Re: Rapid decline - Coyote

[Guest guest]

Coyote:

I think my dad can no longer make decisions for himself already.

He's going to get worse I know but he's pretty out of it now.

I'm going to keep insisting on the outside help but my mom (God love

her) has a bit of a martyr complex and thinks only she can help him

and she's committed to doing as he wants. On top of this, my older

sister doesn't think it's as bad as I do (even though in the middle

of the night last night my dad called her by his sister's name

repeatedly...). I just wish everyone knew that as long as we

continue to make excuses for my dad we're not helping. I have always

realized that we were very lucky to have the Aricept helping for as

long as it did....

I hate the idea of going against my father's wishes but the idea that

his wishes are no longer what is safe or rational needs to be

considered.

Abby

[Guest guest]

Hi Coyote:

Yes, my mom is afraid of the changes happening to my dad and her life

and, on some level, I can't say I blame her. When I think that

until late last July, my parents had a very active, busy life it's

easy to see why this is daunting. She hasn't had that much time

getting used to being a caregiver and what she has to live with 24/7

is tough. I know I worry watching my dad get in and out of a chair

but I get to leave to come home to a relatively normal existence.

She's stuck with it. (Don't get me wrong - I don't understand why

she must tell my dad everything but I understand there's no " good "

way to act in these circumstances...)

If you read my message to Sharon you'll already know I did try to

talk to my dad in what was a very lucid moment for him last night.

He thinks he's not ready for that yet but told me he knows he will

need to get help in soon. I'm hoping he moves to the stage where he

realizes he needs it soon and before anything really bad happens.

This entire thing is hard, hard, hard!!! I hate that we have to go

through this. I know watching someone we love die and lose a little

more each day must be what hell feels like. I know I'll get through

it but I wonder how my dad will fare in this process. Like all of us

on this board, I'd take it from him if I could.

Abby