Re: Fears

March 16, 2003

Carol,

I can relate to what you said - as much from my observations of my

sister than from myself. I have always tried to maintain a brave

front even when I was terrified.

My sister was terrified of burglars, even though she had a second-

story window. Before going to bed she always looked under the bed

and in the closet for burglars. I jokingly asked her what she would

do if she found one. I realize now that I was cruel, but I didn't

understand that then. Sometimes she woke up with night terrors. She

is still terrified of lots of things - high places, cars, etc.

I used to be afraid of people behind me, but now I am only a little

nervous. Sometimes while getting a haircut it was all I could do to

keep from dissolving in panic. I am 6 foot 4 inches tall so my

height makes lots of people afraid of me. I feel so ashamed of that,

if I am walking down the sidewalk and am going to pass somebody from

behind I cross to the other side of the road so I won't scare them.

Another checkmark on my list of reasons for wishing I were disabled -

on crutches I wouldn't be faster than most people. I would be less

frightening, less ashamed to be me.

Another thing I am afraid of is talking on the telephone. I deal

with it but I hate it. My wife wants me to make calls for her. She

says she doesn't feel comfortable expressing herself in French. To

me that is nonsense, her French is as good as mine and I can say what

I want. The difficulty is knowing what I want to say, and trying to

speak for somebody else is doubly difficult. I have been refusing

this controlling behavior as much as possible, but it causes a lot of

conflict.

When I was into amateur radio I preferred Morse code to voice because

it gave me time to compose my thoughts. The Internet is an ideal

means of communication for me. Written English is my first language,

spoken English is my second. I learned French the same way.

- Dan

March 17, 2003

> Another thing I am afraid of is talking on the telephone. I deal

> with it but I hate it. ...>

> When I was into amateur radio I preferred Morse code to voice

because

> it gave me time to compose my thoughts. The Internet is an ideal

> means of communication for me. Written English is my first

language,

> spoken English is my second. I learned French the same way.

>

> - Dan

Dan, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one! What (if anything) it has

to do with being a KO I don't know, but I too really dislike using

the

phone. I vastly prefer IM'ing and e-mailing. I tell people, " I don't

do phone. " In my line of work, I do have to do interviews by

telephone fairly often, and I always dread them (although, oddly,

once

I get into it they're invariably fine.) To tell you the truth, I

prefer internet communication to most face-to-face conversation,

except with my spouse and kids and others with whom I feel a deep

level of trust and intimacy. I know people, as I'm sure you do, who

love chatting on the phone, and I'm just stymied by them. What do

they

SAY? I often feel I literally don't know what I think about something

until I write about it. Do I think with my fingers?? :-)

Beth

March 18, 2003

> She says she has a terrible fear whenever anyone stands behind her,

> like in waiting lines. She says it's so strong she literally has

> to stand sideways so she can see who's behind her. Also, if she's

> walking down the sidewalk and someone approaches and passes her

> from behind, it's like a knife going through her until they've

> passed her. She's fine with people approaching from the front.

>

I used to do the same thing when standing in line! I would sometimes

be so much to the side that it wasn't uncommon for me to lose my

place, especially when I was in school.

I was always really jumpy, I'm still a little bit, but I used to be

so jumpy that it was something I'd get teased about. I was scared of

everything, all the time, and didn't even know it until one day I

wasn't.

March 19, 2003

That's a good question, really. My childhood was so surreal that I

have no idea what's 'normal' and what's not. I know now that it's not

normal for an 8 year-old girl to have a stomach ulcer from stress,

but I only figured that out from the reactions of friends much later

in life. I know that the intensity and frequency of my nightmares are

not normal, but again, it's only from hearing about the experiences

of others (you mean, not everyone dreams of tidal waves on a nightly

basis?).

The rest of it I'm not sure about. I get startled easily, but don't a

lot of people? Kids have nightmares, sure. Do normal kids

hallicinate? Aren't most people wary around strangers?

I have no idea. I just generally assume that if it interfers with

normal life, it's significant enough to be called 'troublesome'.

> > She says she has a terrible fear whenever anyone stands behind

> > her, like in waiting lines. She says it's so strong she

> > literally has to stand sideways so she can see who's behind her.

> > Also, if she's walking down the sidewalk and someone approaches

> > and passes her from behind, it's like a knife going through her

> > until they've passed her. She's fine with people approaching

from

> > the front.

January 26, 2007

I read in a book that psychologists have theorized that we are only born

with two fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. that means

that every other fear was learned, and even more importantly than that, that

means that every other fear can be unlearned. Which is hard, but not

impossible. May we unlearn some fears through all of our experiences.

In His Strength,

, CA

Please visit my websites:

www.freewebs.com/faithfights

http://Writing.Com/authors/faithfights

Reply-To: Stillsdisease

To: Stillsdisease

Subject: Re: OT need some good thoughts and/or prayers

Date: Thu, 25 Jan 2007 20:07:33 -0000

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that

brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to

pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the

inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be

nothing. Only I will remain.

ny Against Fear

Dune

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January 27, 2007

AMEN KATIE!

Thank you!

I shared this with my oldest daughter who has been struggling with many fears

lately!

God Bless!

Larry B

Re: OT need some good thoughts and/or prayers