Re: Re: Does BPD diminish with age?

[Guest guest]

My nada HATES change. That's one thing she was saying this morning while she

was whining. I don't know why things have to change. ARGHHHHHH!

Everyone is responsible only for their own behavior. We can never change

the BP or anyone else. We can only change our self -- ie, our own

behavior. If/when we change how we deal with the BP, then they're forced

to change. When we start setting boundaries, the BP will work hard at

trying to tear them down. BPs like people, objects, and events to stay

the same. BPs do not like change. So, in setting boundaries, KOs can

always expect it to get worse before it gets better.

[Guest guest]

It's always our fault. My nada was here this weekend. I don't know if anyone

remembers my saying but she is a slob. Her house has dog poop all over. Her

carpet is ruined because of dog pee. She has mold growing on her walls and

ceiling. She never cleans her kitchen. Dishes pile up in the sink. She has

papers all over the floor. She uses a paper towel and throws it on the floor

next to her. When she gets food or stuff on the counter she just leaves it.

She comes up here and does those things also. When it was mentioned, it was MY

FAULT that it bothered me because I didn't love her enough to accept her

weaknesses.

(Therefore any problems between us are MY FAULT).

[Guest guest]

Thank you Carol, I printed this out and put it on my fridge. In my 12 step

book there is a saying " Acceptance is the key to my serenity today....... "

and with a nada, sometimes it is the hardest thing to do is accept it. For

me, anyways. I so want it to be different.