon - only never to come through. And in the end - we, the family

> that gives her love and security, and a sense of her own well being,

> is blamed for every wrong in her life --twisted expertly by Nada. She

> is an expert of squeezing out any info that can be twisted - so SD is

> afraid to say anything because it comes back to bite her. She is in

> counseling to continue to learn how to deal with a BPD parent - and

> is setting firm limits, at age 10, with her mother.

>

> example-on telephone: NADA " what else?! you havent called. Do they

> not let you use the phone? " SD: [slowley} " noooo, Mom. I was thinking

> of calling you. "

> NADA: " Lets see... [rattles off how many times she " tried " to call,

> but didnt get through-and didnt leave msg.] You went to the

> counselor's? What did you talk about? "

> sd " I dont have to talk about it to you. Its private "

> NADA: " Oh. You're talking about me then. [pause-*sigh*]

> [proceds to ask another 6 times what she talked about.]

> sd: " I said I dont have to talk to you about it. I gotta go. "

> NADA then flies off the end of the earth-sd hangs up and dosent want

> to talk to her the rest of the week.

>

> I guess my point is that in reading this list, we hope to gain some

> insight on what to do and NOT to do. So at least she has

> a " safe " place to be while she is with us. Any insight is welcome.

>

> --rubia

>

> To get off the list, send a blank message to

ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & amp; concerns to

ModOasis-owner . & quot;Stop Walking on Eggshells, & quot; a primer

for non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of

contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com

>

>

>

>