Guest guest Posted June 1, 2003 Report Share Posted June 1, 2003 Simon, I just learned about BPD a few weeks ago and can relate to your experience. I made excuses for my nada as well and would plead with my brothers to do whatever just to keep her happy. I was the family mediator. Today I realize how right my brothers were to distance themselves and detach from her. It seems whatever our mothers say has a major impact on our lives. No matter how successful I have become my nada can say things to me to bring my self esteem down to an all time low. Distance yourself from her cruelty. I was raised in the Catholic Faith but as an adult I can see how hurtful that religion contributed to my emotional state. I allowed my nada to continue her abuse well into my 20's & 30's. After years of trying to respect my nada while trying to have a relationship with her, I finally realized that my nada would suck the life out of me if I continued to allow her. Nada would call me here in Florida from her home in Penna and ask me to call my brother (who lived 10 miles away from her ) ...............that's how crazy it was. I finally learned how to refuse. She called me a no good daughter, etc. ....etc...... BP's prey on 'good " people and know who they can manipulate. Be Careful. Debbie > > Wow! > I've just found out about BPD about 2 hours now. What does one say? > My mom IS BPD! I was trying to find a book on Amazon about abuse > (thats what I thought it was), and next thing you know I'm cruzing > down different web sites for info on BPD. > I've read a post on another web site with the title " caller Id A must " > and im laughing because its TRUE! > I used to think my mom had a hard life- a single mom of 3.The truth > is she did. But the past few years have been brutle on me. > My older sister and and older brother both married have not lived at > home for years now so it was just me and her. And thats when my > troubles became worse. > When my sister moved out, as my mom told her to as a way for her to > be more adult like, she screamed at her for days (and years) after > she did move out. Why? for moving out. What is that? > Over the years things have gotten worse. I simply cannot be in the > same room any more with her without the weight of world being on my > shoulders. My ex used to say that I would tense up. I cannot share > things with her when she doesnt like anything I do with my life and > feels the need to tell me so. She even told my ex-girlfriend to > break up with me (because I am such an " awful person " ) and then after > I did break up with her (which I intiated in the end for other > reasons) my mom screamed at me for breaking up! > As my sister says " you cant win " . > My brother doesnt live on the same country as my mom does so they > have very limited contact. My sister has stopped speaking to mom and > my mom has stopped speaking to my sister (and get this its my fault > since I tried to make peace between the 2 of them my mom resents me > for doing so) Though sometimes she comes over to their place > uninvited, my sister treats her with a coldly but respectfully and > does not allow her to be to open with my mom less she gets hurt. My > sister has gotten dealt unfairly from my mom and no longer wants to > put her or her child at my mom's irational outbursts. > Which leaves me. Im on very good terms with all my siblings and I > love them dearly. So my mom tends to use me as the middle person to > reach the other siblings. Which puts me at a bad place. > I am a good person. I'm also a very religious person. SO respecting a > parent is up there with me. In which case I have very little > breathing room with my mom. I need to treat with her respect and I > must honour her as well. Even if she is difficult to deal with. > > I do love my mom regardless of the fact that I can barely get the > strength to speak to her since she is just so irational and is not > willing (or cannot) listen to plain logic. Very frustrating. I know > that this is not her fault.The true essence of my mom- her soul- is a > very kind and gentile person. I know that her behaviour if it was > something she could control she would. > > So what now? My mom does a Psychiatrist though there have been no > positive results from that. I dont think I have any legal rights to > ask him how my mom is doing. > The thing I am most scared of is 1) Scars from the whole thing with > my mom that will be left on me for the rest of my life Having BPD > myself from my mom...dont we get most of our behaviour patterns from > our parents? c) dealing with my mom in a respectful manner while she > tells me things about me that destroy my self-worth. > any help is better than no help > Thanks > Simon > > > > > > To get off the list, send a blank message to > ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & amp; concerns to ModOasis-owner . & > quot;Stop Walking on Eggshells, & quot; a primer for non-BPs can be ordered via > 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of contents, see > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2003 Report Share Posted June 1, 2003 Hi Simon, In answer to your question about having BPD yourself, you don't. If you did you wouldn't have asked these questions. As to scars being left on you for the rest of life, if you are like me you are probably stuck with them, but you can do things to learn to live with them. Maybe somebody else can help you more with that question. Regards, Dan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2003 Report Share Posted June 1, 2003 This is my life. I used to try to get my brothers and sisters to do whatever to keep my nada happy. I felt so " sorry " for her. My poor waif nada....yea right! If they didn't make her happy I would catch hell for months. I was talking to my nada awhile back. She was standing up for someone who had done something wrong. I felt they should take responsibility for their actions. Her comment back was, " Yea, but you're a supervisor. I already decided I could never work for you. " I was raised a Catholic also. Spent many years taking my kids to church, teaching rel ed., but I see how the Catholic religion contributed to my mindset that I should accept my nada's treatment of me. I was just talking to my sister. We have a very close relationship now that we don't allow our nada to pit each of us against the other. Nada called her yesterday and gave her a guilt trip. I told her nada doesn't do that to me anymore, because I'm honest with her and she doesn't always like what I say. I'm not her puppet anymore. They are experts at using FOG (fear, obligation, and guilt). And they know how to manipulate each and everyone of us. ~ Simon, I just learned about BPD a few weeks ago and can relate to your experience. I made excuses for my nada as well and would plead with my brothers to do whatever just to keep her happy. I was the family mediator. Today I realize how right my brothers were to distance themselves and detach from her. It seems whatever our mothers say has a major impact on our lives. No matter how successful I have become my nada can say things to me to bring my self esteem down to an all time low. Distance yourself from her cruelty. I was raised in the Catholic Faith but as an adult I can see how hurtful that religion contributed to my emotional state. I allowed my nada to continue her abuse well into my 20's & 30's. After years of trying to respect my nada while trying to have a relationship with her, I finally realized that my nada would suck the life out of me if I continued to allow her. Nada would call me here in Florida from her home in Penna and ask me to call my brother (who lived 10 miles away from her ) ...............that's how crazy it was. I finally learned how to refuse. She called me a no good daughter, etc. ...etc...... BP's prey on 'good " people and know who they can manipulate. Be Careful. Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2003 Report Share Posted June 1, 2003 Hi Simon! The following paragraph said it all! The package is wrapped in beautiful gift wrapping, but inside (for ONLY the immediate family to see behind closed doors) is an ogre of gigantic proportions who wrecks havoc with her family and children, the proportions of which are so horrendous, no one on the outside, not even FOO (family of origin) can see it. And worse, no one is willing to at least remove the gift wrapping and see for themselves. In the meantime, the FOG (fear, obligation, guilt) gets so thick, we ignore the ogre inside because the wrapping is so beautiful. Welcome to the list! We know and understand EXACTLY what's happening. Keep posting, because you'll find lots of support and validation here! SmileS! Carol submalst wrote: > I do love my mom regardless of the fact that I can barely get the > strength to speak to her since she is just so irational and is not > willing (or cannot) listen to plain logic. Very frustrating. I know > that this is not her fault.The true essence of my mom- her soul- is a > very kind and gentile person. I know that her behaviour if it was > something she could control she would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2003 Report Share Posted June 1, 2003 See my comments inserted. > I've read a post on another web site with the title " caller Id A must " > and im laughing because its TRUE! *************************************** Me and all my siblings have caller ID. We use it too! *************************************** > I used to think my mom had a hard life- a single mom of 3.The truth > is she did. But the past few years have been brutle on me. > My older sister and and older brother both married have not lived at > home for years now so it was just me and her. And thats when my > troubles became worse. > When my sister moved out, as my mom told her to as a way for her to > be more adult like, she screamed at her for days (and years) after > she did move out. Why? for moving out. What is that? > Over the years things have gotten worse. I simply cannot be in the > same room any more with her without the weight of world being on my > shoulders. My ex used to say that I would tense up. ************************************************ I used to feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I experienced a major depression because I was trying to make my nada happy. She is so needy. And I've learned I can't give her what she needs to be happy. She has a very low self-esteem and It has to come from inside. ************************************************ I cannot share > things with her when she doesnt like anything I do with my life and > feels the need to tell me so. She even told my ex-girlfriend to > break up with me (because I am such an " awful person " ) and then after > I did break up with her (which I intiated in the end for other > reasons) my mom screamed at me for breaking up! > As my sister says " you cant win " . > My brother doesnt live on the same country as my mom does so they > have very limited contact. My sister has stopped speaking to mom and > my mom has stopped speaking to my sister (and get this its my fault > since I tried to make peace between the 2 of them my mom resents me > for doing so) Though sometimes she comes over to their place > uninvited, my sister treats her with a coldly but respectfully and > does not allow her to be to open with my mom less she gets hurt. My > sister has gotten dealt unfairly from my mom and no longer wants to > put her or her child at my mom's irational outbursts. > Which leaves me. Im on very good terms with all my siblings and I > love them dearly. So my mom tends to use me as the middle person to > reach the other siblings. Which puts me at a bad place. ************************************ Most BPs have a very poor self-image. They destroy a persons self esteem who is in a relationship with them. This helps them feel better about themselves. They aren't the only bad person. This is called projection. They see things in black and white. People are either good or bad. They are either good or bad. It sounds like you siblings have learned that they are important enough to take care of themselves. Your nada has fostered your low self-esteem to keep you attached to her. She's afraid of being abandoned so she will do anything, even destroy you to avoid the abandonment. ************************************* > I am a good person. I'm also a very religious person. SO respecting a > parent is up there with me. In which case I have very little > breathing room with my mom. I need to treat with her respect and I > must honour her as well. Even if she is difficult to deal with. ************************************** > This is a hard one to deal with. I feel I'm a religious person. I've had it explained to me that yes, we should honour and respect our parents, but there is a point when we must take care of ourself. We are obligated to honour and respect ourselves. ********************************************************** > I do love my mom regardless of the fact that I can barely get the > strength to speak to her since she is just so irational and is not > willing (or cannot) listen to plain logic. Very frustrating. I know > that this is not her fault.The true essence of my mom- her soul- is a > very kind and gentile person. I know that her behaviour if it was > something she could control she would. **************************************** I don't believe it is not their fault. As my nada has had to accept that I will not tolerate her behavior, she has stopped the behavior that I won't tolerate. This tells me they can control their behavior. A BPs actions are based on fear. In many ways I think my nada is a very accepting person, and when it doesn't affect her she can be very kind. But when things affect her, it's her fear that controls her actions. **************************************** > > So what now? My mom does a Psychiatrist though there have been no > positive results from that. I dont think I have any legal rights to > ask him how my mom is doing. ************************************ My nada does not stay with a psychiatrist she can't manipulate. For this reason therapy very seldom helps her. ******************************************************** > The thing I am most scared of is 1) Scars from the whole thing with > my mom that will be left on me for the rest of my life Having BPD > myself from my mom...dont we get most of our behaviour patterns from > our parents? c) dealing with my mom in a respectful manner while she > tells me things about me that destroy my self-worth. > any help is better than no help > Thanks > Simon >**************************************** We all have scars and behavioural patterns from our BP parent. We call them fleas. Everyone here is working on theirs. I think it's very respectful to say this hurts my feelings and end the conversation. Books that most of us have read are SWOE, Stop Walking on Eggshells and UBM, Understanding the Borderline Mother. I don't know if they are at libraries. I bought mine so I could write in it and highlight specific passages. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2003 Report Share Posted June 1, 2003 Dear Simon, First of all...welcome!! Everything you describe sounds typical of a BPD mother. An excellent book on the subject is " Understanding the Borderline Mother " by Lawson. The only way to describe the way I felt after reading the book was a mixture of elation and terror. Elated that I finally had a explanation for the hell I went through and terror at the hell I went through. But read it...it is worth it. I would like to recommend another posting sight for you on Yahoo. It is called NonBP - christian. I too am religious and I found the site helpful to me. I wanted to know why God gave me this lady...and many members helped me with this question. Again, welcome!! Read and post...it helps. Elyse > Wow! > I've just found out about BPD about 2 hours now. What does one say? > My mom IS BPD! I was trying to find a book on Amazon about abuse > (thats what I thought it was), and next thing you know I'm cruzing > down different web sites for info on BPD. > I've read a post on another web site with the title " caller Id A must " > and im laughing because its TRUE! > I used to think my mom had a hard life- a single mom of 3.The truth > is she did. But the past few years have been brutle on me. > My older sister and and older brother both married have not lived at > home for years now so it was just me and her. And thats when my > troubles became worse. > When my sister moved out, as my mom told her to as a way for her to > be more adult like, she screamed at her for days (and years) after > she did move out. Why? for moving out. What is that? > Over the years things have gotten worse. I simply cannot be in the > same room any more with her without the weight of world being on my > shoulders. My ex used to say that I would tense up. I cannot share > things with her when she doesnt like anything I do with my life and > feels the need to tell me so. She even told my ex-girlfriend to > break up with me (because I am such an " awful person " ) and then after > I did break up with her (which I intiated in the end for other > reasons) my mom screamed at me for breaking up! > As my sister says " you cant win " . > My brother doesnt live on the same country as my mom does so they > have very limited contact. My sister has stopped speaking to mom and > my mom has stopped speaking to my sister (and get this its my fault > since I tried to make peace between the 2 of them my mom resents me > for doing so) Though sometimes she comes over to their place > uninvited, my sister treats her with a coldly but respectfully and > does not allow her to be to open with my mom less she gets hurt. My > sister has gotten dealt unfairly from my mom and no longer wants to > put her or her child at my mom's irational outbursts. > Which leaves me. Im on very good terms with all my siblings and I > love them dearly. So my mom tends to use me as the middle person to > reach the other siblings. Which puts me at a bad place. > I am a good person. I'm also a very religious person. SO respecting a > parent is up there with me. In which case I have very little > breathing room with my mom. I need to treat with her respect and I > must honour her as well. Even if she is difficult to deal with. > > I do love my mom regardless of the fact that I can barely get the > strength to speak to her since she is just so irational and is not > willing (or cannot) listen to plain logic. Very frustrating. I know > that this is not her fault.The true essence of my mom- her soul- is a > very kind and gentile person. I know that her behaviour if it was > something she could control she would. > > So what now? My mom does a Psychiatrist though there have been no > positive results from that. I dont think I have any legal rights to > ask him how my mom is doing. > The thing I am most scared of is 1) Scars from the whole thing with > my mom that will be left on me for the rest of my life Having BPD > myself from my mom...dont we get most of our behaviour patterns from > our parents? c) dealing with my mom in a respectful manner while she > tells me things about me that destroy my self-worth. > any help is better than no help > Thanks > Simon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2003 Report Share Posted June 1, 2003 Hi Simon! I think you're doing great, just posting to this list and listening to all of our experiences. It's a lot to assimilate all at once, so let it settle in for awhile, and then see how you feel about it. Some 20 years ago, when things first started getting slightly " off " with mother, it was easy to brush it aside. But, as the years rolled by, and she got more unreasonable and unbearable (1990s), the more I tried to fix things. I was convinced THEN that ALL of her problems were alcohol related, because I didn't know about BPD. But the more I did, the more she demanded, and the less she appreciated. Still, I kept at it. What loving caring daughter wouldn't? After all, I would be old some day, and wouldn't I want to be treated decently and not thrown to the wolves? And I certainly didn't want to set the wrong example for my own kids, who one day would be burdened with my own elderly care. And the Bible says, " Honor thy mother and thy father " . I was stuck for the duration, no matter what!!! And so I proceeded....... determined to transform myself into the perfect caregiver (obviously I'd been a miserable failure so far). The situation with mother kept getting worse, despite my best efforts at futility. My immediate family got sick of listening to my woes. My health began to shows cracks around the edges (I blamed it on normal aging). Friends rolled their eyes whenever I got near the dreaded topic. One day, clear out of the blue, mother falsely accused me of credit card fraud, and nothing I said mattered. In her mind I was guilty as charged, period! It got even nuttier, until one day (1999) we had a huge blowup! I did what? Never had I spoken to mother like I did that day. She was still talking to me afterwards, but a month later she was accusing me of something else I hadn't done, involving her income taxes. After much soul searching, I decided to write her a letter, because talking never did any good. I wrote a brief letter stating that I deserved to be spoken to with dignity and respect, that hanging up the phone was rude, and that I'd no longer do her taxes for her. I expected that to wake her up. Wrong! Her response was no response, and I haven't set eyes on her since the blowup. Plenty has happened since, but it's too long of a story to go into details here. Briefly, I learned that long before the blowup, she'd been waging a distortion campaign (spreading lies about me to family and friends to engage their support against me). She later contacted my husband at work and accused me of embezzling $12,000 from her account (I didn't even know where she banked!). She didn't tell me and my immediate family about her brother's death. She disowned and disinherited me. In the middle of all this insanity, I discovered BPD (2 years ago), and I finally began to understand what had been going on. Not just then, but 20 years ago, and even further back than that. But it didn't fall into place over night. Slowly, piece by piece, the puzzle began to form a picture that I'd refused to see all my life. The biggest hurdle I had to get over was " guilt " driven by fear of God, society's expectations, and familial obligations. Liberation Day came when I finally GOT the concept that no one, not even my mother, has the right to treat me with disrespect and lack of dignity. But, as long as I allowed her to do it (turned the cheek), she kept at me. When I wrote that note, I expected her to respond with an apology, but all I got was no response at all. She didn't get it! And to this day she still hasn't. My 81 year old mother is on her death bed as I write this, and so far she hasn't asked to see or speak to me. I will give her the only thing I have left to give her - the gift of not disturbing her peace of mind by forcing my presence on her, unless she wants it. I hope she doesn't take all her bitternesses and resentments with the grave with her, but I can't change what she chooses to do. I accept that. The moral of the story is this - I am so grateful mother and I became estranged. That note I wrote triggered an unbelievable and unexpected backlash that crushed my heart and soul, but I survived to tell the story. If I'd known then what I know now, I would have done it a lot sooner. And there's no way I would put mother's feelings over my own daughter, whom mother emotionally abused in the 80s when she was a little girl (unknown to me then). Mother is well taken care of at a very upscale retirement home into which she placed herself 2 years ago with what remaining money she had. God not only provided a way out for me, but He took care of her as well, because I no longer could. I'm not recommending any course of action. I just hope I was able to convey how damaging and hopeless things had become over the years, despite all my best efforts. I thought I could make her happy if I was more patient, more tolerant, more loving, more caring, more everything. I was so wrong. It was a tough lesson learned through the College of Hard Knocks. SmileS! Carol Simon <submalst> wrote: > Nice to meet all of you and thanks for taking the time to respond to > my post. I really do appreciate it. > Debbie your situation sounds like mine. The family peacemaker. The > one who keeps it all together. Im not sure how I would feel removing > my single mother from my life. Im still young, single, and I depend > on her for alot of things and for better or for worse she depends on > me for various things. > My religious beliefs are strong and are not something I can turn on > and off when I feel like it regardless of the situation I am in. It > has nothing to do with the religion I am in or with society. > That's > just what I believe. > Putting that aside I have spoken with someone (a religious > figurehead..) about the situation and has told me to stop trying to > be the " peacemaker " in the the family regardless of my desire to have > my family happy and whole. > Yes I do believe- no- actually I *know* my mom does suck the life > from me - (as Debbie put it). She went balistic with me once when > she claimed I didnt speak to her enough (I wonder why?). I informed > her that the previous week I did speak with her plenty- 6 times each > on one day during the week. She called me a liar and terriable person > and other nasty things. Oh well. And then she said she would not > speak to me anymore because Im such an awful person. That lasted 12 > hours.And yes she does manipulate me. I know she does. > Dan -scars....what kind of scars? Your message was sort've cryptic. > Problems with my children? I have heard that people may have intimacy > issues…. > Doug- It unfortunate that we could not share something more positive > in common. I am sorry to hear about your brother. Its sounds like > you have had it rough (single parent, BPD, loss of brother). It also > seems like you have dealt with and are in the process of overcoming a > lot of issues and I admire that. That being said I would deeply > appreciate any info you have regarding your situation (single mom). > My mom is almost now 60 and she has difficulty walking. Your comment > about your friends is true- most of my friends who I try to discuss > the issue with think Im looney because they think my mom is so nice > and how could I ever say that she does x,y, and z? > Yes I find that very difficult too. > To those who have responded…. > I dont excuse her behavior but I dont know if I can actually blame > her for it either. Again I dont know much about this stuff so please > excuse me if I seem like I dont know what I am talking about but it > DOESN'T seem like it is something that they woke up one morning and > said " Hey I think im going to go BP from now on to make my children's > life hell " . > If this is an illness or a mental disorder do we have the right to > blame them for the way they are? Could they have controlled this > before the situation got worse? (Im just asking I am no way defending > anyone's behavior). > Though people have hinted to baggage and scars Im not sure I know > what they mean. Clarification on anyones personal dealings with > certain issues with be very helpful. > I guess my biggest hang-up is separation. It seems to be the only > solution most people seem to put forward (and the one that probably > works). Im not sure if I could live with myself If I did such a > thing. Regardless of my mother's behaviors she is still a human > being > (and of course we are too and and deserve to be treated as such). > True I would like for her to treat me as a human being- as a mother > with more love and compassion towards her devoted son. But life has > dealt me a different set of cards. And I don't know if walking > away > is something I could do. > There is a time in life in which we all grow old and die. I know (and > everyone else knows) that a person has a lot more issues and scars to > overcome when a parent dies and the child and parent were not close > and/or had major issues/disagreements/things left unsaid or not done > between the two of them. There s a hole in a person's hearts > because > things didn't work and now can never work out and often lead to > feelings of guilt. This worries me as well. Yes separation seems like > the right thing to do (and for a person like myself who was not > living in the same continent and could control the amount of > communication for the past year as a result, I agree that I was 10x > happier person in all areas of my life as a result of the > separation). I need resolution. I tired of being a survivor. I always > felt that there were no solutions, only emotional patches to help get > from one personal crisis to the next. Im not sure if separation is a > patch or a solution. > Either way I am glad I was on Amazon looking for books on how to deal > with my Mom. (thanks for the recommendations….quite pricey those > books…don't we have enough problems to deal with besides > shelling out > big bucks for books?). > Any help I can gather from all of you would be wonderful. I deeply > appreciate everyone who has responded and opened their own hearts and > shared their words and experience with me. 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Guest guest Posted June 2, 2003 Report Share Posted June 2, 2003 Dear Doug,' My Rabbi told me that my obligation to nada is to make sure she doesn't live in the street or starve. I don't have to love her. to fulfill my pledge to " honor my mother and father " I am a good mother to my own children. pay it forward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 7, 2006 Report Share Posted September 7, 2006 Camerin- Welcome to the group, I am glad you found us. I hope you will find the answers to your questions and know that we are all here for you to rant, rave or whatever we understand the pain, the inconvenience and the depression of this disease. Don't let it get the best of you. What meds did the docs put you on when you were first diagnosed? How long were you in remission for? Take care and lean on us anytime. Love and Support always, Keri in CA New Hi All I've been reading messages for a few days and thought I should post a message. I am new to the board. And relatively new to Stills. I was diagnosed in Feb 2004 by a Rheumatologist who made the diagnosis my first visit. After I was hospitalized a few months later, it seemed none of the docs could quite agree on/figure out exactly what I had. I had all the typical symptoms when sick the first time, high fevers (thought I had the flu), body aches, and then the rash (mine wasn't like the pics I've seen though) and finally the joint pain. Not too much joing swelling, but the pain was unbearable.. .wrists, ankles and knees and sometimes hips and once my shoulder. Anyway, after about 8 months of illness I went into remission. Of course that's when I decided I never had the disease to begin with because I suddenly felt like my old self. So, for the last 18 months I've been well. Until this summer and I started having some of the same symptoms that hovered after my acute hospitalization. Myalgias, feeling feverish but not really having a fever, losing my hair, fatigue. Mostly the myalgias though and induced by cold, humidity, too much walking. I haven't been working so I've been able to sleep when I need to which I have a suspicion has kept me from a full-out flare. Anyway, I have moved since I was diagnosed and don't even have an established regular doc, much less a Rheumatologist. So, I've been putting it off for months now hoping it'll go away, which it hasn't. Had my creatinine checked (kidney function) because when I was hospitalized I was in kidney failure (probably as a result of allergic reaction to Naprosyn vs. vasculitis?? ??). Kidney's seem ok, but my blood pressure is back up and uncontrolled. Which brings me to ask, is there a recommended drug for hyptertension and Stills? So, I'm in the process of trying to understand if I really have this disease and not wanting to admit that the stories are way too familiar. Which is what brings me here. I'm trying to learn more and feeling down about it. Though, if these latest symptoms are the worst it ever gets again, I should be thankful after reading what others are going through. I am thankful, but remember all to well how my life was so changed when I was in constant pain. I suddenly felt old and debilitated and very depressed. I am trying to avoid that situation again. Well, sorry to ramble. Hi to all and my thoughts are with you all in your pain. Camerin ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ Check the weather nationwide with MSN Search: Try it now! http://search. msn.com/results. aspx?q=weather & FORM=WLMTAG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 Hi again Kerilyn I am really glad I found this group too! Thank you for the welcome. It seems that no matter how much family loves you, they just don't understand. For me it's the fatigue and myalgias that are so vague. My family can't " see " anything wrong. I don't have any deformities, swelling, redness, etc so to say " I don't feel well " is something they can't grasp. When I was first diagnosed I thought I had the flu...I think I had high fevers, rash, myalgias and then severe joint pain for about a week to 10 days before I even saw a doc. I finally went in because my boss made me and was referred right away to a rheumatologist. Before I got to the rheumatologist, he prescribed Naprosyn which took away all of my pain. I was in heaven!! I went back to work after a few weeks, but 2 months later had a major something or other (allergic reaction, vasculitis??) that put me into kidney failure. So the Naprosyn was stopped as well as all other NSAIDS. By then, my joint pain was under control, but after I got out of the hospital I had such severe myalgias and fatigue I couldn't get out of bed. Nothing helped. One rheumatologist wanted to start me on methotrexate, but I found one I liked better at the University of Michigan who started me on Salicylates. I'm not sure if those helped....it takes a while I guess. But after a few weeks to a month or 2 I was completely relieved! Like I'd never been sick. Had some docs wondering if it was just a bad virus (had a parvovirus titre checked which was high). Until this summer I've felt pretty good (so remission for 18 months). This summer is back to some of the old symptoms, but no where near as bad as before. Enough though to affect my day to day life and to remind me that maybe it wasn't just a virus after all. Not sure what to do.....ha besides find a new rheumatologist which I've been avoiding. Thanks for your nice email. What about you? What meds are you on besides prednisone? How were you diagnosed? How long have you had Stills? Camerin > >Reply-To: Stillsdisease >To: Stillsdisease >Subject: Re: New >Date: Thu, 7 Sep 2006 22:46:33 -0700 (PDT) > >Camerin- >Welcome to the group, I am glad you found us. I hope you will find the >answers to your questions and know that we are all here for you to rant, >rave or whatever we understand the pain, the inconvenience and the >depression of this disease. Don't let it get the best of you. >What meds did the docs put you on when you were first diagnosed? How long >were you in remission for? >Take care and lean on us anytime. >Love and Support always, >Keri in CA > > > New > >Hi All > >I've been reading messages for a few days and thought I should post a >message. I am new to the board. And relatively new to Stills. I was >diagnosed in Feb 2004 by a Rheumatologist who made the diagnosis my first >visit. After I was hospitalized a few months later, it seemed none of the >docs could quite agree on/figure out exactly what I had. I had all the >typical symptoms when sick the first time, high fevers (thought I had the >flu), body aches, and then the rash (mine wasn't like the pics I've seen >though) and finally the joint pain. Not too much joing swelling, but the >pain was unbearable.. .wrists, ankles and knees and sometimes hips and once >my shoulder. Anyway, after about 8 months of illness I went into remission. > >Of course that's when I decided I never had the disease to begin with >because I suddenly felt like my old self. So, for the last 18 months I've >been well. Until this summer and I started having some of the same symptoms >that hovered after my acute hospitalization. Myalgias, feeling feverish but >not really having a fever, losing my hair, fatigue. Mostly the myalgias >though and induced by cold, humidity, too much walking. I haven't been >working so I've been able to sleep when I need to which I have a suspicion >has kept me from a full-out flare. > >Anyway, I have moved since I was diagnosed and don't even have an >established regular doc, much less a Rheumatologist. So, I've been putting >it off for months now hoping it'll go away, which it hasn't. Had my >creatinine checked (kidney function) because when I was hospitalized I was >in kidney failure (probably as a result of allergic reaction to Naprosyn >vs. >vasculitis?? ??). Kidney's seem ok, but my blood pressure is back up and >uncontrolled. Which brings me to ask, is there a recommended drug for >hyptertension and Stills? > >So, I'm in the process of trying to understand if I really have this >disease >and not wanting to admit that the stories are way too familiar. Which is >what brings me here. I'm trying to learn more and feeling down about it. >Though, if these latest symptoms are the worst it ever gets again, I should >be thankful after reading what others are going through. I am thankful, but >remember all to well how my life was so changed when I was in constant >pain. >I suddenly felt old and debilitated and very depressed. I am trying to >avoid that situation again. > >Well, sorry to ramble. Hi to all and my thoughts are with you all in your >pain. > >Camerin > >____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ >Check the weather nationwide with MSN Search: Try it now! >http://search. msn.com/results. aspx?q=weather & FORM=WLMTAG > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 You need to see a nutritional healer. Back a hundred or two years ago they called this kind of herbal healing witchcraft if you wer white or injun medicine but there is a new branch of it coming around now. It is bacally in two forms one used drops and the other uses traditional herbs ina a pellet form of if you live in an area that has a Chinese element you can go that route with traditional Chinese herbs. I was on the drop method a year or so ago but my practisioner didn not have enough experience with persons as damaged as I am. My chiropractor statted doing it a year ago so I am now geting the herb treatment from him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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