Re: Update before I fall asleep

[Guest guest]

You have a great deal on your plate. It is no wonder that you cannot sleep.

I remember when my mother went into Central Park Lodge. She begged me and

begged me to take her home. I went through many sleepless nights. I wish I

had the solutions but as usual, I do not. Try to get some rest when you

can. It is horrendous that we have to deal with the guilt as well as the

disease but everyone knows that you are doing the best that you can for both

your mom and your dad. He cannot reason so therefore can't see what it is

doing to the rest of you. Be kind to yourself, grieve the loss of your

friend and know that it will get better after a time has passed.

Kath in Toronto

Update before I fall asleep

> Hello:

>

> I'm having trouble sleeping. I've tried just about everything and I

> feel tired but I just can't settle down.

>

> My dad was put in one of our three choices for nh care today. He has

> a private room which is a bit more expensive (remember for him it's

> all about the money even though it needn't be) but it guaranteed that

> my mom doesn't have to travel to the other end of the city to visit

> him daily.

>

> The nh he's in doesn't really have Italian speaking staff or

> residents but it is the nicest of the three aesthetically speaking

> and I was most impressed by this home. We were very fortunate to be

> given a placement there once my dad was labelled " Crisis " care.

>

> My dad wavered in between resignation, bitterness and pleading with

> us to bring him home and he'll be better (for as long as I live I

> will never forget having my dad plead with us to take him to his own

> home.) Because they did tests on him this morning and for some of

> the afternoon, he was not allowed to take his Aricept. He was pretty

> confused periodically throughout the day. (Even the news that my

> cousin's 43 year old husband had died did not raise any emotion or

> remark in him)

>

> He was brought to the nh by ambulance at 8 pm and I met my mother,

> father and sister there. I ended up leaving the hospital early once

> I learned of my cousin's husband's death (we're close to this couple

> and have been in each other's bridal parties).

>

> The people at the nh seemed very accomodating and changed my father

> and put a diaper on him almost as soon as we got him there. They

> appear to be very kind and patient and I so appreciate their care.

> My sister worries that my dad will not get the 24/7 care he got at

> home and she's right - he won't - but things could not go on as they

> were. We were clearly at the end of our tethers and a decision had

> to be made. What convinced my mom is when I told her that he may be

> like this again tonight or next week if we took him home but that the

> hospital had pretty much told us this was a consequence of the LBD

> and not the brain tumor. My mom knew that she could no longer do it

> alone.

>

> Almost overnight my dad has become incontinent. Does that generally

> happen? What's even more scary is that he doesn't appear to be

> embarrassed by it which is so not like my father. In fact, he often

> denies that he's wet when it is so clear that he is.

>

> Personally, I feel a bit jumbled by today's events. I wonder how

> much more I can take. My son is still sick (got to bring him back to

> the paedetrician tomorrow), my cousin's husband and our friend died

> suddenly and my dad has taken a major turn for the worse and has been

> placed in long-term care. Additionally, I'm back at work in 2 and a

> half weeks.

>

> I know I'll get through it but it just seems too much when I think of

> all that's happened lately.

>

> God, I hate this friggen disease and what it's done to my father and

> my family....

>

> Abby

>

> PS - As always, thanks for being here at almost 3 am for me to vent.

> Even if you read this tomorrow morning or not at all, I'm in a better

> place for having typed this all..

>

>

>

>

> Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Abby..gee you shouldve called me last night! I too had a sleepless

night full of worries and thought and fears..

On the bright side, now that your dad is actually IN an NH, that

whole can of worms is done with...the whole " should we, shouldnt

we " , guilt trip..etc..over NHs is very taxing emotionally. Do not

feel guilty, I believe it was the right thing to do. I'm sorry that

noone speaks Italian though. That part must be tough. I would hate

to put my dad someplace where no one spoke English...But I hope your

Dad still receives the quality of care he deserves.

Good luck with taking your son to the paediatrition today. Did they

get the results of his bloodwork yet? I sure hope things calm down

for you SOON so you can gather yourself together to face going back

to work.

Keep us posted. Many hugs, thoughts and prayers, Coyote

> Hello:

>

> I'm having trouble sleeping. I've tried just about everything and

I

> feel tired but I just can't settle down.

>

> My dad was put in one of our three choices for nh care today. He

has

> a private room which is a bit more expensive (remember for him

it's

> all about the money even though it needn't be) but it guaranteed

that

> my mom doesn't have to travel to the other end of the city to

visit

> him daily.

>

> The nh he's in doesn't really have Italian speaking staff or

> residents but it is the nicest of the three aesthetically speaking

> and I was most impressed by this home. We were very fortunate to

be

> given a placement there once my dad was labelled " Crisis " care.

>

> My dad wavered in between resignation, bitterness and pleading

with

> us to bring him home and he'll be better (for as long as I live I

> will never forget having my dad plead with us to take him to his

own

> home.) Because they did tests on him this morning and for some of

> the afternoon, he was not allowed to take his Aricept. He was

pretty

> confused periodically throughout the day. (Even the news that my

> cousin's 43 year old husband had died did not raise any emotion or

> remark in him)

>

> He was brought to the nh by ambulance at 8 pm and I met my mother,

> father and sister there. I ended up leaving the hospital early

once

> I learned of my cousin's husband's death (we're close to this

couple

> and have been in each other's bridal parties).

>

> The people at the nh seemed very accomodating and changed my

father

> and put a diaper on him almost as soon as we got him there. They

> appear to be very kind and patient and I so appreciate their

care.

> My sister worries that my dad will not get the 24/7 care he got at

> home and she's right - he won't - but things could not go on as

they

> were. We were clearly at the end of our tethers and a decision

had

> to be made. What convinced my mom is when I told her that he may

be

> like this again tonight or next week if we took him home but that

the

> hospital had pretty much told us this was a consequence of the LBD

> and not the brain tumor. My mom knew that she could no longer do

it

> alone.

>

> Almost overnight my dad has become incontinent. Does that

generally

> happen? What's even more scary is that he doesn't appear to be

> embarrassed by it which is so not like my father. In fact, he

often

> denies that he's wet when it is so clear that he is.

>

> Personally, I feel a bit jumbled by today's events. I wonder how

> much more I can take. My son is still sick (got to bring him back

to

> the paedetrician tomorrow), my cousin's husband and our friend

died

> suddenly and my dad has taken a major turn for the worse and has

been

> placed in long-term care. Additionally, I'm back at work in 2 and

a

> half weeks.

>

> I know I'll get through it but it just seems too much when I think

of

> all that's happened lately.

>

> God, I hate this friggen disease and what it's done to my father

and

> my family....

>

> Abby

>

> PS - As always, thanks for being here at almost 3 am for me to

vent.

> Even if you read this tomorrow morning or not at all, I'm in a

better

> place for having typed this all..