Your kids can get better

[Guest guest]

Argie,

It took years for our kids to be sick and it takes years to recover. Even if

you could wave a magic wand and make their bodies normal, you would have to

teach them everything they missed while they were sick. To keep going, I

sometimes thought of my son as a stroke victim that I had to teach everything.

That was the thing that made me the angriest. Why do I have to teach what other

kids just learn?

Some believe that Albert Einstein may have had Autism. When I became tired,

frustrated, and discouraged I would play the tape in my head that maybe my kid

was like Albert. I would also remind myself of how weird some thought Bill

Gates was; brilliant, but at times a little quirky. But Bill has done okay for

himself.

You don't wake up one morning and BAM they are better. It takes time and it is

usually ten steps forward and two steps back. When my son was little, the

hardest thing was to keep talking to this kid who gave me no indication one way

or another that he cared about anything I said or did. You have to keep

treating them like they are normal even though they don't act normal. Don't

change the world to make their lives easier, make them change to fit in the

world. Some good advice I received from Maurice was to use everything

they like to motivate them.

Gradually one day you realize some of the weird behaviors are gone. Often we

were so busy concentrating on the behaviors we had to eliminate, that we didn't

realize how much he progressed. Each year I would write the teachers a note

at the beginning of the year about the things my kid needed to learn. That was

usually the time I realized how much shorter the list was becoming. By sixth

grade I no longer sent a list, because he was in the ballpark.

My son is almost seventeen and although no one can tell he ever had Autism, we

still work on stuff. The difference is it is normal teenage stuff. Are we

ever done with our kids? I don't think so. My daughter is twenty and I still

talk to her when she is wrestling with a problem. Is my son the most popular

outgoing kid at school? No, but he is happy, has friends, and has a fun sense

of humor that makes him fun to be around. He also does all the things the

so-called experts told me he would never do?

It is possible for our kids to be " normal " and lead happy productive lives if

they have parents that don't give up on them. You know that kid is in there,

you just have to make them come out before they make you so mad you want to kill

them.

Hang in there and don't give up on them no matter how much they try to make you.

They can get better.

Marcia

Message: 19

Date: Mon, 22 Aug 2005 22:48:50 -0700

From: " Argie Olivo " <golivo@...>

Subject: RE: Die Off

Marcia,

THANK YOU so much for your encouraging post. CONGRATULATIONS!!! It's

always good to hear that a child has recovered. I know we have a long road

ahead of us but are willing to help our son! I have a couple questions if

you don't mind sharing...did your son ever " video talked " mostly??? Is he

now able to make friends and socialize? How long did it take him? Please

email me privately if you want to at golivo@...

Thank you again.

Argie Olivo