Anne and Debbie: Re: Re: End stages question

[Guest guest]

Josie,

thank you for your post. I agree that we definitely all deal cope

differently....I often find what worked one day in how I handle all

this might not work on another etc.

My Dad and your Mom sound similar...I think my Mom has been with us

for this long because he wanted them to keep up with each and every

intervention that they could.

She had another setback over a week ago, her blood sugars when sky

high (she's not a diabetic)...up to 500 or more (I think " normal is

180 or so?) then she got a fever. Lungs were clear, no UTI's (she's

catheterized), blood culture showed an infection in the blood....the

nurse said she was on the verge of septecemia....ie widespread

infection in the blood and since blood is pumped everywhere in the

body this was pretty serious for someone as weak as she was. They

got her on antibiotics, gave her insulin for the blood sugar and the

fever & blood sugar levels are slowly dropping. Whenever her body

is fighting off something major like this, she cannot really be

roused/awakened. It's hard to say if any of this was the cause of

her increased sleeping condition that started over a month ago or

not. The last time I saw her awake during my visit was on her

birthday (Dec 4 ) her eyes were open and she looked at my daughter

(19 mo) and I but there wasn't a lot of recognition in her eyes...I

talked to her like I always do but her expression was almost blank.

each time she enters a new " stage " I think to myself " how can things

get any lower or worse? " ... of course they do unfortunately get

worse and my Dad takes it so hard each time that happens.

hugs all around,

Debbie

> Dear Anne:

>

> Thank you for posting about your Mom. I really simpathyse with

your very

> touching story. Ii hope yu are feeling ok now, although, I know

how we miss our

> LO's, my dad died in August. I was just hoping you could be there

for her

> when she died, and you were, lucky you. Many hugs and prayers for

your

> intentions,

>

> Josie

>

> Dear Debbie:

>

> I am sorry about your mom's progression. My dad also was sleeping

the last 2

> days of his life. He was on Morphine to relieve the pain, I

imagine caused

> by the immobility and atrophy of his muscles.

>

> My dad, as your mom, never wanted to be " dependent " , or even in a

wheel

> chair. Although, while he was mostly with us, I didn't care about

pushing him in

> the wheelchair or any other assistance he needed. He really was

very sure

> about not being in that situation and many times told my mom, my

sister and I to

> not let it happen. The time came in the hospital, when the DRs

told my mom

> that it would be best to take away all medicines except to make

him comfortable,

> and transfer him to hospice care, which could be done in the same

hospital

> room. My mom said she could not " sentence him to death " , she is

very dramatic.

> She did not want to be the one that approved of it, but she was

the one with

> the legal right to do it. I was there with her, my sister was on

vacation. I

> just told her that we all agreed this was the way to do it, and

that it was

> what he wanted. She fell to pieces for a few minutes, but then,

said yes,

> almost through me. It is very difficult, and every family makes

the best desicion

> for themselves, I just wanted you to know how it went with us.

>

> We all cope differently with our pain. I understand that you

couldn't get so

> involved in the group, we are here for everyone, not just those of

us that

> write too much or talk too much! LOL! I wonder how a few of us

would be in a

> real-life group! I find that it is a major outlet for me. I am

so much calmer

> and relaxed when I am able to post as much as I want. I have had

many other

> things to do and cannot give so much time to the group as I used

to, I have

> become more tense and nervous as a result. Yes, I got to the end

of your post.

> If we write so much, it is only fair that we read all that is

posted,

> whenever we have the time. I wish you the endurance you need to

go through these

> difficult times. I pray for you and your family, hugs,

>

> Josie

>

>

>