Guest guest Posted January 12, 2004 Report Share Posted January 12, 2004 Hi All, I've been having a rough day today. For the last two weeks I have ended up taking Friday and Monday off from caring for my mom which totally screws up my caring schedule. Instead of being there 7 days a week my siblings now come in on the weekends and I take Wednesdays off. That left 4 days during the week where I would care for mom and take care of doctors appointments, administer the meds, etc. However, like I mentioned above I've taken more days off for two weeks now. I'm ok once I get to moms and feel fine doing all that I do but it's so hard to get up in the mornings (which probably has a lot to do with my current bout of insomnia) but it's more than that. I have had to struggle with my own depression and I guess its getting to me again. While I'm trying not to let the guilt get to me (boy is it ever!) I guess what I'm asking for is some motivation from all of you. What do you do when you feel like you just want to pull the covers over your head and not have to be responsible for caretaking? I just know that my dad is peeved at me though he wouldn't say it - I think. Last night my mother soiled her diaper and my sister and dad had to clean her and the house up. My sister was very distressed and started talking about putting mom in a NH. I know that mom will probably end up there but I don't think that she is ready yet. My frustration is that I keep telling my family moms routine, for instance - mom goes to the bathroom for a bowl movement after 3:00 most days and you have to sit her on the toilet even if she says that she doesn't have to go - but no one seems to listen to me anymore. Last night was not my mothers fault in the least and can't help feeling that if they had paid attention to moms routine then all this talk about a NH would not have happened. Perhaps I'm wrong???? I don't know. Anyway, I guess I've got to dig a little deeper for the motivation or put up yet another sheet of information for my family to follow which promptly gets ignored.......... What do you all do for strength and motivation? Courage Please follow this link to learn more about Lewy Body Dementia http://www.lewybodydementia.org Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2004 Report Share Posted January 12, 2004 Courage, I'm so sorry that you are having difficulties. A break is a good thing for you. It is good that you are not shouldering the entire caregiving burden. It is also good that your siblings are gaining some understanding of the issues, even if there are difficulties. When I get to the point of no motivation, I find that lists help me focus on what I need to do. If I can list my tasks, then prioritize them I find that motivating. I also always include something I love to do in the list. That is something that might also help your siblings. I find that tasks written down(or in this case schedules) have more power. Writing down your mom's schedule for your siblings might help eliminate some of the problems. They will have something tangible to help them in the care you do by second nature. It is harder to argue with if it is in black and white. Keep lists or white boards or something like that. Ask your siblings to write down anything that happens, then you won't forget to tell each other of changes or issues with your mom's care. One more thing...for you, a yoga class or a massage makes the world look brighter. Do something just for you as a reward for all of the hard work that you have done in taking care of your mom! Good Luck! Lynn > Hi All, > > I've been having a rough day today. > > For the last two weeks I have ended up taking Friday and Monday off from caring for my mom which totally screws up my caring schedule. Instead of being there 7 days a week my siblings now come in on the weekends and I take Wednesdays off. That left 4 days during the week where I would care for mom and take care of doctors appointments, administer the meds, etc. However, like I mentioned above I've taken more days off for two weeks now. > I'm ok once I get to moms and feel fine doing all that I do but it's so hard to get up in the mornings (which probably has a lot to do with my current bout of insomnia) but it's more than that. I have had to struggle with my own depression and I guess its getting to me again. While I'm trying not to let the guilt get to me (boy is it ever!) I guess what I'm asking for is some motivation from all of you. What do you do when you feel like you just want to pull the covers over your head and not have to be responsible for caretaking? > I just know that my dad is peeved at me though he wouldn't say it - I think. Last night my mother soiled her diaper and my sister and dad had to clean her and the house up. My sister was very distressed and started talking about putting mom in a NH. I know that mom will probably end up there but I don't think that she is ready yet. My frustration is that I keep telling my family moms routine, for instance - mom goes to the bathroom for a bowl movement after 3:00 most days and you have to sit her on the toilet even if she says that she doesn't have to go - but no one seems to listen to me anymore. Last night was not my mothers fault in the least and can't help feeling that if they had paid attention to moms routine then all this talk about a NH would not have happened. Perhaps I'm wrong???? I don't know. > Anyway, I guess I've got to dig a little deeper for the motivation or put up yet another sheet of information for my family to follow which promptly gets ignored.......... > What do you all do for strength and motivation? > Courage > > Please follow this link to learn more about Lewy Body Dementia > http://www.lewybodydementia.org > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2004 Report Share Posted January 13, 2004 Back to you, . It is good to hear from you, hugs, Josie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2004 Report Share Posted January 13, 2004 hahahhahahahahahahhahahahaha...thanks so much for this . Courage Need motivation > > > Hi All, > > I've been having a rough day today. > > For the last two weeks I have ended up taking Friday and Monday off from >caring for my mom which totally screws up my caring schedule. Instead of >being there 7 days a week my siblings now come in on the weekends and I take >Wednesdays off. That left 4 days during the week where I would care for mom >and take care of doctors appointments, administer the meds, etc. However, >like I mentioned above I've taken more days off for two weeks now. > I'm ok once I get to moms and feel fine doing all that I do but it's so >hard to get up in the mornings (which probably has a lot to do with my >current bout of insomnia) but it's more than that. I have had to struggle >with my own depression and I guess its getting to me again. While I'm >trying not to let the guilt get to me (boy is it ever!) I guess what I'm >asking for is some motivation from all of you. What do you do when you feel >like you just want to pull the covers over your head and not have to be >responsible for caretaking? > I just know that my dad is peeved at me though he wouldn't say it - I >think. Last night my mother soiled her diaper and my sister and dad had to >clean her and the house up. My sister was very distressed and started >talking about putting mom in a NH. I know that mom will probably end up >there but I don't think that she is ready yet. My frustration is that I >keep telling my family moms routine, for instance - mom goes to the bathroom >for a bowl movement after 3:00 most days and you have to sit her on the >toilet even if she says that she doesn't have to go - but no one seems to >listen to me anymore. Last night was not my mothers fault in the least and >can't help feeling that if they had paid attention to moms routine then all >this talk about a NH would not have happened. Perhaps I'm wrong???? I >don't know. > Anyway, I guess I've got to dig a little deeper for the motivation or put >up yet another sheet of information for my family to follow which promptly >gets ignored.......... > What do you all do for strength and motivation? > Courage > > Please follow this link to learn more about Lewy Body Dementia > http://www.lewybodydementia.org > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2004 Report Share Posted January 13, 2004 Donna, I hope that you are able to share all of your feelings with the SW on Wednesday - let it all out and rant and rave a bit for me too! Please let me know how it goes. Courage Re: Need motivation >Hey Courage, > >They aren't mad at you! They are taking it out on you. He should know >your Mom's schedule. He lives with her. He has to watch what you do. > >When I want to crawl under the blankets, I do. And Mom has been gone >over a year. Wednesday I am finally together enough to meet with the >Hospice SW and she is going to listen to me scream at what they didn't >do over a year ago. So it just goes on and it doesn't matter if they >are here or have gone on. I have all the same out of control feelings I >had then. Guess it is me, as well as the disease. > >Courage, you love your Mom and have done a whole lot. We can't live >their lives for them, even if we want to. Your Mom will be fine until >you get back to her. And those others need to learn a thing or two. It >is time. > >Let's see, someone here would say, " take a deep breath, hold it, now >breath out. " Do it a couple more times. Then do one thing YOU need to >do for you. > >Donna > > >Welcome to LBDcaregivers. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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