Re: anniversary's

[Guest guest]

Hi Marie,

It's 14 years for us this June, and we first met two years before that. I

give total credit to dh. If you were to ask anyone who knows him who's the

nicest guy they know - you'd get the same answer every time. :-)

Sandi

In a message dated 5/8/2008 1:51:23 A.M. Central Daylight Time,

marie.adams@... writes:

Just curious...since the divorce rate is supposedly 80%, how many of you are

still married & how many years? I've been married almost 19 years (will be

in July) & still see us together in the long future. I THINK it's been

almost 19 years. Memory problem in THINKING that I got married in 1989 but

lately am never sure about anything. LOL

--

Marie A. (mom to Kim, 16 on 2-29-92 & Becky, a senior & gets the best

sibling award)

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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[Guest guest]

Bob and I will be married 24 years this July. We’ve known each other for 26

years. My son, Mike, will be 23 in December and , who has autism, just

turned 19 in March. We are in it for the long haul too…LOL!

_____

From: Autism_in_Girls

[mailto:Autism_in_Girls ] On Behalf Of Marie

Sent: Thursday, May 08, 2008 1:51 AM

To: autism_in_girls

Subject: anniversary's

Just curious...since the divorce rate is supposedly 80%, how many of you are

still married & how many years? I've been married almost 19 years (will be

in July) & still see us together in the long future. I THINK it's been

almost 19 years. Memory problem in THINKING that I got married in 1989 but

lately am never sure about anything. LOL

--

Marie A. (mom to Kim, 16 on 2-29-92 & Becky, a senior & gets the best

sibling award)

[Guest guest]

Bob and I will be married 24 years this July. We’ve known each other for 26

years. My son, Mike, will be 23 in December and , who has autism, just

turned 19 in March. We are in it for the long haul too…LOL!

_____

From: Autism_in_Girls

[mailto:Autism_in_Girls ] On Behalf Of Marie

Sent: Thursday, May 08, 2008 1:51 AM

To: autism_in_girls

Subject: anniversary's

Just curious...since the divorce rate is supposedly 80%, how many of you are

still married & how many years? I've been married almost 19 years (will be

in July) & still see us together in the long future. I THINK it's been

almost 19 years. Memory problem in THINKING that I got married in 1989 but

lately am never sure about anything. LOL

--

Marie A. (mom to Kim, 16 on 2-29-92 & Becky, a senior & gets the best

sibling award)

[Guest guest]

Craig and I will be married 14 yrs the end of this month, but we've

been a couple for 19 yrs. I'm like you, I can't remember half the time

anymore! I do not foresee divorce ever being in our future, either. I

know a few divorced couples in the autism community, but mostly

married. Some with problems, but honestly I think for each of them

they would still have the same issues with/without autism. Also, I

find that single parents are not, in general, as active in autism

events so I may not have a good representation. I would guess it's

probably because of child care issues that they cannot do as many

activities.

Debi

[Guest guest]

We have been offered some hours for respite care for my daughter, and although

some think me a fool for not using them, I can not give her over to someone else

to care for. I believe as my father used to say. " When you decide to bring a

child into this world, they are yours to care for for the rest of your life. "

She can, at times, be the greatest single challenge I have ever faced, but she

is also the greatest treasure I have ever been given.

Please understand, I make no judgement on those who use respite care. I simply

can not stand to be away from my little angel any more than I am now.

>

> From: Marie <marie.adams@ gmail.com>

> Subject: anniversary' s

> To: autism_in_girls@ yahoogroups. com

> Date: Thursday, May 8, 2008, 1:51 AM

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Just curious...since the divorce rate is supposedly 80%, how many of you

> are

> still married & how many years? I've been married almost 19 years (will be

> in July) & still see us together in the long future. I THINK it's been

> almost 19 years. Memory problem in THINKING that I got married in 1989 but

> lately am never sure about anything. LOL

>

> --

> Marie A. (mom to Kim, 16 on 2-29-92 & Becky, a senior & gets the best

> sibling award)

>

>

[Guest guest]

Same here. I'm so very thankful for respite funding for those like my

friend from Spain or those with no parents to help. Unless it was

someone I know, I could not turn her over, but like you, I make no

judgement toward anyone who does use respite. Certainly respite

workers are angels of mercy for many, many families.

I remember when McCarthy was saying on Oprah for those without

autism on how to help to babysit, and to babysit all night long, I was

the first probably to jump to my feet in my living room & applaud her.

But the fact is, I just don't want to. When I was pregnant with Dinah

my church gave us a get away weekend at a chalet in Gatlinburg. Craig

had arranged 3 different households within our family to watch the

girls throughout the weekend; I couldn't do it because I felt it was

too much for the girls, so we ended up taking them. I still feel

guilty for not indulging him but I just couldn't do it to them.

Thankfully my husband is understanding enough. Maybe if I hadn't been

pregnant I would have been more excited, lol.

All of us should ban together in our local communities & have sleep

overs to help out each other.

Debi

[Guest guest]

i think i would find it hard for respite also. Not that i think i would ever get

any, as i have never looked. i leave her with my older daughter here at home

briefly if i have to run into town for something, as i know there isnt a problem

there. but someone completely strange to her....oooo i don't know, i understand

hannah, her little routines, her quirks, the simply very basic diet she is

on.....its horrible....her aide at school understands her a little now, but she

has never had to live with her..........i dont even want to think about what

will happen if myself or husband isn't around for her.

Cheryl S [chez]

To: Autism_in_Girls@...: kurioryu1013@...: Fri, 9 May

2008 21:41:39 -0700Subject: Re: anniversary's

We have been offered some hours for respite care for my daughter, and although

some think me a fool for not using them, I can not give her over to someone else

to care for. I believe as my father used to say. " When you decide to bring a

child into this world, they are yours to care for for the rest of your life. "

She can, at times, be the greatest single challenge I have ever faced, but she

is also the greatest treasure I have ever been given.Please understand, I make

no judgement on those who use respite care. I simply can not stand to be away

from my little angel any more than I am now.>>

From: Marie <marie.adams@ gmail.com>> Subject:

anniversary' s> To: autism_in_girls@ yahoogroups. com> Date: Thursday, May 8,

2008, 1:51 AM>>>>>>> Just curious...since the divorce rate is supposedly 80%,

how many of you> are> still married & how many years? I've been married almost

19 years (will be> in July) & still see us together in the long future. I THINK

it's been> almost 19 years. Memory problem in THINKING that I got married in

1989 but> lately am never sure about anything. LOL>> --> Marie A. (mom to Kim,

16 on 2-29-92 & Becky, a senior & gets the best> sibling award)>> [Non-text

portions of this message have been removed]>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ____________

_________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _> Be a better friend,

newshound, and> know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.> http://mobile.

yahoo.com/ ;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR 8HDtDypao8Wcj9tA cJ>>> ------------ ---------

--------- ------>> Autism_in_Girls- subscribe@ yahoogroups. com> ------------

--------- ---> Autism_in_Girls- unsubscribe@ yahoogroups. comYahoo! Groups

Links>>>>-- Marie A. (mom to Kim, 16 on 2-29-92 & Becky, a senior & gets the

bestsibling award)[Non-text portions of this message have been

removed]__________________________________________________________Be a better

friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

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[Guest guest]

When was smaller and having lots of in home therapy (mind you she

still isn't officially diagnosed) they used to tell me that I could apply

for respite if I wanted to get out for a day without her or even just go to

lunch with a friend or have my hair done etc. And while the thought of being

able to do those things sounded good, trusting someone to care for my baby

the way I would and to recognize any signs of a seizure and know what to

do.... I just couldn't do it.

My parents lived here till a few weeks ago and even they couldn't handle her

and her sister on their own. I have a very close friend who was my foster

mom for a few years in my teen years and she's had plenty of foster kids

over the years... hundreds easily... and she is the only one we've ever left

with for a few hours... and that's only been twice I think... Once

was because I was in my best friends wedding and she really wanted my

husband to be there too. But we even left the reception early so that we

could get back to her.

Up till last year when she started school, that was it. She was with me or

dad 24/7. Now I consider my respite the times when she goes to school

everyday. So even when it comes to going out to dinner etc. we choose places

that won't be too overwhelming for her and usually buffet places, so we

don't have to wait to place an order and can get her started right off. Even

if she's never officially dx with ASD, she does have severe ADHD and sitting

and waiting to order and then for the food to come is just too much... even

with an activity. We find there's not much activites we can take with us

that she would enjoy doing till the food arrives.

We've not been out to the movies in ages because she just wouldn't be able

to sit through a movie. My husband has always felt that if we want to do

something we should do things that the whole family can do and enjoy and not

just take them to a sitter so that we can have fun ourselves.

Personally I would like to go out every now and then without the kids, but

it comes down to having a trustable person that we can really count on to be

able to do it. Even though I trust my f. mom I still think she's older and

less able to keep up with , and Rach can be so fast, being one place

one minute then next you know she's trying to get out the door!

I keep saying we just have to wait till she's older.

I too have no problem with those that DO take advantage of respite care... I

just haven't found the right person who is properly trained, and willing I

guess. It's also the reason I've not gone back to work. I'd have to have

a job that worked ONLY when the kids were in school cause I wouldn't trust

her care to the places that run after school programs.

Theresa

On Sat, May 10, 2008 at 12:43 AM, Cheryl Sommerfeld <

cmsommerfeld@...> wrote:

>

> i think i would find it hard for respite also. Not that i think i would

> ever get any, as i have never looked. i leave her with my older daughter

> here at home briefly if i have to run into town for something, as i know

> there isnt a problem there. but someone completely strange to her....oooo i

> don't know, i understand hannah, her little routines, her quirks, the simply

> very basic diet she is on.....its horrible....her aide at school understands

> her a little now, but she has never had to live with her..........i dont

> even want to think about what will happen if myself or husband isn't around

> for her.

>

> Cheryl S [chez]

>

> To:

Autism_in_Girls@...<Autism_in_Girls%40yahoogroups.comFrom>:

> kurioryu1013@... <kurioryu1013%40yahoo.comDate>: Fri, 9 May 2008

> 21:41:39 -0700Subject: Re: anniversary's

>

> We have been offered some hours for respite care for my daughter, and

> although some think me a fool for not using them, I can not give her over to

> someone else to care for. I believe as my father used to say. " When you

> decide to bring a child into this world, they are yours to care for for the

> rest of your life. " She can, at times, be the greatest single challenge I

> have ever faced, but she is also the greatest treasure I have ever been

> given.Please understand, I make no judgement on those who use respite care.

> I simply can not stand to be away from my little angel any more than I am

> now.>> From: Marie

> <marie.adams@ gmail.com>> Subject: anniversary' s>

> To: autism_in_girls@ yahoogroups. com> Date: Thursday, May 8, 2008, 1:51

> AM>>>>>>> Just curious...since the divorce rate is supposedly 80%, how many

> of you> are> still married & how many years? I've been married almost 19

> years (will be> in July) & still see us together in the long future. I THINK

> it's been> almost 19 years. Memory problem in THINKING that I got married in

> 1989 but> lately am never sure about anything. LOL>> --> Marie A. (mom to

> Kim, 16 on 2-29-92 & Becky, a senior & gets the best> sibling award)>>

>