Guest guest Posted March 24, 2012 Report Share Posted March 24, 2012 Doesn't seem like a weird question to me - that is a pretty big change even for a child without OCD. Could you talk with her a little, and offer some different guesses as to why she might be anxious? ie does she really like having her own room, is she afraid of sleeping on top or bottom? If she isn't feeling any other anxiety besides the change, then you might plan to do it in stages and give her an out at any time. Move bunkbed in and let her sleep alone, then let sis try a night or two, etc., and if she changes her mind, you can go back to how things were. Sometimes just knowing she has the choice to back out can help her make the change. Rhonda Advice?? Hi, This may seem like a weird question but I'm not sure on what to do...we are being given a free bunk bed by someone in our family. At first my daughter with OCD was excited but now she is having anxiety about her room changing. Now she keeps saying she doesn't want them with her sister. So do I make her get the bunk bed to have her sister move in her room and possibly cause her distress, or do I not give in to the OCD and make her get them? This may seem like a silly situation but I am trying to avoid her having more anxiety causing her more compulsions. Thoughts someone???? Sent from my iPhone > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2012 Report Share Posted March 24, 2012 Does the same " rule " apply with having her exposed to her fears and not letting her avoid them or is this too big of a change? I think her anxiousness is the change of furniture and things in her room. I guess my gut is telling me that she is too anxious for this type of change and she will be in too much distress Sent from my iPad > Doesn't seem like a weird question to me - that is a pretty big change even for a child without OCD. Could you talk with her a little, and offer some different guesses as to why she might be anxious? ie does she really like having her own room, is she afraid of sleeping on top or bottom? If she isn't feeling any other anxiety besides the change, then you might plan to do it in stages and give her an out at any time. Move bunkbed in and let her sleep alone, then let sis try a night or two, etc., and if she changes her mind, you can go back to how things were. Sometimes just knowing she has the choice to back out can help her make the change. > > Rhonda > > Advice?? > > Hi, > This may seem like a weird question but I'm not sure on what to do...we are being given a free bunk bed by someone in our family. At first my daughter with OCD was excited but now she is having anxiety about her room changing. Now she keeps saying she doesn't want them with her sister. So do I make her get the bunk bed to have her sister move in her room and possibly cause her distress, or do I not give in to the OCD and make her get them? This may seem like a silly situation but I am trying to avoid her having more anxiety causing her more compulsions. Thoughts someone???? > > Sent from my iPhone > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2012 Report Share Posted March 24, 2012 I don't know your daughter's age or situation but I would not make her change her room. Obviously her sister that would be moving in has a room of some type .... could you just set them up in her room. Maybe once they are up and there, your daughter may change her mind about having them in her room. My son had issues with bunk beds thinking they were going to fall down and kill the person on the bottom ...and it caused him alot of distress. ________________________________ To: " " < > Cc: " " < > Sent: Friday, March 23, 2012 8:08 PM Subject: Advice??  Hi, This may seem like a weird question but I'm not sure on what to do...we are being given a free bunk bed by someone in our family. At first my daughter with OCD was excited but now she is having anxiety about her room changing. Now she keeps saying she doesn't want them with her sister. So do I make her get the bunk bed to have her sister move in her room and possibly cause her distress, or do I not give in to the OCD and make her get them? This may seem like a silly situation but I am trying to avoid her having more anxiety causing her more compulsions. Thoughts someone???? Sent from my iPhone > Rhonda, > > If I were you, I would try the emergency room if that's what you must do to get him into treatment. If your son has urinated repeatedly in his jeans without showering or changing them, he could easily have skin, fungal, or urinary infections and you might not be aware. Our dd struggles with being wet at night and not cleaning her personal areas thoroughly. She has had recurrent yeast infections (until I put her on Lactobacillus tablets) and recurrent urinary tract infections. She also went through a period three years ago when she would only use the bathroom twice a day. At that time, she was washing for an hour each time and her arms looked like she had suffered burns (the skin was so raw). > > I find it hard to believe that any experienced OCD treatment center would forcefully change a patient. I can imagine them limiting privileges or devising exposures to deal with the clothing issue and requiring the patient to have clean clothing available. > > I also think your son may be right that he could do some things at the ER or the hotel that he cannot do at home. OCD is a tricky disorder. People with OCD can often manage things in public that they cannot do in private/at home. We can cover rituals up sometimes if people are visiting. We can also play mind games with our OCD. When my own OCD was worst over 20 yrs ago, I could not plan an overnight or longer trip away from my apartment. If I did and then tried to leave, the checking rituals would be both exhausting and time consuming. If I told myself I was just going to work and did not pack anything, the rituals were still there but not as bad. Once I got to work, I could call my parents and tell them I had decided to come after all--and could I borrow a nightgown (because I could not pack). I did this more than once, so at some level, I must have known I might go away overnight--but I could not pack and prepare for the trip in > advance because that would make the rituals much worse when it was time to leave the apartment. > > Best wishes, whatever you decide. > > (mom w/OCD, almost 12 yo dd w/OCD, 9.5 yo dd w/ tics and possible just right OCD) > > ________________________________ > > To: > Sent: Friday, March 23, 2012 9:05 PM > Subject: Re: Re: family rituals > > From what husband reports, Lindner Center wants clean clothes and will change him if he is not clean. Because he is not in life-threatening situation, I don't know if emergency room will even take, or Medicaid will pay. > > That is a great point about ER being used to all kinds of stuff. We're talking he has peed out repeatedly over last 2-3 months because couldn't get hands washed in time and hates going to bathroom, and has not changed those jeans. > > So I started talking to him about this process and he said he would be able to shower and change at the ER! Really? It turns out that living here with his dad is a HUGE issue, therapist never really validated. Son would put on new clothes after showering but not clothes from home. If ER would not take him, he might consider going to motel and showering and changing there, as long as he knows he's on his way to the center. This is a boy who has not showered for six months. > > He might be able to stay at motel if doctor orders lab tests and everything takes awhile. I thought everything " out there " was dirty, but it seems it's related to where dad has been and what dad has touched (like, it was just the car seat that was dirty, not everything else.) > > He doesn't really know if the motel would " work " or not, in terms of feeling clean enough and him being able to put on different clothes. Said he would think about it. He's been up about 30 hours on this go-round and just took the melatonin. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2012 Report Share Posted March 24, 2012 Thank you for the advice we decided to not make her get them Sent from my iPhone > I don't know your daughter's age or situation but I would not make her change her room. Obviously her sister that would be moving in has a room of some type .... could you just set them up in her room. Maybe once they are up and there, your daughter may change her mind about having them in her room. My son had issues with bunk beds thinking they were going to fall down and kill the person on the bottom ...and it caused him alot of distress. > > ________________________________ > > To: " " < > > Cc: " " < > > Sent: Friday, March 23, 2012 8:08 PM > Subject: Advice?? > > > Hi, > This may seem like a weird question but I'm not sure on what to do...we are being given a free bunk bed by someone in our family. At first my daughter with OCD was excited but now she is having anxiety about her room changing. Now she keeps saying she doesn't want them with her sister. So do I make her get the bunk bed to have her sister move in her room and possibly cause her distress, or do I not give in to the OCD and make her get them? This may seem like a silly situation but I am trying to avoid her having more anxiety causing her more compulsions. Thoughts someone???? > > Sent from my iPhone > > > > > Rhonda, > > > > If I were you, I would try the emergency room if that's what you must do to get him into treatment. If your son has urinated repeatedly in his jeans without showering or changing them, he could easily have skin, fungal, or urinary infections and you might not be aware. Our dd struggles with being wet at night and not cleaning her personal areas thoroughly. She has had recurrent yeast infections (until I put her on Lactobacillus tablets) and recurrent urinary tract infections. She also went through a period three years ago when she would only use the bathroom twice a day. At that time, she was washing for an hour each time and her arms looked like she had suffered burns (the skin was so raw). > > > > I find it hard to believe that any experienced OCD treatment center would forcefully change a patient. I can imagine them limiting privileges or devising exposures to deal with the clothing issue and requiring the patient to have clean clothing available. > > > > I also think your son may be right that he could do some things at the ER or the hotel that he cannot do at home. OCD is a tricky disorder. People with OCD can often manage things in public that they cannot do in private/at home. We can cover rituals up sometimes if people are visiting. We can also play mind games with our OCD. When my own OCD was worst over 20 yrs ago, I could not plan an overnight or longer trip away from my apartment. If I did and then tried to leave, the checking rituals would be both exhausting and time consuming. If I told myself I was just going to work and did not pack anything, the rituals were still there but not as bad. Once I got to work, I could call my parents and tell them I had decided to come after all--and could I borrow a nightgown (because I could not pack). I did this more than once, so at some level, I must have known I might go away overnight--but I could not pack and prepare for the trip in > > advance because that would make the rituals much worse when it was time to leave the apartment. > > > > Best wishes, whatever you decide. > > > > (mom w/OCD, almost 12 yo dd w/OCD, 9.5 yo dd w/ tics and possible just right OCD) > > > > ________________________________ > > > > To: > > Sent: Friday, March 23, 2012 9:05 PM > > Subject: Re: Re: family rituals > > > > From what husband reports, Lindner Center wants clean clothes and will change him if he is not clean. Because he is not in life-threatening situation, I don't know if emergency room will even take, or Medicaid will pay. > > > > That is a great point about ER being used to all kinds of stuff. We're talking he has peed out repeatedly over last 2-3 months because couldn't get hands washed in time and hates going to bathroom, and has not changed those jeans. > > > > So I started talking to him about this process and he said he would be able to shower and change at the ER! Really? It turns out that living here with his dad is a HUGE issue, therapist never really validated. Son would put on new clothes after showering but not clothes from home. If ER would not take him, he might consider going to motel and showering and changing there, as long as he knows he's on his way to the center. This is a boy who has not showered for six months. > > > > He might be able to stay at motel if doctor orders lab tests and everything takes awhile. I thought everything " out there " was dirty, but it seems it's related to where dad has been and what dad has touched (like, it was just the car seat that was dirty, not everything else.) > > > > He doesn't really know if the motel would " work " or not, in terms of feeling clean enough and him being able to put on different clothes. Said he would think about it. He's been up about 30 hours on this go-round and just took the melatonin. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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