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You are being silly. You offer the most wonderful support possible. When we

all need a bit of a lift, who comes through and gives us a bit of a laugh? It

is you. And knowing that you are there for all of us and reading what we write,

and thinking about what's written is all the support that is needed.

I want also to meantion your comments about Trace. Am afraid as to how this

might look but there you go. I can fully understand why she wants to spend time

with you. You are a wonderful compassionate person, who goes out of his way to

help others as much as he can. She is understandably envious of the time you

spend doing all you do for the cause. If I were in her position I would be keen

to spend time with you too.

You are truly worthy of all the support you get, and a great asset to the group.

Checking in again

Hi everybody,

I just wanted to let you all know that I'm doing much better after my melt

down earlier this week.

I got home at midnight on Sunday, very tired and depressed. I knew I

wouldn't sleep so after Trace had gone to bed I went and got myself a large

Drambuie. I wanted to have a good cry and let it all out but I just

couldn't. At about 1.30 I wrote to all of you and told you how I felt. That

brought on the tears. I spent half an hour crying until there was a big

soggy patch on the carpet.

I'm still catching up on my emails. I have to say I'm totally shocked that

so many of you responded. Thank you all so much. I'm sure I haven't seen

them all yet.

I have to say a few sorrys though.

I was a bit hard on Trace. When she's tired she can be a bit short tempered

which probably lead to a few harsh words on Sunday. But in general she is

great. She puts up with me and that can't be easy. Her objection to me going

away at the weekend is simply because she wants to be with me. I have

trouble understanding that. If I was her I'd want to get rid of me as much

as possible. But for some reason that I will truly never understand she

seems to want me around.

And I have to say sorry to many of you too. I've read what many of you have

written at your lowest moments. I can clearly remember starting to write to

Abby and to Jan and to others. I'd start and then I'd get stuck. What could

I possibly say to someone that would make things better. If we were in the

same room I'd have cradled you all in my arms and given you a big hug. But I

just couldn't express that in words at the moment that it was important.

I have let many of you down like this and I am so sorry. Especially as so

many of you jumped right in and wrote to me in my hour of need. Please

forgive me. I don't deserve you all.

Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

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,

It is ok to stop saying you are sorry. I can think of nothing you have

to be sorry about. We all do melt downs and you are entitled to yours.

And all the messages means that you are cared about a lot. You weren't

hard on either. Maybe we were.

Now take a deep breath....Hold it... and blow it out as Courage would

say.

Lots of hugs.

Donna

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,

Everything is OK. Don't feel guilty, you have done absolutely

nothing wrong. Sometimes after long periods of stress your body just

forces you to release it and " cleanse " itself by means of crying,

anger (often lashed out at the ones we hold dearest because we know

they are safe and wont abandon us). I get the feeling you have kind

of low self esteem (I may be wrong, I am certainly not a

psychologist!) and think yourself to be worthless and undeserving of

love and affection....and I dont know how to ever convince you that

YOU ARE deserving!! You are truly a good person, full of love and

emotion, sensitive....

In case you havent noticed, the ratio of men to women on this board

is pretty low. Many of the women who have brothers complain about

how their brothers detach themselves from what goes on with their

parents. So I have nothing but respect for you being here, doing the

best you can, fighting the losing battle (sorry that sounds so

negative...but its simply the truth) with the rest of us.

I'm glad you are feeling better.

Love & Hugs, Coyote

In LBDcaregivers , " Hodgson " <james@v...> wrote:

> Hi everybody,

>

> I just wanted to let you all know that I'm doing much better after

my melt

> down earlier this week.

> I got home at midnight on Sunday, very tired and depressed. I knew

I

> wouldn't sleep so after Trace had gone to bed I went and got

myself a large

> Drambuie. I wanted to have a good cry and let it all out but I just

> couldn't. At about 1.30 I wrote to all of you and told you how I

felt. That

> brought on the tears. I spent half an hour crying until there was

a big

> soggy patch on the carpet.

>

> I'm still catching up on my emails. I have to say I'm totally

shocked that

> so many of you responded. Thank you all so much. I'm sure I

haven't seen

> them all yet.

>

> I have to say a few sorrys though.

> I was a bit hard on Trace. When she's tired she can be a bit short

tempered

> which probably lead to a few harsh words on Sunday. But in general

she is

> great. She puts up with me and that can't be easy. Her objection

to me going

> away at the weekend is simply because she wants to be with me. I

have

> trouble understanding that. If I was her I'd want to get rid of me

as much

> as possible. But for some reason that I will truly never

understand she

> seems to want me around.

>

> And I have to say sorry to many of you too. I've read what many of

you have

> written at your lowest moments. I can clearly remember starting to

write to

> Abby and to Jan and to others. I'd start and then I'd get stuck.

What could

> I possibly say to someone that would make things better. If we

were in the

> same room I'd have cradled you all in my arms and given you a big

hug. But I

> just couldn't express that in words at the moment that it was

important.

> I have let many of you down like this and I am so sorry.

Especially as so

> many of you jumped right in and wrote to me in my hour of need.

Please

> forgive me. I don't deserve you all.

>

>

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Also Jim, don't forget that a few of us girls still need to see your " bum "

when you're doing your yoga! lol

Courage

Re: Checking in again

>

>

>You are being silly. You offer the most wonderful support possible. When

we all need a bit of a lift, who comes through and gives us a bit of a

laugh? It is you. And knowing that you are there for all of us and reading

what we write, and thinking about what's written is all the support that is

needed.

>

>I want also to meantion your comments about Trace. Am afraid as to how

this might look but there you go. I can fully understand why she wants to

spend time with you. You are a wonderful compassionate person, who goes out

of his way to help others as much as he can. She is understandably envious

of the time you spend doing all you do for the cause. If I were in her

position I would be keen to spend time with you too.

>

>You are truly worthy of all the support you get, and a great asset to the

group.

>

>

>

>

> Checking in again

>

>

> Hi everybody,

>

> I just wanted to let you all know that I'm doing much better after my

melt

> down earlier this week.

> I got home at midnight on Sunday, very tired and depressed. I knew I

> wouldn't sleep so after Trace had gone to bed I went and got myself a

large

> Drambuie. I wanted to have a good cry and let it all out but I just

> couldn't. At about 1.30 I wrote to all of you and told you how I felt.

That

> brought on the tears. I spent half an hour crying until there was a big

> soggy patch on the carpet.

>

> I'm still catching up on my emails. I have to say I'm totally shocked

that

> so many of you responded. Thank you all so much. I'm sure I haven't seen

> them all yet.

>

> I have to say a few sorrys though.

> I was a bit hard on Trace. When she's tired she can be a bit short

tempered

> which probably lead to a few harsh words on Sunday. But in general she is

> great. She puts up with me and that can't be easy. Her objection to me

going

> away at the weekend is simply because she wants to be with me. I have

> trouble understanding that. If I was her I'd want to get rid of me as

much

> as possible. But for some reason that I will truly never understand she

> seems to want me around.

>

> And I have to say sorry to many of you too. I've read what many of you

have

> written at your lowest moments. I can clearly remember starting to write

to

> Abby and to Jan and to others. I'd start and then I'd get stuck. What

could

> I possibly say to someone that would make things better. If we were in

the

> same room I'd have cradled you all in my arms and given you a big hug.

But I

> just couldn't express that in words at the moment that it was important.

> I have let many of you down like this and I am so sorry. Especially as so

> many of you jumped right in and wrote to me in my hour of need. Please

> forgive me. I don't deserve you all.

>

>

>

>

>

> Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

>

>

>

>

>

>---------------------------------------------------------------------------

---

>

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,

You really dont have to say you are sorry. You were just frustrated and

angry about the disease. I think most of us have been there. And thankfully

you and many others have let us pour out our anger and sorrow.

We need each other and are lucky to have each other.

M

>

>Reply-To: LBDcaregivers

>To: " LBDcaregivers " <LBDcaregivers >

>Subject: Checking in again

>Date: Wed, 4 Feb 2004 20:55:45 -0000

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>19:19:24 -0800

>Received: from [66.218.67.197] by n12.grp.scd.yahoo.com with NNFMP; 05 Feb

>2004 03:18:22 -0000

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>with smtp (Exim 3.22 #25)id 1AoU2J-0004Cu-00for

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>

>Hi everybody,

>

>I just wanted to let you all know that I'm doing much better after my melt

>down earlier this week.

>I got home at midnight on Sunday, very tired and depressed. I knew I

>wouldn't sleep so after Trace had gone to bed I went and got myself a large

>Drambuie. I wanted to have a good cry and let it all out but I just

>couldn't. At about 1.30 I wrote to all of you and told you how I felt. That

>brought on the tears. I spent half an hour crying until there was a big

>soggy patch on the carpet.

>

>I'm still catching up on my emails. I have to say I'm totally shocked that

>so many of you responded. Thank you all so much. I'm sure I haven't seen

>them all yet.

>

>I have to say a few sorrys though.

>I was a bit hard on Trace. When she's tired she can be a bit short tempered

>which probably lead to a few harsh words on Sunday. But in general she is

>great. She puts up with me and that can't be easy. Her objection to me

>going

>away at the weekend is simply because she wants to be with me. I have

>trouble understanding that. If I was her I'd want to get rid of me as much

>as possible. But for some reason that I will truly never understand she

>seems to want me around.

>

>And I have to say sorry to many of you too. I've read what many of you have

>written at your lowest moments. I can clearly remember starting to write to

>Abby and to Jan and to others. I'd start and then I'd get stuck. What could

>I possibly say to someone that would make things better. If we were in the

>same room I'd have cradled you all in my arms and given you a big hug. But

>I

>just couldn't express that in words at the moment that it was important.

>I have let many of you down like this and I am so sorry. Especially as so

>many of you jumped right in and wrote to me in my hour of need. Please

>forgive me. I don't deserve you all.

>

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

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