Sharing those happy moments

[Guest guest]

Hi -

I was going thru the grocery store the other day, and

had to buy coffee. My 5 yr old LOVES to make our

coffee, from grinding the beans to scooping and adding

the water. He does it better than I do, I might add -

Starbucks has nothing on this kid's coffee making.

Anyway, I picked up the whole beans and moved on, when

my son ran up behind me w/ a bad held high and

excitement in his voice, saying " Mommy - mommy! Look!

Let's buy this one... it's already ground up! It'll

be faster! " .

Cool, huh?? I've become 'accustomed' lately to the

periods of almost normal speech when he's " on " , but

this level of awareness and observation is what really

got me here, not to mention the logic, the excitement

of discovery, and his sharing it with me. I'm so

grateful. (It's not always this way, but the scales

seem to be tipping more that way these days despite

illness, etc.).

Just wanted to share. We've come a very long way.

Even if we were to not make it further, this child

could have a better childhood than I did already, and

very likely have a better experience as an adult. (I

won't be sappy and say it makes it all worth it,

because it doesn't, but lots of good can certainly

come out of the last few years). I wish for all

children to have these choices and opportunities. I

wonder how we got so lucky. (Two & 1/2 years ago, I

couldn't fathom ever using that word-lucky.)

Thanks for being here to share the joys as well as the

sorrows, everybody. My sons would never have made it

this far without all the knowledge you guys have

shared with me and taught me. And no one knows have

joyful it is for a child to notice a different coffee

than all of you!

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

,

Wow that is great. I remember reading lots of " glimpses " of this in

the past in your posts. Do you think this level of awareness is

new....or is just the ability/know how to share it that's new??

Or...is it (likely) both?

--- In , <thecolemans4@y...>

wrote:

> Hi -

>

> I was going thru the grocery store the other day, and

> had to buy coffee. My 5 yr old LOVES to make our

> coffee, from grinding the beans to scooping and adding

> the water. He does it better than I do, I might add -

> Starbucks has nothing on this kid's coffee making.

>

> Anyway, I picked up the whole beans and moved on, when

> my son ran up behind me w/ a bad held high and

> excitement in his voice, saying " Mommy - mommy! Look!

> Let's buy this one... it's already ground up! It'll

> be faster! " .

>

> Cool, huh?? I've become 'accustomed' lately to the

> periods of almost normal speech when he's " on " , but

> this level of awareness and observation is what really

> got me here, not to mention the logic, the excitement

> of discovery, and his sharing it with me. I'm so

> grateful. (It's not always this way, but the scales

> seem to be tipping more that way these days despite

> illness, etc.).

>

> Just wanted to share. We've come a very long way.

> Even if we were to not make it further, this child

> could have a better childhood than I did already, and

> very likely have a better experience as an adult. (I

> won't be sappy and say it makes it all worth it,

> because it doesn't, but lots of good can certainly

> come out of the last few years). I wish for all

> children to have these choices and opportunities. I

> wonder how we got so lucky. (Two & 1/2 years ago, I

> couldn't fathom ever using that word-lucky.)

>

> Thanks for being here to share the joys as well as the

> sorrows, everybody. My sons would never have made it

> this far without all the knowledge you guys have

> shared with me and taught me. And no one knows have

> joyful it is for a child to notice a different coffee

> than all of you!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hi -

I think that there has been a consistent and steady

increase, but in this case, I believe that a

significant reduction in his anxiety level has

'allowed' him to direct his attention outward more, as

well as be more relaxed with me to point it out. A

lot of it comes from all of us gaining an emotional

security and connection, because with the reduction of

anxiety, also has come much more emotionally relaxed

engagement. He's not angry all the time from the

constant negativity at school, so he's more amicable

and relaxed. That makes him easier to be with, so he

gets lots more from me. It all snowballs from there.

These children have to be happy. They need to be

treated with kid gloves when they are having to be

told no, or disciplined, etc, by keeping in mind that

their emotions are constantly bombarded more than your

typical child. They get so much negative feedback,

and so many of us are already so tired and exhausted

that we can't do much more than put out the fires a

lot of the time. We have a harder time smiling and

just 'being' with our kids, talking casually, we

sometimes can't touch and stroke them. There's so

much we can't give them that typical children receive,

for a multitude of reasons. And we have no one

supporting us and giving back to us, because we're

having to give everything we've got to handle our

extra burdens.

The new school is giving me that support, giving

Garrett that warmth and safety. Discipline is handled

in the highest form, and discussions about what

occured and why are handled with him as if he is a

wonderful child who just accidently did something he

shouldn't have, and that if they find out why

together, then maybe they can 'give him the words' to

use next time if he can't find the words himself...

etc etc. He comes home happy, plays so kindly with

his brother, and everything goes from there. They

also support ME. And remind me of how to handle him

by their example.

While we're all looking for the right pieces of the

puzzle, searching for the right schools, the right

therapies (I haven't gone there much but I'm studying

RDI now - that's our final big piece of the puzzle -

he has it with adults, but not his peers), we need to

keep in mind the emotional needs our children have and

address them with the highest respect for the long

term. We should all discuss ways that we could manage

behavior that can build up our child or at least

minimize the negative reaction they may have. These

are thinking, feeling, emotional little children who

are starved due to a significant reduction of physical

affection in so many cases (no eye gazing as babies,

reduced amount of touch due to hypersensitivity, etc),

and finding a way to feed those needs is more

important than we may realize.

Like we need to worry about something else to worry

about! But the rewards in being able to provide these

is substantial. I was hurt by the lack of ability to

cuddle with my child the way I wanted - I'm sure many

of you were too. I felt starved, and pushed away by

him long before I knew why. My second son is a cuddle

bug, and while I derive a great deal of pleasure from

that, it is with a touch of pain EVERY time we cuddle,

because in the back of my subconcious, I'm also aching

to have had this with my first son. Now that we have

occasions of cuddling, I see the results in him after

we've carefully cuddled. Now he'll come and tentavily

sit in my lap, and even occasionally lean into it.

But I can still feel that most of the time, he is

still protecting his space. But the ability to let

loose and really hug is in there, and manifesting

itself better and better as we go along.

I sure am grateful to have reached this point. A

couple of years ago, the thought of the absence of

this was more than I could bear, so I chose to have

faith that it was possible, just so I could get

through the day. Thank goodness it was true.

Sorry to ramble.

--- meljackmom <meljackmom@...> wrote:

>

> ,

> Wow that is great. I remember reading lots of

> " glimpses " of this in

> the past in your posts. Do you think this level of

> awareness is

> new....or is just the ability/know how to share it

> that's new??

> Or...is it (likely) both?

>

>

> > Hi -

> >

> > I was going thru the grocery store the other day,

> and

> > had to buy coffee. My 5 yr old LOVES to make our

> > coffee, from grinding the beans to scooping and

> adding

> > the water. He does it better than I do, I might

> add -

> > Starbucks has nothing on this kid's coffee making.

>

> >

> > Anyway, I picked up the whole beans and moved on,

> when

> > my son ran up behind me w/ a bad held high and

> > excitement in his voice, saying " Mommy - mommy!

> Look!

> > Let's buy this one... it's already ground up!

> It'll

> > be faster! " .

> >

> > Cool, huh?? I've become 'accustomed' lately to

> the

> > periods of almost normal speech when he's " on " ,

> but

> > this level of awareness and observation is what

> really

> > got me here, not to mention the logic, the

> excitement

> > of discovery, and his sharing it with me. I'm so

> > grateful. (It's not always this way, but the

> scales

> > seem to be tipping more that way these days

> despite

> > illness, etc.).

> >

> > Just wanted to share. We've come a very long way.

>

> > Even if we were to not make it further, this child

> > could have a better childhood than I did already,

> and

> > very likely have a better experience as an adult.

> (I

> > won't be sappy and say it makes it all worth it,

> > because it doesn't, but lots of good can certainly

> > come out of the last few years). I wish for all

> > children to have these choices and opportunities.

> I

> > wonder how we got so lucky. (Two & 1/2 years ago,

> I

> > couldn't fathom ever using that word-lucky.)

> >

> > Thanks for being here to share the joys as well as

> the

> > sorrows, everybody. My sons would never have made

> it

> > this far without all the knowledge you guys have

> > shared with me and taught me. And no one knows

> have

> > joyful it is for a child to notice a different

> coffee

> > than all of you!

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >

[Guest guest]

Wow, , that is awesome!! I know exactly what you

mean...sometimes my son does something that seems SO normal and

typical, like yesterday when I opened the drawer where I keep

non-dairy chocolate Chanukah gelt (coins) for occasional treats, and

discovered about 12 little foil wrappers hidden under a placemat. I

suddenly realized that he's been sneaking into that drawer when no

one's around, and hiding the evidence! I had no idea that he was that

aware! LOL!

And then, of course, he will turn around and do something very

autistic, like obsess about Sonic the Hedgehog and script to himself

at inappropriate times. Sigh...

Donna

>

> I was going thru the grocery store the other day, and

> had to buy coffee. My 5 yr old LOVES to make our

> coffee, from grinding the beans to scooping and adding

> the water. He does it better than I do, I might add -

> Starbucks has nothing on this kid's coffee making.

>

> Anyway, I picked up the whole beans and moved on, when

> my son ran up behind me w/ a bad held high and

> excitement in his voice, saying " Mommy - mommy! Look!

> Let's buy this one... it's already ground up! It'll

> be faster! " .

>

> Cool, huh?? I've become 'accustomed' lately to the

> periods of almost normal speech when he's " on " , but

> this level of awareness and observation is what really

> got me here, not to mention the logic, the excitement

> of discovery, and his sharing it with me. I'm so

> grateful. (It's not always this way, but the scales

> seem to be tipping more that way these days despite

> illness, etc.).

>

> Just wanted to share. We've come a very long way.

> Even if we were to not make it further, this child

> could have a better childhood than I did already, and

> very likely have a better experience as an adult. (I

> won't be sappy and say it makes it all worth it,

> because it doesn't, but lots of good can certainly

> come out of the last few years). I wish for all

> children to have these choices and opportunities. I

> wonder how we got so lucky. (Two & 1/2 years ago, I

> couldn't fathom ever using that word-lucky.)

>

> Thanks for being here to share the joys as well as the

> sorrows, everybody. My sons would never have made it

> this far without all the knowledge you guys have

> shared with me and taught me. And no one knows have

> joyful it is for a child to notice a different coffee

> than all of you!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Fantastic !!!!!!!!! We are so happy for you all !!

Jan and Kev

--- " Donna B. " <donnaaron@...> wrote:

>

> Wow, , that is awesome!! I know exactly what

> you

> mean...sometimes my son does something that seems SO

> normal and

> typical, like yesterday when I opened the drawer

> where I keep

> non-dairy chocolate Chanukah gelt (coins) for

> occasional treats, and

> discovered about 12 little foil wrappers hidden

> under a placemat. I

> suddenly realized that he's been sneaking into that

> drawer when no

> one's around, and hiding the evidence! I had no

> idea that he was that

> aware! LOL!

>

> And then, of course, he will turn around and do

> something very

> autistic, like obsess about Sonic the Hedgehog and

> script to himself

> at inappropriate times. Sigh...

>

> Donna

>

>

> >

> > I was going thru the grocery store the other day,

> and

> > had to buy coffee. My 5 yr old LOVES to make our

> > coffee, from grinding the beans to scooping and

> adding

> > the water. He does it better than I do, I might

> add -

> > Starbucks has nothing on this kid's coffee making.

>

> >

> > Anyway, I picked up the whole beans and moved on,

> when

> > my son ran up behind me w/ a bad held high and

> > excitement in his voice, saying " Mommy - mommy!

> Look!

> > Let's buy this one... it's already ground up!

> It'll

> > be faster! " .

> >

> > Cool, huh?? I've become 'accustomed' lately to

> the

> > periods of almost normal speech when he's " on " ,

> but

> > this level of awareness and observation is what

> really

> > got me here, not to mention the logic, the

> excitement

> > of discovery, and his sharing it with me. I'm so

> > grateful. (It's not always this way, but the

> scales

> > seem to be tipping more that way these days

> despite

> > illness, etc.).

> >

> > Just wanted to share. We've come a very long way.

>

> > Even if we were to not make it further, this child

> > could have a better childhood than I did already,

> and

> > very likely have a better experience as an adult.

> (I

> > won't be sappy and say it makes it all worth it,

> > because it doesn't, but lots of good can certainly

> > come out of the last few years). I wish for all

> > children to have these choices and opportunities.

> I

> > wonder how we got so lucky. (Two & 1/2 years ago,

> I

> > couldn't fathom ever using that word-lucky.)

> >

> > Thanks for being here to share the joys as well as

> the

> > sorrows, everybody. My sons would never have made

> it

> > this far without all the knowledge you guys have

> > shared with me and taught me. And no one knows

> have

> > joyful it is for a child to notice a different

> coffee

> > than all of you!

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >

[Guest guest]

,

What a great post, thanks!

You found a Waldorf school, right? I'm jealous-- we're going to be

homeschooling for K next year. The public placements I don't like for many

reasons, and we can't afford the local Montessori (tho I don't know if that

would be appropriate, either) It must be great to have outside support,

from a school of all places..... sigh.....

Does anyone else on here homeschool?

I've found a great bunch of hsing families to hang out with, and it's

helping my son so much socially. He never was able to make any friends in

any busy preschool settings. AND he just started to read simple

CVC words--I am just way too excited about that!!

However, I really am struggling with finding a balance-- I feel like I

always have to be " on " - doing something educational or therapeutic at all

all times. I have a very fast, insistent 11 mo old to keep up with, and my

son still isn't very self-motivated, even with fun things like crafts

or building toys. I end up exhausted and feeling like I can never do enough

for him.... anyone relate?

Becky

Re: Re: Sharing those happy moments

>

> Hi -

>

> I think that there has been a consistent and steady

> increase, but in this case, I believe that a

> significant reduction in his anxiety level has

> 'allowed' him to direct his attention outward more, as

> well as be more relaxed with me to point it out. A

> lot of it comes from all of us gaining an emotional

> security and connection, because with the reduction of

> anxiety, also has come much more emotionally relaxed

> engagement. He's not angry all the time from the

> constant negativity at school, so he's more amicable

> and relaxed. That makes him easier to be with, so he

> gets lots more from me. It all snowballs from there.

>

> These children have to be happy. They need to be

> treated with kid gloves when they are having to be

> told no, or disciplined, etc, by keeping in mind that

> their emotions are constantly bombarded more than your

> typical child. They get so much negative feedback,

> and so many of us are already so tired and exhausted

> that we can't do much more than put out the fires a

> lot of the time. We have a harder time smiling and

> just 'being' with our kids, talking casually, we

> sometimes can't touch and stroke them. There's so

> much we can't give them that typical children receive,

> for a multitude of reasons. And we have no one

> supporting us and giving back to us, because we're

> having to give everything we've got to handle our

> extra burdens.

>

> The new school is giving me that support, giving

> Garrett that warmth and safety. Discipline is handled

> in the highest form, and discussions about what

> occured and why are handled with him as if he is a

> wonderful child who just accidently did something he

> shouldn't have, and that if they find out why

> together, then maybe they can 'give him the words' to

> use next time if he can't find the words himself...

> etc etc. He comes home happy, plays so kindly with

> his brother, and everything goes from there. They

> also support ME. And remind me of how to handle him

> by their example.

>

> While we're all looking for the right pieces of the

> puzzle, searching for the right schools, the right

> therapies (I haven't gone there much but I'm studying

> RDI now - that's our final big piece of the puzzle -

> he has it with adults, but not his peers), we need to

> keep in mind the emotional needs our children have and

> address them with the highest respect for the long

> term. We should all discuss ways that we could manage

> behavior that can build up our child or at least

> minimize the negative reaction they may have. These

> are thinking, feeling, emotional little children who

> are starved due to a significant reduction of physical

> affection in so many cases (no eye gazing as babies,

> reduced amount of touch due to hypersensitivity, etc),

> and finding a way to feed those needs is more

> important than we may realize.

>

> Like we need to worry about something else to worry

> about! But the rewards in being able to provide these

> is substantial. I was hurt by the lack of ability to

> cuddle with my child the way I wanted - I'm sure many

> of you were too. I felt starved, and pushed away by

> him long before I knew why. My second son is a cuddle

> bug, and while I derive a great deal of pleasure from

> that, it is with a touch of pain EVERY time we cuddle,

> because in the back of my subconcious, I'm also aching

> to have had this with my first son. Now that we have

> occasions of cuddling, I see the results in him after

> we've carefully cuddled. Now he'll come and tentavily

> sit in my lap, and even occasionally lean into it.

> But I can still feel that most of the time, he is

> still protecting his space. But the ability to let

> loose and really hug is in there, and manifesting

> itself better and better as we go along.

>

> I sure am grateful to have reached this point. A

> couple of years ago, the thought of the absence of

> this was more than I could bear, so I chose to have

> faith that it was possible, just so I could get

> through the day. Thank goodness it was true.

>

> Sorry to ramble.

>

>

> --- meljackmom <meljackmom@...> wrote:

> >

> > ,

> > Wow that is great. I remember reading lots of

> > " glimpses " of this in

> > the past in your posts. Do you think this level of

> > awareness is

> > new....or is just the ability/know how to share it

> > that's new??

> > Or...is it (likely) both?

> >

> >

> > > Hi -

> > >

> > > I was going thru the grocery store the other day,

> > and

> > > had to buy coffee. My 5 yr old LOVES to make our

> > > coffee, from grinding the beans to scooping and

> > adding

> > > the water. He does it better than I do, I might

> > add -

> > > Starbucks has nothing on this kid's coffee making.

> >

> > >

> > > Anyway, I picked up the whole beans and moved on,

> > when

> > > my son ran up behind me w/ a bad held high and

> > > excitement in his voice, saying " Mommy - mommy!

> > Look!

> > > Let's buy this one... it's already ground up!

> > It'll

> > > be faster! " .

> > >

> > > Cool, huh?? I've become 'accustomed' lately to

> > the

> > > periods of almost normal speech when he's " on " ,

> > but

> > > this level of awareness and observation is what

> > really

> > > got me here, not to mention the logic, the

> > excitement

> > > of discovery, and his sharing it with me. I'm so

> > > grateful. (It's not always this way, but the

> > scales

> > > seem to be tipping more that way these days

> > despite

> > > illness, etc.).

> > >

> > > Just wanted to share. We've come a very long way.

> >

> > > Even if we were to not make it further, this child

> > > could have a better childhood than I did already,

> > and

> > > very likely have a better experience as an adult.

> > (I

> > > won't be sappy and say it makes it all worth it,

> > > because it doesn't, but lots of good can certainly

> > > come out of the last few years). I wish for all

> > > children to have these choices and opportunities.

> > I

> > > wonder how we got so lucky. (Two & 1/2 years ago,

> > I

> > > couldn't fathom ever using that word-lucky.)

> > >

> > > Thanks for being here to share the joys as well as

> > the

> > > sorrows, everybody. My sons would never have made

> > it

> > > this far without all the knowledge you guys have

> > > shared with me and taught me. And no one knows

> > have

> > > joyful it is for a child to notice a different

> > coffee

> > > than all of you!

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > __________________________________________________

> > >

[Guest guest]

,

That is wonderful news!!!!!! Your family certainly deserves it. Hopefully

things will continue to go in a positive direction.

Becky,

To answer your question. I understand exactly what you are going through. I

have a 22 month old daughter who has been in her terrible two's for a few months

now and it is getting worse. Then I have my 4 !/2 year old son who is also

going through a rough time sometimes OCD sometimes anxiety and when he starts a

new medication on is ill. He tantrums. I feel like I have 2 kids going through

the terrible twos. It's really crazy. I try to spend a good bit of time with

both of them, so neither is neglected. By the end of the day I am at my wits

end and I also worry am I doing enough for them. I guess all we can do is hang

in there.

Sue

& Becky <beckeric@...> wrote:

,

What a great post, thanks!

You found a Waldorf school, right? I'm jealous-- we're going to be

homeschooling for K next year. The public placements I don't like for many

reasons, and we can't afford the local Montessori (tho I don't know if that

would be appropriate, either) It must be great to have outside support,

from a school of all places..... sigh.....

Does anyone else on here homeschool?

I've found a great bunch of hsing families to hang out with, and it's

helping my son so much socially. He never was able to make any friends in

any busy preschool settings. AND he just started to read simple

CVC words--I am just way too excited about that!!

However, I really am struggling with finding a balance-- I feel like I

always have to be " on " - doing something educational or therapeutic at all

all times. I have a very fast, insistent 11 mo old to keep up with, and my

son still isn't very self-motivated, even with fun things like crafts

or building toys. I end up exhausted and feeling like I can never do enough

for him.... anyone relate?

Becky

Re: Re: Sharing those happy moments

>

> Hi -

>

> I think that there has been a consistent and steady

> increase, but in this case, I believe that a

> significant reduction in his anxiety level has

> 'allowed' him to direct his attention outward more, as

> well as be more relaxed with me to point it out. A

> lot of it comes from all of us gaining an emotional

> security and connection, because with the reduction of

> anxiety, also has come much more emotionally relaxed

> engagement. He's not angry all the time from the

> constant negativity at school, so he's more amicable

> and relaxed. That makes him easier to be with, so he

> gets lots more from me. It all snowballs from there.

>

> These children have to be happy. They need to be

> treated with kid gloves when they are having to be

> told no, or disciplined, etc, by keeping in mind that

> their emotions are constantly bombarded more than your

> typical child. They get so much negative feedback,

> and so many of us are already so tired and exhausted

> that we can't do much more than put out the fires a

> lot of the time. We have a harder time smiling and

> just 'being' with our kids, talking casually, we

> sometimes can't touch and stroke them. There's so

> much we can't give them that typical children receive,

> for a multitude of reasons. And we have no one

> supporting us and giving back to us, because we're

> having to give everything we've got to handle our

> extra burdens.

>

> The new school is giving me that support, giving

> Garrett that warmth and safety. Discipline is handled

> in the highest form, and discussions about what

> occured and why are handled with him as if he is a

> wonderful child who just accidently did something he

> shouldn't have, and that if they find out why

> together, then maybe they can 'give him the words' to

> use next time if he can't find the words himself...

> etc etc. He comes home happy, plays so kindly with

> his brother, and everything goes from there. They

> also support ME. And remind me of how to handle him

> by their example.

>

> While we're all looking for the right pieces of the

> puzzle, searching for the right schools, the right

> therapies (I haven't gone there much but I'm studying

> RDI now - that's our final big piece of the puzzle -

> he has it with adults, but not his peers), we need to

> keep in mind the emotional needs our children have and

> address them with the highest respect for the long

> term. We should all discuss ways that we could manage

> behavior that can build up our child or at least

> minimize the negative reaction they may have. These

> are thinking, feeling, emotional little children who

> are starved due to a significant reduction of physical

> affection in so many cases (no eye gazing as babies,

> reduced amount of touch due to hypersensitivity, etc),

> and finding a way to feed those needs is more

> important than we may realize.

>

> Like we need to worry about something else to worry

> about! But the rewards in being able to provide these

> is substantial. I was hurt by the lack of ability to

> cuddle with my child the way I wanted - I'm sure many

> of you were too. I felt starved, and pushed away by

> him long before I knew why. My second son is a cuddle

> bug, and while I derive a great deal of pleasure from

> that, it is with a touch of pain EVERY time we cuddle,

> because in the back of my subconcious, I'm also aching

> to have had this with my first son. Now that we have

> occasions of cuddling, I see the results in him after

> we've carefully cuddled. Now he'll come and tentavily

> sit in my lap, and even occasionally lean into it.

> But I can still feel that most of the time, he is

> still protecting his space. But the ability to let

> loose and really hug is in there, and manifesting

> itself better and better as we go along.

>

> I sure am grateful to have reached this point. A

> couple of years ago, the thought of the absence of

> this was more than I could bear, so I chose to have

> faith that it was possible, just so I could get

> through the day. Thank goodness it was true.

>

> Sorry to ramble.

>

>

> --- meljackmom <meljackmom@...> wrote:

> >

> > ,

> > Wow that is great. I remember reading lots of

> > " glimpses " of this in

> > the past in your posts. Do you think this level of

> > awareness is

> > new....or is just the ability/know how to share it

> > that's new??

> > Or...is it (likely) both?

> >

> >

> > > Hi -

> > >

> > > I was going thru the grocery store the other day,

> > and

> > > had to buy coffee. My 5 yr old LOVES to make our

> > > coffee, from grinding the beans to scooping and

> > adding

> > > the water. He does it better than I do, I might

> > add -

> > > Starbucks has nothing on this kid's coffee making.

> >

> > >

> > > Anyway, I picked up the whole beans and moved on,

> > when

> > > my son ran up behind me w/ a bad held high and

> > > excitement in his voice, saying " Mommy - mommy!

> > Look!

> > > Let's buy this one... it's already ground up!

> > It'll

> > > be faster! " .

> > >

> > > Cool, huh?? I've become 'accustomed' lately to

> > the

> > > periods of almost normal speech when he's " on " ,

> > but

> > > this level of awareness and observation is what

> > really

> > > got me here, not to mention the logic, the

> > excitement

> > > of discovery, and his sharing it with me. I'm so

> > > grateful. (It's not always this way, but the

> > scales

> > > seem to be tipping more that way these days

> > despite

> > > illness, etc.).

> > >

> > > Just wanted to share. We've come a very long way.

> >

> > > Even if we were to not make it further, this child

> > > could have a better childhood than I did already,

> > and

> > > very likely have a better experience as an adult.

> > (I

> > > won't be sappy and say it makes it all worth it,

> > > because it doesn't, but lots of good can certainly

> > > come out of the last few years). I wish for all

> > > children to have these choices and opportunities.

> > I

> > > wonder how we got so lucky. (Two & 1/2 years ago,

> > I

> > > couldn't fathom ever using that word-lucky.)

> > >

> > > Thanks for being here to share the joys as well as

> > the

> > > sorrows, everybody. My sons would never have made

> > it

> > > this far without all the knowledge you guys have

> > > shared with me and taught me. And no one knows

> > have

> > > joyful it is for a child to notice a different

> > coffee

> > > than all of you!

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > __________________________________________________

> > >

[Guest guest]

Hi again Becky,

I am a reluctant homeschool parent to 11 y/o w/hfa.The school is refusing to

provide homebound even after 2 docs recommended it.I just cannot allow her to be

somewhere where it made her behaviors worse.She is doing much better but I like

you have a baby and I know they both need more than what I can provide on my

own>I want to move for better services....sighing with you

theresa

Re: Re: Sharing those happy moments

>

> Hi -

>

> I think that there has been a consistent and steady

> increase, but in this case, I believe that a

> significant reduction in his anxiety level has

> 'allowed' him to direct his attention outward more, as

> well as be more relaxed with me to point it out. A

> lot of it comes from all of us gaining an emotional

> security and connection, because with the reduction of

> anxiety, also has come much more emotionally relaxed

> engagement. He's not angry all the time from the

> constant negativity at school, so he's more amicable

> and relaxed. That makes him easier to be with, so he

> gets lots more from me. It all snowballs from there.

>

> These children have to be happy. They need to be

> treated with kid gloves when they are having to be

> told no, or disciplined, etc, by keeping in mind that

> their emotions are constantly bombarded more than your

> typical child. They get so much negative feedback,

> and so many of us are already so tired and exhausted

> that we can't do much more than put out the fires a

> lot of the time. We have a harder time smiling and

> just 'being' with our kids, talking casually, we

> sometimes can't touch and stroke them. There's so

> much we can't give them that typical children receive,

> for a multitude of reasons. And we have no one

> supporting us and giving back to us, because we're

> having to give everything we've got to handle our

> extra burdens.

>

> The new school is giving me that support, giving

> Garrett that warmth and safety. Discipline is handled

> in the highest form, and discussions about what

> occured and why are handled with him as if he is a

> wonderful child who just accidently did something he

> shouldn't have, and that if they find out why

> together, then maybe they can 'give him the words' to

> use next time if he can't find the words himself...

> etc etc. He comes home happy, plays so kindly with

> his brother, and everything goes from there. They

> also support ME. And remind me of how to handle him

> by their example.

>

> While we're all looking for the right pieces of the

> puzzle, searching for the right schools, the right

> therapies (I haven't gone there much but I'm studying

> RDI now - that's our final big piece of the puzzle -

> he has it with adults, but not his peers), we need to

> keep in mind the emotional needs our children have and

> address them with the highest respect for the long

> term. We should all discuss ways that we could manage

> behavior that can build up our child or at least

> minimize the negative reaction they may have. These

> are thinking, feeling, emotional little children who

> are starved due to a significant reduction of physical

> affection in so many cases (no eye gazing as babies,

> reduced amount of touch due to hypersensitivity, etc),

> and finding a way to feed those needs is more

> important than we may realize.

>

> Like we need to worry about something else to worry

> about! But the rewards in being able to provide these

> is substantial. I was hurt by the lack of ability to

> cuddle with my child the way I wanted - I'm sure many

> of you were too. I felt starved, and pushed away by

> him long before I knew why. My second son is a cuddle

> bug, and while I derive a great deal of pleasure from

> that, it is with a touch of pain EVERY time we cuddle,

> because in the back of my subconcious, I'm also aching

> to have had this with my first son. Now that we have

> occasions of cuddling, I see the results in him after

> we've carefully cuddled. Now he'll come and tentavily

> sit in my lap, and even occasionally lean into it.

> But I can still feel that most of the time, he is

> still protecting his space. But the ability to let

> loose and really hug is in there, and manifesting

> itself better and better as we go along.

>

> I sure am grateful to have reached this point. A

> couple of years ago, the thought of the absence of

> this was more than I could bear, so I chose to have

> faith that it was possible, just so I could get

> through the day. Thank goodness it was true.

>

> Sorry to ramble.

>

>

> --- meljackmom <meljackmom@...> wrote:

> >

> > ,

> > Wow that is great. I remember reading lots of

> > " glimpses " of this in

> > the past in your posts. Do you think this level of

> > awareness is

> > new....or is just the ability/know how to share it

> > that's new??

> > Or...is it (likely) both?

> >

> >

> > > Hi -

> > >

> > > I was going thru the grocery store the other day,

> > and

> > > had to buy coffee. My 5 yr old LOVES to make our

> > > coffee, from grinding the beans to scooping and

> > adding

> > > the water. He does it better than I do, I might

> > add -

> > > Starbucks has nothing on this kid's coffee making.

> >

> > >

> > > Anyway, I picked up the whole beans and moved on,

> > when

> > > my son ran up behind me w/ a bad held high and

> > > excitement in his voice, saying " Mommy - mommy!

> > Look!

> > > Let's buy this one... it's already ground up!

> > It'll

> > > be faster! " .

> > >

> > > Cool, huh?? I've become 'accustomed' lately to

> > the

> > > periods of almost normal speech when he's " on " ,

> > but

> > > this level of awareness and observation is what

> > really

> > > got me here, not to mention the logic, the

> > excitement

> > > of discovery, and his sharing it with me. I'm so

> > > grateful. (It's not always this way, but the

> > scales

> > > seem to be tipping more that way these days

> > despite

> > > illness, etc.).

> > >

> > > Just wanted to share. We've come a very long way.

> >

> > > Even if we were to not make it further, this child

> > > could have a better childhood than I did already,

> > and

> > > very likely have a better experience as an adult.

> > (I

> > > won't be sappy and say it makes it all worth it,

> > > because it doesn't, but lots of good can certainly

> > > come out of the last few years). I wish for all

> > > children to have these choices and opportunities.

> > I

> > > wonder how we got so lucky. (Two & 1/2 years ago,

> > I

> > > couldn't fathom ever using that word-lucky.)

> > >

> > > Thanks for being here to share the joys as well as

> > the

> > > sorrows, everybody. My sons would never have made

> > it

> > > this far without all the knowledge you guys have

> > > shared with me and taught me. And no one knows

> > have

> > > joyful it is for a child to notice a different

> > coffee

> > > than all of you!

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > __________________________________________________

> > >

[Guest guest]

Ladies,

Thank you for sharing.I needed to read something good today

theresa

Re: Re: Sharing those happy moments

>

> Hi -

>

> I think that there has been a consistent and steady

> increase, but in this case, I believe that a

> significant reduction in his anxiety level has

> 'allowed' him to direct his attention outward more, as

> well as be more relaxed with me to point it out. A

> lot of it comes from all of us gaining an emotional

> security and connection, because with the reduction of

> anxiety, also has come much more emotionally relaxed

> engagement. He's not angry all the time from the

> constant negativity at school, so he's more amicable

> and relaxed. That makes him easier to be with, so he

> gets lots more from me. It all snowballs from there.

>

> These children have to be happy. They need to be

> treated with kid gloves when they are having to be

> told no, or disciplined, etc, by keeping in mind that

> their emotions are constantly bombarded more than your

> typical child. They get so much negative feedback,

> and so many of us are already so tired and exhausted

> that we can't do much more than put out the fires a

> lot of the time. We have a harder time smiling and

> just 'being' with our kids, talking casually, we

> sometimes can't touch and stroke them. There's so

> much we can't give them that typical children receive,

> for a multitude of reasons. And we have no one

> supporting us and giving back to us, because we're

> having to give everything we've got to handle our

> extra burdens.

>

> The new school is giving me that support, giving

> Garrett that warmth and safety. Discipline is handled

> in the highest form, and discussions about what

> occured and why are handled with him as if he is a

> wonderful child who just accidently did something he

> shouldn't have, and that if they find out why

> together, then maybe they can 'give him the words' to

> use next time if he can't find the words himself...

> etc etc. He comes home happy, plays so kindly with

> his brother, and everything goes from there. They

> also support ME. And remind me of how to handle him

> by their example.

>

> While we're all looking for the right pieces of the

> puzzle, searching for the right schools, the right

> therapies (I haven't gone there much but I'm studying

> RDI now - that's our final big piece of the puzzle -

> he has it with adults, but not his peers), we need to

> keep in mind the emotional needs our children have and

> address them with the highest respect for the long

> term. We should all discuss ways that we could manage

> behavior that can build up our child or at least

> minimize the negative reaction they may have. These

> are thinking, feeling, emotional little children who

> are starved due to a significant reduction of physical

> affection in so many cases (no eye gazing as babies,

> reduced amount of touch due to hypersensitivity, etc),

> and finding a way to feed those needs is more

> important than we may realize.

>

> Like we need to worry about something else to worry

> about! But the rewards in being able to provide these

> is substantial. I was hurt by the lack of ability to

> cuddle with my child the way I wanted - I'm sure many

> of you were too. I felt starved, and pushed away by

> him long before I knew why. My second son is a cuddle

> bug, and while I derive a great deal of pleasure from

> that, it is with a touch of pain EVERY time we cuddle,

> because in the back of my subconcious, I'm also aching

> to have had this with my first son. Now that we have

> occasions of cuddling, I see the results in him after

> we've carefully cuddled. Now he'll come and tentavily

> sit in my lap, and even occasionally lean into it.

> But I can still feel that most of the time, he is

> still protecting his space. But the ability to let

> loose and really hug is in there, and manifesting

> itself better and better as we go along.

>

> I sure am grateful to have reached this point. A

> couple of years ago, the thought of the absence of

> this was more than I could bear, so I chose to have

> faith that it was possible, just so I could get

> through the day. Thank goodness it was true.

>

> Sorry to ramble.

>

>

> --- meljackmom <meljackmom@...> wrote:

> >

> > ,

> > Wow that is great. I remember reading lots of

> > " glimpses " of this in

> > the past in your posts. Do you think this level of

> > awareness is

> > new....or is just the ability/know how to share it

> > that's new??

> > Or...is it (likely) both?

> >

> >

> > > Hi -

> > >

> > > I was going thru the grocery store the other day,

> > and

> > > had to buy coffee. My 5 yr old LOVES to make our

> > > coffee, from grinding the beans to scooping and

> > adding

> > > the water. He does it better than I do, I might

> > add -

> > > Starbucks has nothing on this kid's coffee making.

> >

> > >

> > > Anyway, I picked up the whole beans and moved on,

> > when

> > > my son ran up behind me w/ a bad held high and

> > > excitement in his voice, saying " Mommy - mommy!

> > Look!

> > > Let's buy this one... it's already ground up!

> > It'll

> > > be faster! " .

> > >

> > > Cool, huh?? I've become 'accustomed' lately to

> > the

> > > periods of almost normal speech when he's " on " ,

> > but

> > > this level of awareness and observation is what

> > really

> > > got me here, not to mention the logic, the

> > excitement

> > > of discovery, and his sharing it with me. I'm so

> > > grateful. (It's not always this way, but the

> > scales

> > > seem to be tipping more that way these days

> > despite

> > > illness, etc.).

> > >

> > > Just wanted to share. We've come a very long way.

> >

> > > Even if we were to not make it further, this child

> > > could have a better childhood than I did already,

> > and

> > > very likely have a better experience as an adult.

> > (I

> > > won't be sappy and say it makes it all worth it,

> > > because it doesn't, but lots of good can certainly

> > > come out of the last few years). I wish for all

> > > children to have these choices and opportunities.

> > I

> > > wonder how we got so lucky. (Two & 1/2 years ago,

> > I

> > > couldn't fathom ever using that word-lucky.)

> > >

> > > Thanks for being here to share the joys as well as

> > the

> > > sorrows, everybody. My sons would never have made

> > it

> > > this far without all the knowledge you guys have

> > > shared with me and taught me. And no one knows

> > have

> > > joyful it is for a child to notice a different

> > coffee

> > > than all of you!

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > __________________________________________________

> > >