Re: For those of you who've had a teen... (OT)

[Guest guest]

Gail,,

So sorry to ask, or even suggest but start looking around to see if

your teen has some pot stashed away.

That kind of attitude/action goes hand and hand with the pot smoking.

They don't get caught and really get brave... just keep your eyes open

and try not to loose yourself if you find it..

yes, when they hit 21 22 they come back to ya with all the more

questions. like, I love you can I move back home for a while!!!

Alan......

Father of three teens.............need I say more?

[Guest guest]

Gail,,

So sorry to ask, or even suggest but start looking around to see if

your teen has some pot stashed away.

That kind of attitude/action goes hand and hand with the pot smoking.

They don't get caught and really get brave... just keep your eyes open

and try not to loose yourself if you find it..

yes, when they hit 21 22 they come back to ya with all the more

questions. like, I love you can I move back home for a while!!!

Alan......

Father of three teens.............need I say more?

[Guest guest]

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been there. (hear the loud sigh) At the time I

had no support at all. I can also say that I was so afraid of alienating my

children because their dad was not there (by his own choice) that I walked

on eggshells. I was afraid to hurt them because I thought that they had

already been hurt enough............... Recently I saw a reality TV

program that really made me cry because the Mom when faced by angry words

from her daughter handled it far different than I ever did. She just

listened and acknowledged the feelings of her child. She didn't agree nor

did she tell her daughter that she was wrong to feel the way she did. She

didn't really show any emotion when her daughter told her that she was angry

at her. She just listened. If only I had done that. I always tried to

play the protector except that I know now that children will have feelings,

good, bad and really ugly. As a parent I cannot protect them from all that

life throws at them. All that we can do is be there and listen to them,

offer guidance but it is up to the individual to decide. We can

acknowledge feelings and pain but we cannot remove it. We can guide them

through the good and the bad but we can never tell our children that they

are wrong to feel.

Maybe your daughter is afraid to say that she is scared and unfamiliar with

what is happening. You cannot make it go away. Her father is 1.) a

stranger and 2.) dying. How comfortable can she be with that? Offer her a

hug and a shoulder for her tears. Don't tell her that everything will be ok

because it won't. She is in pain and she wants you to acknowledge HER pain.

You don't have to feel the same pain, just accept that she feels the way

she does and do not make reasons or excuses to make her feel better.

Acknowledge it. Just like when she was a baby in your arms she really only

wants to feel the safety of being loved unconditionally. We can create our

children but we cannot make them who we want them to be. That is for them

to find.

OMG I have not been the person that I just described. I was NEVER that

kind of parent. I know now that my love is not in my words but it is in the

depth of my heart. I can comfort but I cannot heal. That begins within me.

Empathy starts with an emotional hug. Listen. Feel. Your daughter is in

pain. The pain is very real for her and you cannot remove it. You can't

put a bandaid on it and make it go away. (That is like literally offering

your head for her to butt with...... ) You can help her to understand and

deal with HER pain. She will learn from YOUR love. If I could only go back

and follow this same advice.............. I'm sorry that you have to deal

with everything that you are dealing with and I truly hope that you will not

flare. I am just a person out hear in cyber space and I apologize if any of

this offends.

Nottarealperson@.... but I always wanted to be.........

gently climbing down from my soap box...........and wishing I could go back

to when life was before this disease............if I could only remember

when.

-- For those of you who've had a teen... (OT)

AGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Sorry... but that felt good! I truly am at the point that I

do not think I will survive the teen years of my children. I am currently

butting heads with my 15 yr old daughter. And I am afraid the stress of it

all will trigger more symptoms. But I can't seem to make it all go away.

There are so many factors here besides the normal teen stuff. Her estranged

father is in the end stages of Leukemia. She is the one who won't see him. I

am trying to talk her into it before he passes away, knowing if she doesn't,

she will live with that for the rest of her life. There is a lot of

animosity there.

Now, it's coming out on ME. Of course, my first thought is, hello, kid, I'm

the one who's been there all this time, remember? We got into the dumbest

argument this morning before school. She still has a pair of old tennis

shoes that I thought she had thrown away (there is a hole in the bottom of

one of them). I told her to throw them away and wear the ones SHE picked out

that I bought her to replace them, and she would not budge. Then we locked

horns and the day was shot to hell from there.

Add to that the fact that her doctor says to allow her anger to " come out " .

I agree with that to some degree. But there are times when consequences are

called for. So she calls me from school today, knowing I am on my way to a

meeting in another town and informs me that she is going to her aunt's house

for a couple days to " cool off " . That did not sit well with me, for several

reasons. One, she did it knowing I couldn't be there to stop her at the

moment. Two, my sister's house is not a place for her to be (I don't agree

with some of the things she does & the people she keeps company with). And

third, the parent in me just went, " Oh, no, you're NOT!!! " All this over a

shoe?

Well, then I heard what every parent eventually hears, " I hate you. " Geez,

now I know my work here is almost done, lol! Guess that means I am doing

something right? I told her I wish I could run away for a couple days myself

But I don't have that luxury. I remember, when I was her age (yes, she

thinks I was hatched at 38 and was never her age) that some of the things

that she does & says would have warranted a jack-slap from my father.

I try not to make light of her problems, b/c I know to HER they are very

real and huge. But the drama is wearing me out. I tried to talk to her when

I got home but after being constantly interrupted by her, I gave up. It

actually was kinda funny, b/c she's the one who normally stomps off, saying

she's " done " . You should have seen the look on her face when I did that to

her.

I know every parent goes through this to some degree. Just wanted to spout.

I can't talk to my hubby, b/c he's the Step Dad, and part of her " problem " .

So, here I am, with my striped referee shirt on, waiting for the bell to

ring for the next round (sigh).

Gail

Visit me, your Kay Independent Beauty Consultant (10% of your order

will be donated to the International Still's Disease Foundation) http://www

marykay.com/glmurphy

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Dear Gail, I don't have a teen yet but, a lot of my friends do and I am

hearing all kinds of things like what you said. Here are my ideas:

She is angry cause her dad is dying and is trying to stay away to ease the

pain.

You might say( like a shrink ) Your dad being so ill must be scary for you.

Anytime you want to talk about it I am here...or she can write her feelings

on a paper and then flush it down the toilet.

Talk about some of the things that happened to you with your parents at her

age.

The shoe thing ? I have heard that from a lot of people young and old. My

mom had a hard time getting used to a new shoe. The old soft shoe was just so

comfortable.Plus it is a : I will do it my way...teen thing.

The sister thing....I kind of agree that she should not go there. Maybe for

a couple of hours but not days.

Leverage: say...If we get along reasonably this month I have 15 dollars for

you for clothes etc...if you are fresh and rude I have 15 cents,,,(numbers

are arbitrary)

I have a journal from age 15...I would get so mad at my parents and would

write and cry in it( still see wrinkled paper from tears...that was back in

1971) I just fixed a typo that said 1871 hhahhha I bet it happened then too!

You might tell her that her feelings are normal but she needs to try.

Admit your own mistakes and say... I make mistakes too

When she is older, married with kids...she will be thrilled to see you as

granny...all these stages happen to many many family's

Maybe she can read this...if she does...hang in there sweetie...exercise and

your own journal may also help...For both of you as well as...You get by

with a little help from your friends......here and there..

Hugs

Liz

[Guest guest]

Dear Gail, been there done that! I have one daughter and two sons, thank

goodness i only had one girl! i can say that this too will pass. i do have a

suggestion,that worked for us. we wrote each other a letter and just let it all

hang out.somehow the good and the bad come out easier with a teenager than a

face to face challenge. my very smart daughter who was not allowed to date until

she was 16,and had a scholership for college decided to marry her high school

sweetheart 13 days after high school graduation! we didn't fight it thinking if

we did she would just run away and do it without us.three days later she left

for california with her new husband who was in the navy! to cut a long story

short,she is now 36 and has been happily married for almost 19 years.she asked

me not too long ago why we let her get married so young!!!!!!!!!!!! i swear

their brains are not fully formed before the age of 25 and anything that

happened prior to that is totally erased or not anything

like the real story. she did send us a letter from california thanking us for

loving her when at times it was very hard to do so,and she said she didn't

realize what she had until it was gone,i still have that letter! we hit a brick

wall with her at about age 14,but now she has 3 kids and her daughters are 13

and 16,need i say more? she calls me daily and from time to time i remind her

how she was! please know things will eventually get better,they say our kids

think they know everything,but for the most part it's fear of the unknown.hang

in there,eventually she will be the great kid you know she is.good luck and

write any time you need to vent.

love elly

Gail wrote:

AGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Sorry... but that felt good! I truly am at the point

that I do not think I will survive the teen years of my children. I am currently

butting heads with my 15 yr old daughter. And I am afraid the stress of it all

will trigger more symptoms. But I can't seem to make it all go away.

There are so many factors here besides the normal teen stuff. Her estranged

father is in the end stages of Leukemia. She is the one who won't see him. I am

trying to talk her into it before he passes away, knowing if she doesn't, she

will live with that for the rest of her life. There is a lot of animosity there.

Now, it's coming out on ME. Of course, my first thought is, hello, kid, I'm the

one who's been there all this time, remember? We got into the dumbest argument

this morning before school. She still has a pair of old tennis shoes that I

thought she had thrown away (there is a hole in the bottom of one of them). I

told her to throw them away and wear the ones SHE picked out that I bought her

to replace them, and she would not budge. Then we locked horns and the day was

shot to hell from there.

Add to that the fact that her doctor says to allow her anger to " come out " . I

agree with that to some degree. But there are times when consequences are called

for. So she calls me from school today, knowing I am on my way to a meeting in

another town and informs me that she is going to her aunt's house for a couple

days to " cool off " . That did not sit well with me, for several reasons. One, she

did it knowing I couldn't be there to stop her at the moment. Two, my sister's

house is not a place for her to be (I don't agree with some of the things she

does & the people she keeps company with). And third, the parent in me just

went, " Oh, no, you're NOT!!! " All this over a shoe?

Well, then I heard what every parent eventually hears, " I hate you. " Geez, now I

know my work here is almost done, lol! Guess that means I am doing something

right? I told her I wish I could run away for a couple days myself. But I don't

have that luxury. I remember, when I was her age (yes, she thinks I was hatched

at 38 and was never her age) that some of the things that she does & says would

have warranted a jack-slap from my father.

I try not to make light of her problems, b/c I know to HER they are very real

and huge. But the drama is wearing me out. I tried to talk to her when I got

home but after being constantly interrupted by her, I gave up. It actually was

kinda funny, b/c she's the one who normally stomps off, saying she's " done " . You

should have seen the look on her face when I did that to her.

I know every parent goes through this to some degree. Just wanted to spout. I

can't talk to my hubby, b/c he's the Step Dad, and part of her " problem " . So,

here I am, with my striped referee shirt on, waiting for the bell to ring for

the next round (sigh).

Gail

Visit me, your Kay Independent Beauty Consultant (10% of your order will be

donated to the International Still's Disease Foundation)

http://www.marykay.com/glmurphy

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Dear Gail, been there done that! I have one daughter and two sons, thank

goodness i only had one girl! i can say that this too will pass. i do have a

suggestion,that worked for us. we wrote each other a letter and just let it all

hang out.somehow the good and the bad come out easier with a teenager than a

face to face challenge. my very smart daughter who was not allowed to date until

she was 16,and had a scholership for college decided to marry her high school

sweetheart 13 days after high school graduation! we didn't fight it thinking if

we did she would just run away and do it without us.three days later she left

for california with her new husband who was in the navy! to cut a long story

short,she is now 36 and has been happily married for almost 19 years.she asked

me not too long ago why we let her get married so young!!!!!!!!!!!! i swear

their brains are not fully formed before the age of 25 and anything that

happened prior to that is totally erased or not anything

like the real story. she did send us a letter from california thanking us for

loving her when at times it was very hard to do so,and she said she didn't

realize what she had until it was gone,i still have that letter! we hit a brick

wall with her at about age 14,but now she has 3 kids and her daughters are 13

and 16,need i say more? she calls me daily and from time to time i remind her

how she was! please know things will eventually get better,they say our kids

think they know everything,but for the most part it's fear of the unknown.hang

in there,eventually she will be the great kid you know she is.good luck and

write any time you need to vent.

love elly

Gail wrote:

AGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Sorry... but that felt good! I truly am at the point

that I do not think I will survive the teen years of my children. I am currently

butting heads with my 15 yr old daughter. And I am afraid the stress of it all

will trigger more symptoms. But I can't seem to make it all go away.

There are so many factors here besides the normal teen stuff. Her estranged

father is in the end stages of Leukemia. She is the one who won't see him. I am

trying to talk her into it before he passes away, knowing if she doesn't, she

will live with that for the rest of her life. There is a lot of animosity there.

Now, it's coming out on ME. Of course, my first thought is, hello, kid, I'm the

one who's been there all this time, remember? We got into the dumbest argument

this morning before school. She still has a pair of old tennis shoes that I

thought she had thrown away (there is a hole in the bottom of one of them). I

told her to throw them away and wear the ones SHE picked out that I bought her

to replace them, and she would not budge. Then we locked horns and the day was

shot to hell from there.

Add to that the fact that her doctor says to allow her anger to " come out " . I

agree with that to some degree. But there are times when consequences are called

for. So she calls me from school today, knowing I am on my way to a meeting in

another town and informs me that she is going to her aunt's house for a couple

days to " cool off " . That did not sit well with me, for several reasons. One, she

did it knowing I couldn't be there to stop her at the moment. Two, my sister's

house is not a place for her to be (I don't agree with some of the things she

does & the people she keeps company with). And third, the parent in me just

went, " Oh, no, you're NOT!!! " All this over a shoe?

Well, then I heard what every parent eventually hears, " I hate you. " Geez, now I

know my work here is almost done, lol! Guess that means I am doing something

right? I told her I wish I could run away for a couple days myself. But I don't

have that luxury. I remember, when I was her age (yes, she thinks I was hatched

at 38 and was never her age) that some of the things that she does & says would

have warranted a jack-slap from my father.

I try not to make light of her problems, b/c I know to HER they are very real

and huge. But the drama is wearing me out. I tried to talk to her when I got

home but after being constantly interrupted by her, I gave up. It actually was

kinda funny, b/c she's the one who normally stomps off, saying she's " done " . You

should have seen the look on her face when I did that to her.

I know every parent goes through this to some degree. Just wanted to spout. I

can't talk to my hubby, b/c he's the Step Dad, and part of her " problem " . So,

here I am, with my striped referee shirt on, waiting for the bell to ring for

the next round (sigh).

Gail

Visit me, your Kay Independent Beauty Consultant (10% of your order will be

donated to the International Still's Disease Foundation)

http://www.marykay.com/glmurphy

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Dear gail

I am sorry that you are having such problems with your daughter. At least

you know you are not alone in this. When my daughter and son were

teenagers, my son I can honestly say was so easy, any problems were sorted

out with ease, my daughter no chance and I have come to the conclusion that

whatever the problem is that boys think with their brains and girls think

with their hormones !!!!!!!!

The only consolation is that it does pass and even my daughter said to me

quite recently " oh mum I must have been a nightmare when I was sixteen " .

Good luck

Thinking of you

Joan U.K

_____

From: Stillsdisease [mailto:Stillsdisease ]

On Behalf Of elly cudney

Sent: 06 January 2007 13:29

To: Stillsdisease

Subject: Re: For those of you who've had a teen... (OT)

Dear Gail, been there done that! I have one daughter and two sons, thank

goodness i only had one girl! i can say that this too will pass. i do have a

suggestion,that worked for us. we wrote each other a letter and just let it

all hang out.somehow the good and the bad come out easier with a teenager

than a face to face challenge. my very smart daughter who was not allowed to

date until she was 16,and had a scholership for college decided to marry her

high school sweetheart 13 days after high school graduation! we didn't fight

it thinking if we did she would just run away and do it without us.three

days later she left for california with her new husband who was in the navy!

to cut a long story short,she is now 36 and has been happily married for

almost 19 years.she asked me not too long ago why we let her get married so

young!!!!!!!!!!!! i swear their brains are not fully formed before the age

of 25 and anything that happened prior to that is totally erased or not

anything

like the real story. she did send us a letter from california thanking us

for loving her when at times it was very hard to do so,and she said she

didn't realize what she had until it was gone,i still have that letter! we

hit a brick wall with her at about age 14,but now she has 3 kids and her

daughters are 13 and 16,need i say more? she calls me daily and from time to

time i remind her how she was! please know things will eventually get

better,they say our kids think they know everything,but for the most part

it's fear of the unknown.hang in there,eventually she will be the great kid

you know she is.good luck and write any time you need to vent.

love elly

Gail <glmrphyyahoo (DOT) <mailto:glmrphy%40yahoo.com> com> wrote:

AGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Sorry... but that felt good! I truly am at the point that I

do not think I will survive the teen years of my children. I am currently

butting heads with my 15 yr old daughter. And I am afraid the stress of it

all will trigger more symptoms. But I can't seem to make it all go away.

There are so many factors here besides the normal teen stuff. Her estranged

father is in the end stages of Leukemia. She is the one who won't see him. I

am trying to talk her into it before he passes away, knowing if she doesn't,

she will live with that for the rest of her life. There is a lot of

animosity there.

Now, it's coming out on ME. Of course, my first thought is, hello, kid, I'm

the one who's been there all this time, remember? We got into the dumbest

argument this morning before school. She still has a pair of old tennis

shoes that I thought she had thrown away (there is a hole in the bottom of

one of them). I told her to throw them away and wear the ones SHE picked out

that I bought her to replace them, and she would not budge. Then we locked

horns and the day was shot to hell from there.

Add to that the fact that her doctor says to allow her anger to " come out " .

I agree with that to some degree. But there are times when consequences are

called for. So she calls me from school today, knowing I am on my way to a

meeting in another town and informs me that she is going to her aunt's house

for a couple days to " cool off " . That did not sit well with me, for several

reasons. One, she did it knowing I couldn't be there to stop her at the

moment. Two, my sister's house is not a place for her to be (I don't agree

with some of the things she does & the people she keeps company with). And

third, the parent in me just went, " Oh, no, you're NOT!!! " All this over a

shoe?

Well, then I heard what every parent eventually hears, " I hate you. " Geez,

now I know my work here is almost done, lol! Guess that means I am doing

something right? I told her I wish I could run away for a couple days

myself. But I don't have that luxury. I remember, when I was her age (yes,

she thinks I was hatched at 38 and was never her age) that some of the

things that she does & says would have warranted a jack-slap from my father.

I try not to make light of her problems, b/c I know to HER they are very

real and huge. But the drama is wearing me out. I tried to talk to her when

I got home but after being constantly interrupted by her, I gave up. It

actually was kinda funny, b/c she's the one who normally stomps off, saying

she's " done " . You should have seen the look on her face when I did that to

her.

I know every parent goes through this to some degree. Just wanted to spout.

I can't talk to my hubby, b/c he's the Step Dad, and part of her " problem " .

So, here I am, with my striped referee shirt on, waiting for the bell to

ring for the next round (sigh).

Gail

Visit me, your Kay Independent Beauty Consultant (10% of your order

will be donated to the International Still's Disease Foundation)

http://www.marykay. <http://www.marykay.com/glmurphy> com/glmurphy

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Ohhhhh Gail do I know where your coming from!!! I also have a 15 year old

daughter. I " thought " my son was hard LOL. He was an angel compared to a teenage

girl, he couldn't even hold a candle to her in the drama/argument department.

I'm afraid it's the whole mother/daugher relationship thing.

My counselor suggested a book called " Get out of my life but first can you

take me & Cheryl to the Mall " I saw it on amazon.com for like $12 & will

probably order it.

My daughter's dad died in a alcohol related car wreck almost 3 years ago. Both

he & the driver were drunk hit a tree going 100mph the driver lived he died. We

had been divorced for 13 years & I have had the same boyfriend for 11 years. Her

dad wasn't a very nice guy most of the time but she can't remember that which I

guess is ok I would prefer she have good memories of him I'm sure someday the

bad will surface & she'll have to deal with them. The one thing her dad wanted

was for her to respect adults but she can be soooo disrespectful to my

boyfriend, to me, to everyone at times I want to beat the living hell out of

her. Of course I'd go to jail & if her dad were here to see how she acts he'd

probably come close to murder so in some ways its best he isn't.

We have some pretty big fights my boyfriend tries to stay out of it but now

that I'm sick he won't take much from her without putting his foot down & yes

the stress can send me into a flare. She thinks the world revolves around her &

her life. She doesn't think it's ok for me to talk to parents when she stays

places or check up on her but I do it anyway. I tell her I am responsible for

her until she is 18. She can move out then & do as she pleases but while she

lives with me & is a minor she will follow my rules or go to a " private school "

in another state. That always scares her because her grandma (dads mom) has lots

of money & if I felt she was out of control & needed to go I think her grandma

would pay any amount to straighten her out.

I did go to a parenting support group before I got ill called BILY (Because I

Love you) they also have a parenting book that I think can be purchased from the

webiste as well as where meetings are held in differant states

http://www.becauseiloveyou.org. One thing I learned was that kids love to

" change the subject " & I found with my daughter that was so true. Like if she's

in trouble about school she'll start ranting about 100 other things & how much

she hates me etc. so then we are arguing about several things. In the group they

said to try & stay on the subject at hand & try hard not to engage (I know

easier said than done) the little darlings know how to push our buttons!!! I

hope to be able to go back to the group at some point. One thing I was thankful

about was there were some parents whose kids were younger (11, 12) & already in

the system for all kinds of things (drugs, drinking, gangs, run way etc) so I

felt some what blessed at least my daughter hasn't been

arrested or caught doing anything really bad (smoking once) but considering her

dad was killed I think overall she is doing ok right now. Another thing I

learned is that we can not control our kids but we can set up rules & make them

very clear so that if our kids break them they know what consequences they will

suffer & that we have to be firm about it. My daughter knows if she ever gets

caught smoking again her cell phone is gone-- period no further discussion. I

can't follow her 24/7 nor stop what she is exposed to.

We are only human & try to do our best which sometimes may not be up to par

but hey I figure they forget it all the minute they want something at least

thats how my 15 year old daughter is. Take a look at the webiste they have some

good info & that book is really good. I don't know if I helped you at all but

know I do know what it's like living with a teen girl!

Chris

Gail wrote:

AGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Sorry... but that felt good! I truly am at the point

that I do not think I will survive the teen years of my children. I am currently

butting heads with my 15 yr old daughter. And I am afraid the stress of it all

will trigger more symptoms. But I can't seem to make it all go away.

There are so many factors here besides the normal teen stuff. Her estranged

father is in the end stages of Leukemia. She is the one who won't see him. I am

trying to talk her into it before he passes away, knowing if she doesn't, she

will live with that for the rest of her life. There is a lot of animosity there.

Now, it's coming out on ME. Of course, my first thought is, hello, kid, I'm the

one who's been there all this time, remember? We got into the dumbest argument

this morning before school. She still has a pair of old tennis shoes that I

thought she had thrown away (there is a hole in the bottom of one of them). I

told her to throw them away and wear the ones SHE picked out that I bought her

to replace them, and she would not budge. Then we locked horns and the day was

shot to hell from there.

Add to that the fact that her doctor says to allow her anger to " come out " . I

agree with that to some degree. But there are times when consequences are called

for. So she calls me from school today, knowing I am on my way to a meeting in

another town and informs me that she is going to her aunt's house for a couple

days to " cool off " . That did not sit well with me, for several reasons. One, she

did it knowing I couldn't be there to stop her at the moment. Two, my sister's

house is not a place for her to be (I don't agree with some of the things she

does & the people she keeps company with). And third, the parent in me just

went, " Oh, no, you're NOT!!! " All this over a shoe?

Well, then I heard what every parent eventually hears, " I hate you. " Geez, now I

know my work here is almost done, lol! Guess that means I am doing something

right? I told her I wish I could run away for a couple days myself. But I don't

have that luxury. I remember, when I was her age (yes, she thinks I was hatched

at 38 and was never her age) that some of the things that she does & says would

have warranted a jack-slap from my father.

I try not to make light of her problems, b/c I know to HER they are very real

and huge. But the drama is wearing me out. I tried to talk to her when I got

home but after being constantly interrupted by her, I gave up. It actually was

kinda funny, b/c she's the one who normally stomps off, saying she's " done " . You

should have seen the look on her face when I did that to her.

I know every parent goes through this to some degree. Just wanted to spout. I

can't talk to my hubby, b/c he's the Step Dad, and part of her " problem " . So,

here I am, with my striped referee shirt on, waiting for the bell to ring for

the next round (sigh).

Gail

Visit me, your Kay Independent Beauty Consultant (10% of your order will be

donated to the International Still's Disease Foundation)

http://www.marykay.com/glmurphy

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

elly cudney wrote: aAt 21 I knew everything, and

my Mother knew nothing...but strangely enough the older I got the smarter my

Mother got!

Smiles and regards

Cat

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Dearest Gail, I remember when I " hated " my parents and siblings. All

I can say is that I grew out of it and now we are very close. She

will look back and be grateful to you, especially when she has a

child of her own. You know " the mothers curse " ! As for now hang in

there Sweetie. 15 is the age that they test a lot of waters. I will

keep your family in my prayers. I also can't imagine going thru a

parent having Lukemia. She must be very angry, but she has to release

it and it seems to be coming out at you and she should not do that.

Maybe if you tell her that in these hard times you need to stick

together ? You are the closest to her. I get angry about my stills

sometimes and take it out on my boyfriend who is the closest to me.

Have you tried therapy for her?

Love and well wishes Sharon xxoo

> AGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Sorry... but that felt good! I truly am at the

> point that I do not think I will survive the teen years of my

> children. I am currently butting heads with my 15 yr old daughter.

> And I am afraid the stress of it all will trigger more symptoms.

> But I can't seem to make it all go away.

>

> There are so many factors here besides the normal teen stuff. Her

> estranged father is in the end stages of Leukemia. She is the one

> who won't see him. I am trying to talk her into it before he passes

> away, knowing if she doesn't, she will live with that for the rest

> of her life. There is a lot of animosity there.

>

> Now, it's coming out on ME. Of course, my first thought is, hello,

> kid, I'm the one who's been there all this time, remember? We got

> into the dumbest argument this morning before school. She still has

> a pair of old tennis shoes that I thought she had thrown away

> (there is a hole in the bottom of one of them). I told her to throw

> them away and wear the ones SHE picked out that I bought her to

> replace them, and she would not budge. Then we locked horns and the

> day was shot to hell from there.

>

> Add to that the fact that her doctor says to allow her anger to

> " come out " . I agree with that to some degree. But there are times

> when consequences are called for. So she calls me from school

> today, knowing I am on my way to a meeting in another town and

> informs me that she is going to her aunt's house for a couple days

> to " cool off " . That did not sit well with me, for several reasons.

> One, she did it knowing I couldn't be there to stop her at the

> moment. Two, my sister's house is not a place for her to be (I

> don't agree with some of the things she does & the people she keeps

> company with). And third, the parent in me just went, " Oh, no,

> you're NOT!!! " All this over a shoe?

>

> Well, then I heard what every parent eventually hears, " I hate

> you. " Geez, now I know my work here is almost done, lol! Guess that

> means I am doing something right? I told her I wish I could run

> away for a couple days myself. But I don't have that luxury. I

> remember, when I was her age (yes, she thinks I was hatched at 38

> and was never her age) that some of the things that she does & says

> would have warranted a jack-slap from my father.

>

> I try not to make light of her problems, b/c I know to HER they are

> very real and huge. But the drama is wearing me out. I tried to

> talk to her when I got home but after being constantly interrupted

> by her, I gave up. It actually was kinda funny, b/c she's the one

> who normally stomps off, saying she's " done " . You should have seen

> the look on her face when I did that to her.

>

> I know every parent goes through this to some degree. Just wanted

> to spout. I can't talk to my hubby, b/c he's the Step Dad, and part

> of her " problem " . So, here I am, with my striped referee shirt on,

> waiting for the bell to ring for the next round (sigh).

>

> Gail

>

>

> Visit me, your Kay Independent Beauty Consultant (10% of your

> order will be donated to the International Still's Disease

> Foundation) http://www.marykay.com/glmurphy

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Gail, I'm so sorry, but i have to laugh just a little,,,lol OK now I'll tell you

why.I don't know if I ever told you but, I have 5 daughters!!! and 2 sons!!, 4

of the girls are teens and one of the boys are, they go 19, 18,17 15, 14 , 7, &

5. OK, now that you feel so sorry for me, let me tell you that you will live!!!

I know it doesn't feel like it , my 3 oldest ones have moved away from home, and

are living on their own. Mom and Dad were too tough , so they get to see what

the world has to offer. and in NY 16 is legal age to move out. Did i mention you

are still responsible til they turn 21??? nice system, huh. MY 15 year old

daughter and 14 year old son, are testing every last nerve we have! We try so

hard to be good parents. We take them to church, we are both here, we are not

lax on them like some can be, but not too tough, and my 14 year old son just

told me he's not a virgin anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I don't explode because he

told me ,right???, and i want to keep the

lines open, right ??, but inside I'm screaming!!!!!!!!!!And then I'm telling my

husband< have you talked to him( about condoms and not doing it!!!!)/?/? I mean

i took care of the girls!! it's never ending.... and I still have 2 more to go,

after these guys are done. What was i thinking right???? anyway this was somehow

supposed to encourage you, but i think i just depressed myself!!! lol you have

to laugh because if not , you fall down in despair. one day they'll be grown and

we'll look back in fondness and love...right?????? Lauri

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[Guest guest]

Gail, I'm so sorry, but i have to laugh just a little,,,lol OK now I'll tell you

why.I don't know if I ever told you but, I have 5 daughters!!! and 2 sons!!, 4

of the girls are teens and one of the boys are, they go 19, 18,17 15, 14 , 7, &

5. OK, now that you feel so sorry for me, let me tell you that you will live!!!

I know it doesn't feel like it , my 3 oldest ones have moved away from home, and

are living on their own. Mom and Dad were too tough , so they get to see what

the world has to offer. and in NY 16 is legal age to move out. Did i mention you

are still responsible til they turn 21??? nice system, huh. MY 15 year old

daughter and 14 year old son, are testing every last nerve we have! We try so

hard to be good parents. We take them to church, we are both here, we are not

lax on them like some can be, but not too tough, and my 14 year old son just

told me he's not a virgin anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I don't explode because he

told me ,right???, and i want to keep the

lines open, right ??, but inside I'm screaming!!!!!!!!!!And then I'm telling my

husband< have you talked to him( about condoms and not doing it!!!!)/?/? I mean

i took care of the girls!! it's never ending.... and I still have 2 more to go,

after these guys are done. What was i thinking right???? anyway this was somehow

supposed to encourage you, but i think i just depressed myself!!! lol you have

to laugh because if not , you fall down in despair. one day they'll be grown and

we'll look back in fondness and love...right?????? Lauri

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1

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Yahoo! Shopping

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find great deals.

Yahoo! TV

The Apprentice

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.

God Bless, Lauri ann http://www.myspace.com/childoftheholygod

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Lauri:

About your son, thank god that at least he still trust you and told you about

it. Kids nowadays are very precocious. Try to keep that confidence between you

two so when he needs help he come to you and not to other kids that just will

give some stupid advice.

Greetings from the southern border of the earth.

Claudio

Lauri mchenry escribió:

Gail, I'm so sorry, but i have to laugh just a little,,,lol OK now

I'll tell you why.I don't know if I ever told you but, I have 5 daughters!!! and

2 sons!!, 4 of the girls are teens and one of the boys are, they go 19, 18,17

15, 14 , 7, & 5. OK, now that you feel so sorry for me, let me tell you that you

will live!!! I know it doesn't feel like it , my 3 oldest ones have moved away

from home, and are living on their own. Mom and Dad were too tough , so they get

to see what the world has to offer. and in NY 16 is legal age to move out. Did i

mention you are still responsible til they turn 21??? nice system, huh. MY 15

year old daughter and 14 year old son, are testing every last nerve we have! We

try so hard to be good parents. We take them to church, we are both here, we are

not lax on them like some can be, but not too tough, and my 14 year old son just

told me he's not a virgin anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I don't explode because he

told me ,right???, and i want to

keep the

lines open, right ??, but inside I'm screaming!!!!!!!!!!And then I'm telling my

husband< have you talked to him( about condoms and not doing it!!!!)/?/? I mean

i took care of the girls!! it's never ending.... and I still have 2 more to go,

after these guys are done. What was i thinking right???? anyway this was somehow

supposed to encourage you, but i think i just depressed myself!!! lol you have

to laugh because if not , you fall down in despair. one day they'll be grown and

we'll look back in fondness and love...right?????? Lauri

Recent Activity

1

New Members

Visit Your Group

Get Discounts

Yahoo! Shopping

Compare prices and

find great deals.

Yahoo! TV

The Apprentice

Get exclusive clips,

Recaps & photos.

Share Photos

Put your favorite

photos and

more online.

..

God Bless, Lauri ann http://www.myspace.com/childoftheholygod

__________________________________________________