Re: social skills help for 12-y-o

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I have a couple of books you might try. My son is much younger, but he

likes " Tobin Makes a Friend " or " How to make a friend " by Krasny and

Marc Brown. I think these are for younger kids though.

I once ordered a book and when I got it, it was way over my son's head, but

might be a good fit for yours. There's actually a series of these books: " I

want to play " , " I'm frustrated (dealing with feelings) " , " I'm Mad (dealing

with feelings) " , " I want it (problem solving book) " , and " I can't wait " .

These are all by Crary and various co-authors. These are

interactive books where the child chooses from a list of possible solutions

and then turns to the page with the result of that choice.

I hope this is helpful.

Sincerely,

April

social skills help for 12-y-o

> Hello,

>

> My son, , has been on the protocol for a year. We have seen

> some nice improvements, including a significant weight gain (he was

> skeletal), brightening of his face and eyes, improved eye contact,

> more and better verbalizations, a significant reduction in his

> pacing, and almost an end to his repetitions of phrases.

>

> He turned 12 2 days ago, and for the first time said that he wanted

> other kids to notice him, that he did not want to be alone. I am

> both thrilled and in need of direction. While he does ok with 2

> younger sisters, he needs loads of help with peers. Can anyone

> recommend books, programs, CD's, anything that will be of help to us

> as we try to teach a child of his age to relate to other kids and

> make friends?

>

> Thank you.

>

>

>

>

>

> Responsibility for the content of this message lies strictly with

> the original author(s), and is not necessarily endorsed by or the

> opinion of the Research Institute.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I just found another book on making friends.

It's " How Kids Make Friends... secrets for making friends no matter how shy

you are " by Lonnie

You can preview this and other books at amazon.com

I don't own this book, but it looks like a gem.

April

social skills help for 12-y-o

> Hello,

>

> My son, , has been on the protocol for a year. We have seen

> some nice improvements, including a significant weight gain (he was

> skeletal), brightening of his face and eyes, improved eye contact,

> more and better verbalizations, a significant reduction in his

> pacing, and almost an end to his repetitions of phrases.

>

> He turned 12 2 days ago, and for the first time said that he wanted

> other kids to notice him, that he did not want to be alone. I am

> both thrilled and in need of direction. While he does ok with 2

> younger sisters, he needs loads of help with peers. Can anyone

> recommend books, programs, CD's, anything that will be of help to us

> as we try to teach a child of his age to relate to other kids and

> make friends?

>

> Thank you.

>

>

>

>

>

> Responsibility for the content of this message lies strictly with

> the original author(s), and is not necessarily endorsed by or the

> opinion of the Research Institute.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> > Can anyone

> > recommend books, programs, CD's, anything that will

> > be of help to us

> > as we try to teach a child of his age to relate to

> > other kids and

> > make friends?

> >

Hi ,

You might want to look into Relationship Development Intervention

(RDI). It was developed by Dr. Steve Gutstein. I think he wrote a

book on the subject and he travels around the country giving seminars

to parents. The Shaffer Autism Calendar (sent to subscribers monthly

via e-mail) gives a comprehensive list of autism events around the

country and always lists the RDI sessions.

On a personal note: What has worked for my son (younger, not quite

6, but I think this will work at any age) is having a sort of " peer

mentor " , i.e., a NT child who understands what your child's

challenges are and is willing to be his friend and teach him how to

navigate the mysteries of social interactions. Kids learn so much

more from peers than adults. My own son is overwhelmed by groups and

tends to shut himself off when confronted by a lot of kids, even kids

he knows, but he responds really well when one child takes him under

his wing and helps him function both in the group and one-on-one.

Especially when it comes to learning how to stand up for himself.

Recently, my son and I were at a playdate when the other child (who

has known him for years) announced that she didn't want to play with

him anymore because " he doesn't listen, he won't talk to me or look

at me " , etc. The mom (with whom I have discussed the concept)

took her aside and said: " When was very little, he got sick, so

sick he forgot how to talk and understand and even how to play. He's

getting better, but he had to learn everything all over again. He

really wants to play with you, but he needs help learning and you're

so good at playing and being friends. " She went on about the joys of

doing something important and making a difference in the world, etc.

Well, this little girl came out of the kitchen with a whole new

attitude; she invited my son to play with her in her room -- with all

of the toys she had previously forbidden him to touch. He responded

beautifully, and after a while the two of them were playing and

laughing...you almost couldn't tell who had the disability!

I'd been meaning to share this experience with the group for a couple

of weeks. I was so impressed with my friend's way of explaining

's differences to her daughter. It was totally truthful, but

easy for a child to understand. Any child can relate to being sick,

and most - at least the ones we want our children associating with -

can be extremely compassionate once they understand why our kids are

different. Without using the awful " A " label which brands them for

life.

HTH,

Donna

[Guest guest]

I met a wonderful therapist who developed a video to teach social skills.

Take a look.

www.tdsocialskills.com