Guest guest Posted February 7, 2012 Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 Hi Dr. Chansky, I am writing to ask for your suggestions on dealing with bathroom avoidance issues with my son. He is almost 16 years old, has Tourette's, OCD/anxiety. All of these conditions went undiagnosed until about a year and half ago because prior to that time, he only had a mild eye-blinking tic and his OCD was not really apparent. When he hit puberty, all hell broke loose and his tics/Tourette's went into orbit. Since that time he's had many different motor and vocal tics, some which have been pretty debilitating. He is currently on the wait list for 's in Wisconsin because his day-to-day functionality has gotten to a very concerning point. On one hand, he looks and acts completely " normal " and you'd never have a clue he has TS or any other conditions, but behind closed doors it's an entirely different story. He still looks and acts " normal " but has zero social life, zero outside activities, and over the past few months has been ramping up with bathroom avoidance. Taking a shower or bath is a huge ordeal and he refuses to do it until we basically force him in there. In the past 3 weeks he's had 5 incidents that I know of where he's defecated or urinated outside of the bathroom in our house or in the garage. He'll do it in a plastic bag or paper towel and has even left dirty paper towels he's wiped himself with on the floor in the dining room!! Sorry for all of the grossly graphic details, but obviously this is all very concerning. He is normally one of the most polite well-mannered kids you could meet and before the recent past he would have never in a million years considered doing something like this and would have never recovered from the embarrassment of being caught. What's most concerning about the bathroom incidents and everything in general is his nonchalance about everything as if it's completely normal and no big deal. A few nights ago he apparently peed in his shorts, they were totally soaked. Yet he was walking around like nothing was wrong and then was planning to go to sleep in the soiled clothing! Again, totally nonchalant, and even a little smirk on his face. He also has extremely obnoxious behavior that is very, very childlike, talking baby talk, gibberish, and just non-stop taunting and antagonizing my husband and I. It's as if he's regressing in just about every sense to being a toddler or pre-schooler. It's not like he's in any sort of zombie-like state or looking psychotic or anything at all along those lines, it's just like he is so detached from reality or has created an entirely new reality in his mind. I have tried discussing the bathroom situations with him and he will give me very little info other than to say he doesn't feel like going upstairs. Now upstairs in our home is a VERY short trip, maybe 10 seconds if that, so I'm not buying that at all. And sometimes he'll go to the opposite extreme.......he'll go in the bathroom and sit on the toilet in total darkness for an hour or more with the door open. Anytime he does use the bathroom, including showers, he insists on doing everything in the dark, and also eats his meals in the dark. I could go on and on, but I'd love to get your take on this and hear any recommendations you have for dealing with the bathroom issues at least until he gets to 's, which is hopefully very soon. Thanks so much, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 7, 2012 Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 Hi , I sent your post to Dr Chansky. Will post her reply when I receive it. > > Hi Dr. Chansky, > > I am writing to ask for your suggestions on dealing with bathroom avoidance issues with my son. He is almost 16 years old, has Tourette's, OCD/anxiety. All of these conditions went undiagnosed until about a year and half ago because prior to that time, he only had a mild eye-blinking tic and his OCD was not really apparent. When he hit puberty, all hell broke loose and his tics/Tourette's went into orbit. Since that time he's had many different motor and vocal tics, some which have been pretty debilitating. > >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 7, 2012 Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 Will be interested to hear what Dr. Chansky says. But a thought I had about the bathroom though it is accommodating right now -- if he'll clean up after himself - is one of those portable toilets, the kind on a stand? We had one for my mom, who had dementia and arthritis and at a certain point couldn't walk to the bathroom. So we had one of those bedside toilets that we would have her use. Seems your son manages to go anywhere else, so maybe that in another room could help some if he'd use it and not leave you to have to clean it - tho, yeah, I did clean my mom's Quick thought. Hope has a place soon! > > Hi Dr. Chansky, > > I am writing to ask for your suggestions on dealing with bathroom avoidance issues with my son. He is almost 16 years old, has Tourette's, OCD/anxiety. All of these conditions went undiagnosed until about a year and half ago because prior to that time, he only had a mild eye-blinking tic and his OCD was not really apparent. When he hit puberty, all hell broke loose and his tics/Tourette's went into orbit. Since that time he's had many different motor and vocal tics, some which have been pretty debilitating. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 7, 2012 Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 Thanks so much, Chris. Someone else had made that suggestion as well. I don't think there's any way he'd go for it. He actually will go in the bathroom, sometimes he literally sits on the toilet for well over an hour. The more I think about things, the more I'm beginning to think that his bathroom avoidance might be more just an extension of his impulsivity and dysfunction in so many other areas. For years now, he literally can not put one single item away where it came from, even ice cream, milk, etc. I also think some of this regression may be related to the fact that my husband and I are in the middle of a pretty contentious divorce situation and unfortunately have to live in the same house until the divorce is final. I have read and heard that kids can go into a regression mode when they experience a major life trauma. He's an only child so there are no siblings to help as buffers. > Will be interested to hear what Dr. Chansky says. But a thought I had about the bathroom though it is accommodating right now -- if he'll clean up after himself - is one of those portable toilets, the kind on a stand? We had one for my mom, who had dementia and arthritis and at a certain point couldn't walk to the bathroom. So we had one of those bedside toilets that we would have her use. Seems your son manages to go anywhere else, so maybe that in another room could help some if he'd use it and not leave you to have to clean it - tho, yeah, I did clean my mom's > > Quick thought. Hope has a place soon! > > > > > > > > Hi Dr. Chansky, > > > > I am writing to ask for your suggestions on dealing with bathroom avoidance issues with my son. He is almost 16 years old, has Tourette's, OCD/anxiety. All of these conditions went undiagnosed until about a year and half ago because prior to that time, he only had a mild eye-blinking tic and his OCD was not really apparent. When he hit puberty, all hell broke loose and his tics/Tourette's went into orbit. Since that time he's had many different motor and vocal tics, some which have been pretty debilitating. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 7, 2012 Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 Thanks so much, Chris. Someone else had made that suggestion as well. I don't think there's any way he'd go for it. He actually will go in the bathroom, sometimes he literally sits on the toilet for well over an hour. The more I think about things, the more I'm beginning to think that his bathroom avoidance might be more just an extension of his impulsivity and dysfunction in so many other areas. For years now, he literally can not put one single item away where it came from, even ice cream, milk, etc. I also think some of this regression may be related to the fact that my husband and I are in the middle of a pretty contentious divorce situation and unfortunately have to live in the same house until the divorce is final. I have read and heard that kids can go into a regression mode when they experience a major life trauma. He's an only child so there are no siblings to help as buffers. > Will be interested to hear what Dr. Chansky says. But a thought I had about the bathroom though it is accommodating right now -- if he'll clean up after himself - is one of those portable toilets, the kind on a stand? We had one for my mom, who had dementia and arthritis and at a certain point couldn't walk to the bathroom. So we had one of those bedside toilets that we would have her use. Seems your son manages to go anywhere else, so maybe that in another room could help some if he'd use it and not leave you to have to clean it - tho, yeah, I did clean my mom's > > Quick thought. Hope has a place soon! > > > > > > > > Hi Dr. Chansky, > > > > I am writing to ask for your suggestions on dealing with bathroom avoidance issues with my son. He is almost 16 years old, has Tourette's, OCD/anxiety. All of these conditions went undiagnosed until about a year and half ago because prior to that time, he only had a mild eye-blinking tic and his OCD was not really apparent. When he hit puberty, all hell broke loose and his tics/Tourette's went into orbit. Since that time he's had many different motor and vocal tics, some which have been pretty debilitating. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 7, 2012 Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 Unsubscribe Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile Re: Re: Ask Dr. Chansky Thanks so much, Chris. Someone else had made that suggestion as well. I don't think there's any way he'd go for it. He actually will go in the bathroom, sometimes he literally sits on the toilet for well over an hour. The more I think about things, the more I'm beginning to think that his bathroom avoidance might be more just an extension of his impulsivity and dysfunction in so many other areas. For years now, he literally can not put one single item away where it came from, even ice cream, milk, etc. I also think some of this regression may be related to the fact that my husband and I are in the middle of a pretty contentious divorce situation and unfortunately have to live in the same house until the divorce is final. I have read and heard that kids can go into a regression mode when they experience a major life trauma. He's an only child so there are no siblings to help as buffers. > Will be interested to hear what Dr. Chansky says. But a thought I had about the bathroom though it is accommodating right now -- if he'll clean up after himself - is one of those portable toilets, the kind on a stand? We had one for my mom, who had dementia and arthritis and at a certain point couldn't walk to the bathroom. So we had one of those bedside toilets that we would have her use. Seems your son manages to go anywhere else, so maybe that in another room could help some if he'd use it and not leave you to have to clean it - tho, yeah, I did clean my mom's > > Quick thought. Hope has a place soon! > > > > > > > > Hi Dr. Chansky, > > > > I am writing to ask for your suggestions on dealing with bathroom avoidance issues with my son. He is almost 16 years old, has Tourette's, OCD/anxiety. All of these conditions went undiagnosed until about a year and half ago because prior to that time, he only had a mild eye-blinking tic and his OCD was not really apparent. When he hit puberty, all hell broke loose and his tics/Tourette's went into orbit. Since that time he's had many different motor and vocal tics, some which have been pretty debilitating. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 7, 2012 Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 Well...if you can think of anything that began at a certain point and relate it to where you are in the divorce or any particular night/event, then MAYbe some part of it could be reaction due to being upset or angry about it. AND/or things like that, with the emotional stuff/stress, could have OCD causing new behaviors. And then, you're right too, regression. Gee it is complicated! Sorry you're going through a divorce. My 3 sons were pretty young when I separated from/divorced their dad. Oldest was just turning 4, the twins were only a couple months old. All in their 20's now. But never know all the ways it might affect/bother them, both good & bad. I recall crying more because my marriage failed. Was happy to end it with their dad but was upset that my marriage failed, not really about him at all by the end. Crazy emotions. Believe you said you didn't know if your son was able to use other bathrooms. Be interesting to know, as if he can he may not have a problem at with that. Seems odd but hope it does extend outside the home to . > > Thanks so much, Chris. Someone else had made that suggestion as well. I don't think there's any way he'd go for it. He actually will go in the bathroom, sometimes he literally sits on the toilet for well over an hour. The more I think about things, the more I'm beginning to think that his bathroom avoidance might be more just an extension of his impulsivity and dysfunction in so many other areas. For years now, he literally can not put one single item away where it came from, even ice cream, milk, etc. > > I also think some of this regression may be related to the fact that my husband and I are in the middle of a pretty contentious divorce situation and unfortunately have to live in the same house until the divorce is final. I have read and heard that kids can go into a regression mode when they experience a major life trauma. He's an only child so there are no siblings to help as buffers. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 7, 2012 Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 Well...if you can think of anything that began at a certain point and relate it to where you are in the divorce or any particular night/event, then MAYbe some part of it could be reaction due to being upset or angry about it. AND/or things like that, with the emotional stuff/stress, could have OCD causing new behaviors. And then, you're right too, regression. Gee it is complicated! Sorry you're going through a divorce. My 3 sons were pretty young when I separated from/divorced their dad. Oldest was just turning 4, the twins were only a couple months old. All in their 20's now. But never know all the ways it might affect/bother them, both good & bad. I recall crying more because my marriage failed. Was happy to end it with their dad but was upset that my marriage failed, not really about him at all by the end. Crazy emotions. Believe you said you didn't know if your son was able to use other bathrooms. Be interesting to know, as if he can he may not have a problem at with that. Seems odd but hope it does extend outside the home to . > > Thanks so much, Chris. Someone else had made that suggestion as well. I don't think there's any way he'd go for it. He actually will go in the bathroom, sometimes he literally sits on the toilet for well over an hour. The more I think about things, the more I'm beginning to think that his bathroom avoidance might be more just an extension of his impulsivity and dysfunction in so many other areas. For years now, he literally can not put one single item away where it came from, even ice cream, milk, etc. > > I also think some of this regression may be related to the fact that my husband and I are in the middle of a pretty contentious divorce situation and unfortunately have to live in the same house until the divorce is final. I have read and heard that kids can go into a regression mode when they experience a major life trauma. He's an only child so there are no siblings to help as buffers. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 7, 2012 Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 There really isn't a specific event or point in time I could relate to this behavior ramping up. It's not like the divorce was a huge surprise to my son because things had been downhill for quite sometime and it was pretty obvious, especially since he's an only child. He's a super bright kid and very intuitive, so I'm sure he knew it was coming for a while. I think in some ways he was actually relieved that we are divorcing because for so long it was sort of like the elephant in the room that no one was talking about. Would have and should have done it MANY years ago when he was a lot younger but finances and concern about the effects on my son kept me from moving forward. Only if......I've said that about a gazillion times to myself in recent months! He does seem to use other bathrooms as far as I know just fine. For example, if we go somewhere to eat, he'll use the bathroom and in those cases he can't go and turn off the lights because they are usually multiple stalls/urinals. > Well...if you can think of anything that began at a certain point and relate it to where you are in the divorce or any particular night/event, then MAYbe some part of it could be reaction due to being upset or angry about it. AND/or things like that, with the emotional stuff/stress, could have OCD causing new behaviors. And then, you're right too, regression. Gee it is complicated! > > Sorry you're going through a divorce. My 3 sons were pretty young when I separated from/divorced their dad. Oldest was just turning 4, the twins were only a couple months old. All in their 20's now. But never know all the ways it might affect/bother them, both good & bad. I recall crying more because my marriage failed. Was happy to end it with their dad but was upset that my marriage failed, not really about him at all by the end. Crazy emotions. > > Believe you said you didn't know if your son was able to use other bathrooms. Be interesting to know, as if he can he may not have a problem at with that. Seems odd but hope it does extend outside the home to . > > > > > > > > Thanks so much, Chris. Someone else had made that suggestion as well. I don't think there's any way he'd go for it. He actually will go in the bathroom, sometimes he literally sits on the toilet for well over an hour. The more I think about things, the more I'm beginning to think that his bathroom avoidance might be more just an extension of his impulsivity and dysfunction in so many other areas. For years now, he literally can not put one single item away where it came from, even ice cream, milk, etc. > > > > I also think some of this regression may be related to the fact that my husband and I are in the middle of a pretty contentious divorce situation and unfortunately have to live in the same house until the divorce is final. I have read and heard that kids can go into a regression mode when they experience a major life trauma. He's an only child so there are no siblings to help as buffers. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2012 Report Share Posted February 8, 2012 I was thinking the same thing. Maybe one of those camping toilets or something. > > > > Hi Dr. Chansky, > > > > I am writing to ask for your suggestions on dealing with bathroom avoidance issues with my son. He is almost 16 years old, has Tourette's, OCD/anxiety. All of these conditions went undiagnosed until about a year and half ago because prior to that time, he only had a mild eye-blinking tic and his OCD was not really apparent. When he hit puberty, all hell broke loose and his tics/Tourette's went into orbit. Since that time he's had many different motor and vocal tics, some which have been pretty debilitating. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2012 Report Share Posted February 8, 2012 I was thinking the same thing. Maybe one of those camping toilets or something. > > > > Hi Dr. Chansky, > > > > I am writing to ask for your suggestions on dealing with bathroom avoidance issues with my son. He is almost 16 years old, has Tourette's, OCD/anxiety. All of these conditions went undiagnosed until about a year and half ago because prior to that time, he only had a mild eye-blinking tic and his OCD was not really apparent. When he hit puberty, all hell broke loose and his tics/Tourette's went into orbit. Since that time he's had many different motor and vocal tics, some which have been pretty debilitating. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2012 Report Share Posted February 8, 2012 Just had to share - during the height of my sons OCD episode - he also had issues in the bathroom.... Rugs not straight etc. It was a source of such anxiety that he began urinating in bottles! He would do whatever he could to avoid the stress of the bathroom. I bed the lights off - cover up whatever bothers him in there... Try using a timer - have him go in & sit just for 2 min - then slowly up the time... It works. Very best wishes > > Hi Dr. Chansky, > > I am writing to ask for your suggestions on dealing with bathroom avoidance issues with my son. He is almost 16 years old, has Tourette's, OCD/anxiety. All of these conditions went undiagnosed until about a year and half ago because prior to that time, he only had a mild eye-blinking tic and his OCD was not really apparent. When he hit puberty, all hell broke loose and his tics/Tourette's went into orbit. Since that time he's had many different motor and vocal tics, some which have been pretty debilitating. > > He is currently on the wait list for 's in Wisconsin because his day-to-day functionality has gotten to a very concerning point. On one hand, he looks and acts completely " normal " and you'd never have a clue he has TS or any other conditions, but behind closed doors it's an entirely different story. He still looks and acts " normal " but has zero social life, zero outside activities, and over the past few months has been ramping up with bathroom avoidance. Taking a shower or bath is a huge ordeal and he refuses to do it until we basically force him in there. In the past 3 weeks he's had 5 incidents that I know of where he's defecated or urinated outside of the bathroom in our house or in the garage. He'll do it in a plastic bag or paper towel and has even left dirty paper towels he's wiped himself with on the floor in the dining room!! > > Sorry for all of the grossly graphic details, but obviously this is all very concerning. He is normally one of the most polite well-mannered kids you could meet and before the recent past he would have never in a million years considered doing something like this and would have never recovered from the embarrassment of being caught. What's most concerning about the bathroom incidents and everything in general is his nonchalance about everything as if it's completely normal and no big deal. A few nights ago he apparently peed in his shorts, they were totally soaked. Yet he was walking around like nothing was wrong and then was planning to go to sleep in the soiled clothing! Again, totally nonchalant, and even a little smirk on his face. He also has extremely obnoxious behavior that is very, very childlike, talking baby talk, gibberish, and just non-stop taunting and antagonizing my husband and I. It's as if he's regressing in just about every sense to being a toddler or pre-schooler. > > It's not like he's in any sort of zombie-like state or looking psychotic or anything at all along those lines, it's just like he is so detached from reality or has created an entirely new reality in his mind. > I have tried discussing the bathroom situations with him and he will give me very little info other than to say he doesn't feel like going upstairs. Now upstairs in our home is a VERY short trip, maybe 10 seconds if that, so I'm not buying that at all. And sometimes he'll go to the opposite extreme.......he'll go in the bathroom and sit on the toilet in total darkness for an hour or more with the door open. > > Anytime he does use the bathroom, including showers, he insists on doing everything in the dark, and also eats his meals in the dark. I could go on and on, but I'd love to get your take on this and hear any recommendations you have for dealing with the bathroom issues at least until he gets to 's, which is hopefully very soon. > > Thanks so much, > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2012 Report Share Posted February 8, 2012 Just had to share - during the height of my sons OCD episode - he also had issues in the bathroom.... Rugs not straight etc. It was a source of such anxiety that he began urinating in bottles! He would do whatever he could to avoid the stress of the bathroom. I bed the lights off - cover up whatever bothers him in there... Try using a timer - have him go in & sit just for 2 min - then slowly up the time... It works. Very best wishes > > Hi Dr. Chansky, > > I am writing to ask for your suggestions on dealing with bathroom avoidance issues with my son. He is almost 16 years old, has Tourette's, OCD/anxiety. All of these conditions went undiagnosed until about a year and half ago because prior to that time, he only had a mild eye-blinking tic and his OCD was not really apparent. When he hit puberty, all hell broke loose and his tics/Tourette's went into orbit. Since that time he's had many different motor and vocal tics, some which have been pretty debilitating. > > He is currently on the wait list for 's in Wisconsin because his day-to-day functionality has gotten to a very concerning point. On one hand, he looks and acts completely " normal " and you'd never have a clue he has TS or any other conditions, but behind closed doors it's an entirely different story. He still looks and acts " normal " but has zero social life, zero outside activities, and over the past few months has been ramping up with bathroom avoidance. Taking a shower or bath is a huge ordeal and he refuses to do it until we basically force him in there. In the past 3 weeks he's had 5 incidents that I know of where he's defecated or urinated outside of the bathroom in our house or in the garage. He'll do it in a plastic bag or paper towel and has even left dirty paper towels he's wiped himself with on the floor in the dining room!! > > Sorry for all of the grossly graphic details, but obviously this is all very concerning. He is normally one of the most polite well-mannered kids you could meet and before the recent past he would have never in a million years considered doing something like this and would have never recovered from the embarrassment of being caught. What's most concerning about the bathroom incidents and everything in general is his nonchalance about everything as if it's completely normal and no big deal. A few nights ago he apparently peed in his shorts, they were totally soaked. Yet he was walking around like nothing was wrong and then was planning to go to sleep in the soiled clothing! Again, totally nonchalant, and even a little smirk on his face. He also has extremely obnoxious behavior that is very, very childlike, talking baby talk, gibberish, and just non-stop taunting and antagonizing my husband and I. It's as if he's regressing in just about every sense to being a toddler or pre-schooler. > > It's not like he's in any sort of zombie-like state or looking psychotic or anything at all along those lines, it's just like he is so detached from reality or has created an entirely new reality in his mind. > I have tried discussing the bathroom situations with him and he will give me very little info other than to say he doesn't feel like going upstairs. Now upstairs in our home is a VERY short trip, maybe 10 seconds if that, so I'm not buying that at all. And sometimes he'll go to the opposite extreme.......he'll go in the bathroom and sit on the toilet in total darkness for an hour or more with the door open. > > Anytime he does use the bathroom, including showers, he insists on doing everything in the dark, and also eats his meals in the dark. I could go on and on, but I'd love to get your take on this and hear any recommendations you have for dealing with the bathroom issues at least until he gets to 's, which is hopefully very soon. > > Thanks so much, > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2012 Report Share Posted February 8, 2012 Thanks, . How old was your son at the time? My son will actually go in the bathroom and sit on the toilet for well over an hour sometimes so it's not really total bathroom avoidance. I don't think in his case it has anything to do with orderliness or contamination issues, God only knows what it's all about! > > Just had to share - during the height of my sons OCD episode - he also had issues in the bathroom.... Rugs not straight etc. It was a source of such anxiety that he began urinating in bottles! He would do whatever he could to avoid the stress of the bathroom. I bed the lights off - cover up whatever bothers him in there... > Try using a timer - have him go in & sit just for 2 min - then slowly up the time... It works. > Very best wishes > > > > > > Hi Dr. Chansky, > > > > I am writing to ask for your suggestions on dealing with bathroom avoidance issues with my son. He is almost 16 years old, has Tourette's, OCD/anxiety. All of these conditions went undiagnosed until about a year and half ago because prior to that time, he only had a mild eye-blinking tic and his OCD was not really apparent. When he hit puberty, all hell broke loose and his tics/Tourette's went into orbit. Since that time he's had many different motor and vocal tics, some which have been pretty debilitating. > > > > He is currently on the wait list for 's in Wisconsin because his day-to-day functionality has gotten to a very concerning point. On one hand, he looks and acts completely " normal " and you'd never have a clue he has TS or any other conditions, but behind closed doors it's an entirely different story. He still looks and acts " normal " but has zero social life, zero outside activities, and over the past few months has been ramping up with bathroom avoidance. Taking a shower or bath is a huge ordeal and he refuses to do it until we basically force him in there. In the past 3 weeks he's had 5 incidents that I know of where he's defecated or urinated outside of the bathroom in our house or in the garage. He'll do it in a plastic bag or paper towel and has even left dirty paper towels he's wiped himself with on the floor in the dining room!! > > > > Sorry for all of the grossly graphic details, but obviously this is all very concerning. He is normally one of the most polite well-mannered kids you could meet and before the recent past he would have never in a million years considered doing something like this and would have never recovered from the embarrassment of being caught. What's most concerning about the bathroom incidents and everything in general is his nonchalance about everything as if it's completely normal and no big deal. A few nights ago he apparently peed in his shorts, they were totally soaked. Yet he was walking around like nothing was wrong and then was planning to go to sleep in the soiled clothing! Again, totally nonchalant, and even a little smirk on his face. He also has extremely obnoxious behavior that is very, very childlike, talking baby talk, gibberish, and just non-stop taunting and antagonizing my husband and I. It's as if he's regressing in just about every sense to being a toddler or pre-schooler. > > > > It's not like he's in any sort of zombie-like state or looking psychotic or anything at all along those lines, it's just like he is so detached from reality or has created an entirely new reality in his mind. > > I have tried discussing the bathroom situations with him and he will give me very little info other than to say he doesn't feel like going upstairs. Now upstairs in our home is a VERY short trip, maybe 10 seconds if that, so I'm not buying that at all. And sometimes he'll go to the opposite extreme.......he'll go in the bathroom and sit on the toilet in total darkness for an hour or more with the door open. > > > > Anytime he does use the bathroom, including showers, he insists on doing everything in the dark, and also eats his meals in the dark. I could go on and on, but I'd love to get your take on this and hear any recommendations you have for dealing with the bathroom issues at least until he gets to 's, which is hopefully very soon. > > > > Thanks so much, > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2012 Report Share Posted February 8, 2012 Thanks, . How old was your son at the time? My son will actually go in the bathroom and sit on the toilet for well over an hour sometimes so it's not really total bathroom avoidance. I don't think in his case it has anything to do with orderliness or contamination issues, God only knows what it's all about! > > Just had to share - during the height of my sons OCD episode - he also had issues in the bathroom.... Rugs not straight etc. It was a source of such anxiety that he began urinating in bottles! He would do whatever he could to avoid the stress of the bathroom. I bed the lights off - cover up whatever bothers him in there... > Try using a timer - have him go in & sit just for 2 min - then slowly up the time... It works. > Very best wishes > > > > > > Hi Dr. Chansky, > > > > I am writing to ask for your suggestions on dealing with bathroom avoidance issues with my son. He is almost 16 years old, has Tourette's, OCD/anxiety. All of these conditions went undiagnosed until about a year and half ago because prior to that time, he only had a mild eye-blinking tic and his OCD was not really apparent. When he hit puberty, all hell broke loose and his tics/Tourette's went into orbit. Since that time he's had many different motor and vocal tics, some which have been pretty debilitating. > > > > He is currently on the wait list for 's in Wisconsin because his day-to-day functionality has gotten to a very concerning point. On one hand, he looks and acts completely " normal " and you'd never have a clue he has TS or any other conditions, but behind closed doors it's an entirely different story. He still looks and acts " normal " but has zero social life, zero outside activities, and over the past few months has been ramping up with bathroom avoidance. Taking a shower or bath is a huge ordeal and he refuses to do it until we basically force him in there. In the past 3 weeks he's had 5 incidents that I know of where he's defecated or urinated outside of the bathroom in our house or in the garage. He'll do it in a plastic bag or paper towel and has even left dirty paper towels he's wiped himself with on the floor in the dining room!! > > > > Sorry for all of the grossly graphic details, but obviously this is all very concerning. He is normally one of the most polite well-mannered kids you could meet and before the recent past he would have never in a million years considered doing something like this and would have never recovered from the embarrassment of being caught. What's most concerning about the bathroom incidents and everything in general is his nonchalance about everything as if it's completely normal and no big deal. A few nights ago he apparently peed in his shorts, they were totally soaked. Yet he was walking around like nothing was wrong and then was planning to go to sleep in the soiled clothing! Again, totally nonchalant, and even a little smirk on his face. He also has extremely obnoxious behavior that is very, very childlike, talking baby talk, gibberish, and just non-stop taunting and antagonizing my husband and I. It's as if he's regressing in just about every sense to being a toddler or pre-schooler. > > > > It's not like he's in any sort of zombie-like state or looking psychotic or anything at all along those lines, it's just like he is so detached from reality or has created an entirely new reality in his mind. > > I have tried discussing the bathroom situations with him and he will give me very little info other than to say he doesn't feel like going upstairs. Now upstairs in our home is a VERY short trip, maybe 10 seconds if that, so I'm not buying that at all. And sometimes he'll go to the opposite extreme.......he'll go in the bathroom and sit on the toilet in total darkness for an hour or more with the door open. > > > > Anytime he does use the bathroom, including showers, he insists on doing everything in the dark, and also eats his meals in the dark. I could go on and on, but I'd love to get your take on this and hear any recommendations you have for dealing with the bathroom issues at least until he gets to 's, which is hopefully very soon. > > > > Thanks so much, > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2012 Report Share Posted February 8, 2012 Sorry , I didn't write the note below. :-) > Thanks, . How old was your son at the time? My son will actually go in the bathroom and sit on the toilet for well over an hour sometimes so it's not really total bathroom avoidance. I don't think in his case it has anything to do with orderliness or contamination issues, God only knows what it's all about! > > > >> >> Just had to share - during the height of my sons OCD episode - he also had issues in the bathroom.... Rugs not straight etc. It was a source of such anxiety that he began urinating in bottles! He would do whatever he could to avoid the stress of the bathroom. I bed the lights off - cover up whatever bothers him in there... >> Try using a timer - have him go in & sit just for 2 min - then slowly up the time... It works. >> Very best wishes >> >> >>> >>> Hi Dr. Chansky, >>> >>> I am writing to ask for your suggestions on dealing with bathroom avoidance issues with my son. He is almost 16 years old, has Tourette's, OCD/anxiety. All of these conditions went undiagnosed until about a year and half ago because prior to that time, he only had a mild eye-blinking tic and his OCD was not really apparent. When he hit puberty, all hell broke loose and his tics/Tourette's went into orbit. Since that time he's had many different motor and vocal tics, some which have been pretty debilitating. >>> >>> He is currently on the wait list for 's in Wisconsin because his day-to-day functionality has gotten to a very concerning point. On one hand, he looks and acts completely " normal " and you'd never have a clue he has TS or any other conditions, but behind closed doors it's an entirely different story. He still looks and acts " normal " but has zero social life, zero outside activities, and over the past few months has been ramping up with bathroom avoidance. Taking a shower or bath is a huge ordeal and he refuses to do it until we basically force him in there. In the past 3 weeks he's had 5 incidents that I know of where he's defecated or urinated outside of the bathroom in our house or in the garage. He'll do it in a plastic bag or paper towel and has even left dirty paper towels he's wiped himself with on the floor in the dining room!! >>> >>> Sorry for all of the grossly graphic details, but obviously this is all very concerning. He is normally one of the most polite well-mannered kids you could meet and before the recent past he would have never in a million years considered doing something like this and would have never recovered from the embarrassment of being caught. What's most concerning about the bathroom incidents and everything in general is his nonchalance about everything as if it's completely normal and no big deal. A few nights ago he apparently peed in his shorts, they were totally soaked. Yet he was walking around like nothing was wrong and then was planning to go to sleep in the soiled clothing! Again, totally nonchalant, and even a little smirk on his face. He also has extremely obnoxious behavior that is very, very childlike, talking baby talk, gibberish, and just non-stop taunting and antagonizing my husband and I. It's as if he's regressing in just about every sense to being a toddler or > pre-schooler. >>> >>> It's not like he's in any sort of zombie-like state or looking psychotic or anything at all along those lines, it's just like he is so detached from reality or has created an entirely new reality in his mind. >>> I have tried discussing the bathroom situations with him and he will give me very little info other than to say he doesn't feel like going upstairs. Now upstairs in our home is a VERY short trip, maybe 10 seconds if that, so I'm not buying that at all. And sometimes he'll go to the opposite extreme.......he'll go in the bathroom and sit on the toilet in total darkness for an hour or more with the door open. >>> >>> Anytime he does use the bathroom, including showers, he insists on doing everything in the dark, and also eats his meals in the dark. I could go on and on, but I'd love to get your take on this and hear any recommendations you have for dealing with the bathroom issues at least until he gets to 's, which is hopefully very soon. >>> >>> Thanks so much, >>> >>> >> >> > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2012 Report Share Posted February 8, 2012 Sorry , I didn't write the note below. :-) > Thanks, . How old was your son at the time? My son will actually go in the bathroom and sit on the toilet for well over an hour sometimes so it's not really total bathroom avoidance. I don't think in his case it has anything to do with orderliness or contamination issues, God only knows what it's all about! > > > >> >> Just had to share - during the height of my sons OCD episode - he also had issues in the bathroom.... Rugs not straight etc. It was a source of such anxiety that he began urinating in bottles! He would do whatever he could to avoid the stress of the bathroom. I bed the lights off - cover up whatever bothers him in there... >> Try using a timer - have him go in & sit just for 2 min - then slowly up the time... It works. >> Very best wishes >> >> >>> >>> Hi Dr. Chansky, >>> >>> I am writing to ask for your suggestions on dealing with bathroom avoidance issues with my son. He is almost 16 years old, has Tourette's, OCD/anxiety. All of these conditions went undiagnosed until about a year and half ago because prior to that time, he only had a mild eye-blinking tic and his OCD was not really apparent. When he hit puberty, all hell broke loose and his tics/Tourette's went into orbit. Since that time he's had many different motor and vocal tics, some which have been pretty debilitating. >>> >>> He is currently on the wait list for 's in Wisconsin because his day-to-day functionality has gotten to a very concerning point. On one hand, he looks and acts completely " normal " and you'd never have a clue he has TS or any other conditions, but behind closed doors it's an entirely different story. He still looks and acts " normal " but has zero social life, zero outside activities, and over the past few months has been ramping up with bathroom avoidance. Taking a shower or bath is a huge ordeal and he refuses to do it until we basically force him in there. In the past 3 weeks he's had 5 incidents that I know of where he's defecated or urinated outside of the bathroom in our house or in the garage. He'll do it in a plastic bag or paper towel and has even left dirty paper towels he's wiped himself with on the floor in the dining room!! >>> >>> Sorry for all of the grossly graphic details, but obviously this is all very concerning. He is normally one of the most polite well-mannered kids you could meet and before the recent past he would have never in a million years considered doing something like this and would have never recovered from the embarrassment of being caught. What's most concerning about the bathroom incidents and everything in general is his nonchalance about everything as if it's completely normal and no big deal. A few nights ago he apparently peed in his shorts, they were totally soaked. Yet he was walking around like nothing was wrong and then was planning to go to sleep in the soiled clothing! Again, totally nonchalant, and even a little smirk on his face. He also has extremely obnoxious behavior that is very, very childlike, talking baby talk, gibberish, and just non-stop taunting and antagonizing my husband and I. It's as if he's regressing in just about every sense to being a toddler or > pre-schooler. >>> >>> It's not like he's in any sort of zombie-like state or looking psychotic or anything at all along those lines, it's just like he is so detached from reality or has created an entirely new reality in his mind. >>> I have tried discussing the bathroom situations with him and he will give me very little info other than to say he doesn't feel like going upstairs. Now upstairs in our home is a VERY short trip, maybe 10 seconds if that, so I'm not buying that at all. And sometimes he'll go to the opposite extreme.......he'll go in the bathroom and sit on the toilet in total darkness for an hour or more with the door open. >>> >>> Anytime he does use the bathroom, including showers, he insists on doing everything in the dark, and also eats his meals in the dark. I could go on and on, but I'd love to get your take on this and hear any recommendations you have for dealing with the bathroom issues at least until he gets to 's, which is hopefully very soon. >>> >>> Thanks so much, >>> >>> >> >> > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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