Sam, Carole and all

[Guest guest]

Oh my goodness how your words actually make me " FEEL " and that is something I

don't do much these last few years with mega doses of several anti-depressents.

I've spent almost thirty years trying not to feel because this disease is

painful and life encompasing. And although I've never felt I had it beat there

are most days I too tell myself over and over how much better off I am than many

and to be grateful, understanding, giving and empathising. Because I have been

through all the stages from worse to better but even so I sit here with pain and

such a deep longing that I could just not feel all of it. Not that I be wish to

be dead,but healthy and really living the way I want, so with that said I shall

hope these meds kick in and maybe I go back to coping better tomorrow.

[Guest guest]

Melt,

You have been through alot with this disease. It is hard sometimes for us to

see a silver lining when we are in pain. Your feelings are valid... Just because

you have gone through all the stages it does not mean we no longer go through

them. When we have pain we go through stages. We think if I take the pain meds I

will be painfree but that is not true. So when we still have pain even after

taking meds we start to get angry and then depressed. It is hard to deal with

this disease and still be able to get out and live a " normal " life. Keep your

chin up... You are in my thoughts and prayers....

Danni

Sam, Carole and all

Oh my goodness how your words actually make me " FEEL " and that is something I

don't do much these last few years with mega doses of several anti-depressents.

I've spent almost thirty years trying not to feel because this disease is

painful and life encompasing. And although I've never felt I had it beat there

are most days I too tell myself over and over how much better off I am than many

and to be grateful, understanding, giving and empathising. Because I have been

through all the stages from worse to better but even so I sit here with pain and

such a deep longing that I could just not feel all of it. Not that I be wish to

be dead,but healthy and really living the way I want, so with that said I shall

hope these meds kick in and maybe I go back to coping better tomorrow.