wasRe: Germany in shock after prime-time TV accident NOW gossip and other human failings

[Guest guest]

' comments have given me much to think about;

1. At times I have been guilty of gossip.

2. At other times I have asked a person who was gossiping IF they have spoken to

the person involved; most times they say 'no'

3. have been in informal groups where we all are complaining about behavior of

some one who is not there, When I have suggested speaking to the person about

their behavior, as individuals, (to be fair to the person who is not there) I am

met with shock, horror, etc

4. Conversely, if some one has spoken with/criticized me about something I

consider a personal life choice

example, my refusing to have my family visit me when I had heart surgery) (it's

not moral issue, and not something that affects the person who spoke with me, I

was not being rude to that person or to my family) I have been annoyed, feeling

they were nosy, conformist etc.

5. My views are rather contradictory. maybe at this stage in my life I don't

want a hassle.

6. If a friend and I are discussing why we made/make the choices we did/do that

is a challenging and enjoyable discussion. (maybe because we are in mutual

discussion, Not like where some one asks me a casual question in passing, my

answer is unexpected, then they challenge me.)

7. an really unhappy story; (prejudice, unfairness, and nepotism)

In my work as supervisor of newspaper carriers, I deal with customer complaints.

When a complaint is serious, I will investigate, not just take one customer's

word for the incident. (My bias is more in favor of the carriers, not the

customers, although I try to be fair)

Some years ago, our manager was on holidays;

when I came to work one morning, our acting manager told me;

1. a certain person ('Person A' in this story) from a certain area phoned our

office saying that our carrier was delivering with their children late at night,

making noise, running through people's yards, gardens etc,

2. that 'person A' had called the police,

3. that I was to fire (terminate) that carrier IMMEDIATELY.

My reply was that I could not fire some one on the basis of ONE complaint AND

that I would call the police to confirm if a complaint had been lodged

corroborating the details.

The acting manager told me who had called in, ('person A' had worked with us as

a laborer, and occasionally came in to chat socially with our manager) She

seemed to think that would validate the complaint in my eyes. My reply was 'that

did not give him credibility as a witness/accuser, and I would still call the

police for corroboration.'

Before I could call the police, the acting manager immediately called our

General Manager in Head Office, told him the story;

HE said I was NOT to call the police, I was to fire the carrier, 'based on a

serious customer complaint'.

I agreed to do as he said, but stated if there were fall-out it would be on my

superiors heads.

Even after several years, I still see this incident as middle class people being

more willing to believe one of their own, than give a marginal person the chance

to be vindicated.

Now that I have more experience, if a similar incident occurred, I would

probably give verbal assent to the boss, then conduct an investigation on my own

time before firing the carrier, OR if the boss said I had to call the carrier

immediately while she was there, I would say what I had to, then after hours

conduct my own investigation, maybe risking dismissal for insubordination) and

contact the carrier again to suggest that if they wanted to challenge their

dismissal, to contact the gov't department that investigates workers

complaints...

rl

rl

When I was a kid, I hated when my mom used to attend Bible studies (always

taking me with her to these) and the ladies would sit around during tea time

gossipping about their fellow Bible study members who were not in attendance.

Because we knew some of these women, we knew the rumors circulating about them

were false, but no one, including my mother, did anything to contradict those

rumors. Further, speculation would be added to these rumors and accepted as

fact, and by the end of Bible study, you just knew that people would be setting

off in various directions prepared to spread new rumors, actually believing them

to be fact, when they were almost always false.

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