Re: Anne: Re: End stages question -

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

You did not ask me, but I did make arrangements way ahead of time. It

was much easier to preplan the funeral and find out what would be the

process while I was not in the middle of emotional grief. It really was

very helpful to do that.

Donna

[Guest guest]

Thank you Josie. You said exactly how I was feeling and what I should do

for now.

Courage

Re: Anne: Re: End stages question -

>Dear Courage:

>

>I have had to face my own mortality several times. It made me realize that

I

>was not afraid, although I had been obsessin about dying for years. My

aunt

>that brought me up and was my " real " mom until I was 17 died in Cuba 7

years

>later. I never saw her again after I left Cuba. There is nothing more

painful

>than not being there for them at the end. When my other aunt died, I

stayed

>overnight in the hospital. She was the sister of the one that died in

Cuba,

>and she had been there for me and my sister all our childhoods, and later

>when she came to the States, for my nephew, nieces and my own daughters.

She

>died in my arms. It was peaceful and beautiful and I felt I did something

for

>her, especially just give her my love to the end.

>

>Unfortunatelly none of us was there when my dad died, but I feel he died

>shortly after we left, but one still wonders how it went and how much he

needed us

>then. The process after the death is more complicated. It has been a

>blessing for me to be able to write about it here, to go through those

emotions, all

>the details, and process them one by one. Whenever there is a post that

>touches me emotinally, it is obviously because is something that I need to

address

>for my own mental process. The fact that I can help others here is what

>makes this whole thing so incredibly rewarding, it is not just for my own

benefit.

>

>Try not to worry about it. When you need the wisdom and strength, God will

>bestow it on you. You have the group, you have done so much for all of us

and

>for promoting our mission. I think the secret is to take each day at a

time,

>not to worry about each hurdle that is to come, but concentrate in the

>challenges of the day while planning for the future in a proactive way. I

have been

>taking one day at a time, I don't think I know how to be proactive, but I

>seem to be doing ok, helped by a lot of faith.

>

>Take care of yourself, don't obsess, God will provide for you. I continue

to

>pray for you and your family. Many hugs, love,

>

>Josie

>

>

>