Need advice

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone,

I read this group, but have very little time to participate,

unfortunately. Now I need some advice though. It is complicated,

because it involves 2 languages, as I'm Dutch and communicate with Nada

in Dutch.

Despite all having read SWOE, I find my dad, my siblings and I are still

all walking on eggshells. Mainly because we feel there is no use in

making our true feelings/needs/wants known, as they'll be ignored

anyway.

My Nada moved to the Netherlands to live with another woman in

September. I have not talked to her on the phone since late September,

as I've refused to answer her calls (she can't stand that). I have

however sent her a Christmas gift, which somehow sent her the message

that all was well again (my fear already, but I was the all good child

for 40 years, one does not just scratch that).

Anyway, we've been emailing, with me biting my tongue, holding my

fingers etc.

Then, on Christmas Eve, she had an instant message conversation with my

12 year old and among other things told her that her grandfather was

mean and that I was lying to her about the Christmas gifts we have not

received, making me furious!

Then, yesterday, I got an email from her and it's the usual pleasantries

with hidden jabs. I wrote back with how I felt and told her the truth

(my 8 months old nephew was in the hospital the past few weeks, very

ill, she's 1 hour away and didn't go to visit, just an example of what

infuriates me). I read it to my dad and my husband and they both think

it's certainly right on for the truth, but it's sharp and does not spare

her.

Should I send it or not?

Petra (mailto:Petra@...)