Guest guest Posted March 14, 2008 Report Share Posted March 14, 2008 Tough one Gwen! My daughter needed dx for funding. But I always hoped that she would outgrow her dx. and we would not have to deal with the automatic response from a dx of autism...? You can tell your daughter in private and she is only 10 so she may find her way yet through the social mazes of life... I don't like labelling in schools especially? take care there is no clear cut answers. go slow and with your gut Darby's mom gwenmoyers wrote: Hello, I just took my almost 10 year old to the doctor because of her increasing anxiety and tantrums. Her younger sister has Autism and although she has always had autistic tendencies, it has not gotten in the way of much as she has friends and does well in school (although she is immature with friends and has told me she would rather be alone or spend time with animals). The doctor is treating her anxiety, but said he didn't think I should pursue an Asperger's diagnosis because she would feel like something was " wrong " with her, and that she just had some tendencies, etc. I guess my question is do you all think it is important that a child have the diagnosis to better understand why she is different than other children, or if it is this mild (she has a number of symptoms) just let it go? I know as a parent, it was a huge relief to have my younger daughter diagnosed as it helps me and others to understand why she is the way she is....I just feel that keeping it a secret from the child is not fair? I am also afraid to address it, because my daughter with Autism was extremely hard to have diagnosed and it was obvious that she has Autism....I know it will be hard for them to believe my 10 year old has it Thanks for listening and for your input. Gwen --------------------------------- Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2008 Report Share Posted March 14, 2008 Thank you for your input....you are right, it is a hard one. If she did receive that diagnosis, I probably wouldn't even tell school unless she needed help later down the road. She does really well as far as grades go. I will go slow and it will work out. Thanks again, Gwen > Hello, > I just took my almost 10 year old to the doctor because of her > increasing anxiety and tantrums. Her younger sister has Autism and > although she has always had autistic tendencies, it has not gotten in > the way of much as she has friends and does well in school (although > she is immature with friends and has told me she would rather be alone > or spend time with animals). The doctor is treating her anxiety, but > said he didn't think I should pursue an Asperger's diagnosis because > she would feel like something was " wrong " with her, and that she just > had some tendencies, etc. I guess my question is do you all think it > is important that a child have the diagnosis to better understand why > she is different than other children, or if it is this mild (she has a > number of symptoms) just let it go? I know as a parent, it was a huge > relief to have my younger daughter diagnosed as it helps me and others > to understand why she is the way she is....I just feel that keeping it > a secret from the child is not fair? I am also afraid to address it, > because my daughter with Autism was extremely hard to have diagnosed > and it was obvious that she has Autism....I know it will be hard for > them to believe my 10 year old has it Thanks for listening and for > your input. Gwen > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2008 Report Share Posted March 14, 2008 Hi Gwen: I totally understand what you're going through with this. When I started realizing that my daughter behaved more like a child with Asperger's than a child with ADHD I struggled with whether or not I should get her " relabeled. " I, unfortunately put it off and listened to her pediatrician who, comparing her to boys that where patients of his with Asperger's, disagreed with my suspicions. I waited and watched wondering if it was worth getting a dx, because she was truly so high functioning and I didn't think I'd get anymore services than I was with the ADHD dx. I finally decided to insist on a referral for testing and the ped. reluctantly gave me the information I needed. And indeed she was diagnosed with Asperger's. In retrospect I wish I hadn't waited so long. already knew she was " different " from the other kids but didn't understand why. After the diagnosis, she had a better understanding of who she was and has made great improvements in all areas in the three years since her diagnosis. When I look back I want to kick myself for not insisting sooner. I had been struggling to get a diagnosis since she was four. Got ADDED diagnosis when she was in 2nd grade. The medication prescribed helped greatly with her attention and focus. It did greatly reduce the temper tantrums, the ones that were caused by her not being able to focus enough to process information. But it still didn't solve all of her problems. But now she knows how her brain works and is so much better at explaining her frustrations (most of the time anyway, lol). She is who she is and I love her for all of who she is. gwenmoyers wrote: Hello, I just took my almost 10 year old to the doctor because of her increasing anxiety and tantrums. Her younger sister has Autism and although she has always had autistic tendencies, it has not gotten in the way of much as she has friends and does well in school (although she is immature with friends and has told me she would rather be alone or spend time with animals). The doctor is treating her anxiety, but said he didn't think I should pursue an Asperger's diagnosis because she would feel like something was " wrong " with her, and that she just had some tendencies, etc. I guess my question is do you all think it is important that a child have the diagnosis to better understand why she is different than other children, or if it is this mild (she has a number of symptoms) just let it go? I know as a parent, it was a huge relief to have my younger daughter diagnosed as it helps me and others to understand why she is the way she is....I just feel that keeping it a secret from the child is not fair? I am also afraid to address it, because my daughter with Autism was extremely hard to have diagnosed and it was obvious that she has Autism....I know it will be hard for them to believe my 10 year old has it Thanks for listening and for your input. Gwen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2008 Report Share Posted March 14, 2008 I have been going through something similar with my girl and we did finally find a psychologist who strongly believes it is aspergers or HFA and has gotten our pediatrician to see it, and we are getting a full medical eval at the children's hospital. I think so much of this issue is related to the different ways our girls often express AS compared to the way many boys do. I know that is why I myself thought " naaaaah " every time the possibility came up before. It is really a disservice to girls who have it, to not get the correct information about what their brains and bodies need. I really believe that. > Hi Gwen: > I totally understand what you're going through with this. When I > started realizing that my daughter behaved more like a child with > Asperger's than a child with ADHD I struggled with whether or not I > should get her " relabeled. " I, unfortunately put it off and > listened to her pediatrician who, comparing her to boys that where > patients of his with Asperger's, disagreed with my suspicions. I > waited and watched wondering if it was worth getting a dx, because > she was truly so high functioning and I didn't think I'd get > anymore services than I was with the ADHD dx. I finally decided to > insist on a referral for testing and the ped. reluctantly gave me > the information I needed. And indeed she was diagnosed with > Asperger's. In retrospect I wish I hadn't waited so long. > already knew she was " different " from the other kids but didn't > understand why. After the diagnosis, she had a better understanding > of who she was and has made great improvements i! n all areas in the > three years since her diagnosis. When I look back I want to kick > myself for not insisting sooner. I had been struggling to get a > diagnosis since she was four. Got ADDED diagnosis when she was in > 2nd grade. The medication prescribed helped greatly with her > attention and focus. It did greatly reduce the temper tantrums, the > ones that were caused by her not being able to focus enough to > process information. But it still didn't solve all of her problems. > But now she knows how her brain works and is so much better at > explaining her frustrations (most of the time anyway, lol). She is > who she is and I love her for all of who she is. > > gwenmoyers wrote: > Hello, > I just took my almost 10 year old to the doctor because of her > increasing anxiety and tantrums. Her younger sister has Autism and > although she has always had autistic tendencies, it has not gotten in > the way of much as she has friends and does well in school (although > she is immature with friends and has told me she would rather be alone > or spend time with animals). The doctor is treating her anxiety, but > said he didn't think I should pursue an Asperger's diagnosis because > she would feel like something was " wrong " with her, and that she just > had some tendencies, etc. I guess my question is do you all think it > is important that a child have the diagnosis to better understand why > she is different than other children, or if it is this mild (she has a > number of symptoms) just let it go? I know as a parent, it was a huge > relief to have my younger daughter diagnosed as it helps me and others > to understand why she is the way she is....I just feel that keeping it > a secret from the child is not fair? I am also afraid to address it, > because my daughter with Autism was extremely hard to have diagnosed > and it was obvious that she has Autism....I know it will be hard for > them to believe my 10 year old has it Thanks for listening and for > your input. Gwen > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2008 Report Share Posted March 14, 2008 I went through a similar situation with my daughter. When she was in preschool she had a lot of difficulty getting along with others and following the rules. The same in kindergarten. We decided to have her repeat kindergarten because she was " immature. " She then got the ADD/ADHD diagnosis. I talked to the Dr. about possible Asperger's diagnosis, and he said he did not think it was that because ADD kids have similar social issues. After a couple of more years, when she would come home crying because no one would play with her, I took her to the area TEACCH program to have her evaluated. Getting some of her teachers to believe us is sometimes a problem, they say they don't see it but then tell me she has a melt down because the teacher gave the directions in a different way. She got her diagnosis at 8yrs. old (which is also the average age of Asperger's diagnosis). She is now 11, every year her asperger's become more obvious to all around her, she says she does not fit it. We have been working on social skills, time management (she has no concept of how much time passes), sleeping at night. She is obsessed about video games to the point where I have had to lock them up to keep her from playing them during the night. Knowing the diagnosis has helped me to know why she does the things she does. We have told her about it and what it means- just that she is good at somethings (like math) and not good at other things(like social skills). We have been fortunate that she is very intelligent and can pick things up quickly. Although, the other kids think she is a know it all. The sad thing about waiting to get her diagnosed, is that I have been teaching autistic children for many years, since before she was born, as a professional I should have known, but I in denial. She still has her ADD/ADHD diagnosis also- she has no impulse control - for someone so smart she worries me- last month at school she tried to leave the school campus to explore an abandoned house near the school, fortunately the janitor stopped her. She does things like that a lot, even with my husband teaching at her school, but her school is small about 200 kids, and everyone knows her and looks out for her. Aspergers diagnosis? Hello, I just took my almost 10 year old to the doctor because of her increasing anxiety and tantrums. Her younger sister has Autism and although she has always had autistic tendencies, it has not gotten in the way of much as she has friends and does well in school (although she is immature with friends and has told me she would rather be alone or spend time with animals). The doctor is treating her anxiety, but said he didn't think I should pursue an Asperger's diagnosis because she would feel like something was " wrong " with her, and that she just had some tendencies, etc. I guess my question is do you all think it is important that a child have the diagnosis to better understand why she is different than other children, or if it is this mild (she has a number of symptoms) just let it go? I know as a parent, it was a huge relief to have my younger daughter diagnosed as it helps me and others to understand why she is the way she is....I just feel that keeping it a secret from the child is not fair? I am also afraid to address it, because my daughter with Autism was extremely hard to have diagnosed and it was obvious that she has Autism....I know it will be hard for them to believe my 10 year old has it Thanks for listening and for your input. Gwen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 16, 2008 Report Share Posted March 16, 2008 I agree! My youngest has Autism and although we had her evaluated a number of times...they would say " well, she is too affectionate to have Autism " even though she had so many of the characteristics. We did not get her diagnosis until she was six. I really wish that there was a scale that was more tailored to females for diagnosing Autism. Girls are innately more affectionate and compassionate than males whether they have Autism or not, and this is what keeps them from being properly diagnosed. Let us know what you find out at her evaluation at children's hospital. Good luck, Gwen Re: Aspergers diagnosis? I have been going through something similar with my girl and we did finally find a psychologist who strongly believes it is aspergers or HFA and has gotten our pediatrician to see it, and we are getting a full medical eval at the children's hospital. I think so much of this issue is related to the different ways our girls often express AS compared to the way many boys do. I know that is why I myself thought " naaaaah " every time the possibility came up before. It is really a disservice to girls who have it, to not get the correct information about what their brains and bodies need. I really believe that. > Hi Gwen: > I totally understand what you're going through with this. When I > started realizing that my daughter behaved more like a child with > Asperger's than a child with ADHD I struggled with whether or not I > should get her " relabeled. " I, unfortunately put it off and > listened to her pediatrician who, comparing her to boys that where > patients of his with Asperger's, disagreed with my suspicions. I > waited and watched wondering if it was worth getting a dx, because > she was truly so high functioning and I didn't think I'd get > anymore services than I was with the ADHD dx. I finally decided to > insist on a referral for testing and the ped. reluctantly gave me > the information I needed. And indeed she was diagnosed with > Asperger's. In retrospect I wish I hadn't waited so long. > already knew she was " different " from the other kids but didn't > understand why. After the diagnosis, she had a better understanding > of who she was and has made great improvements i! n all areas in the > three years since her diagnosis. When I look back I want to kick > myself for not insisting sooner. I had been struggling to get a > diagnosis since she was four. Got ADDED diagnosis when she was in > 2nd grade. The medication prescribed helped greatly with her > attention and focus. It did greatly reduce the temper tantrums, the > ones that were caused by her not being able to focus enough to > process information. But it still didn't solve all of her problems. > But now she knows how her brain works and is so much better at > explaining her frustrations (most of the time anyway, lol). She is > who she is and I love her for all of who she is. > > gwenmoyers wrote: > Hello, > I just took my almost 10 year old to the doctor because of her > increasing anxiety and tantrums. Her younger sister has Autism and > although she has always had autistic tendencies, it has not gotten in > the way of much as she has friends and does well in school (although > she is immature with friends and has told me she would rather be alone > or spend time with animals). The doctor is treating her anxiety, but > said he didn't think I should pursue an Asperger's diagnosis because > she would feel like something was " wrong " with her, and that she just > had some tendencies, etc. I guess my question is do you all think it > is important that a child have the diagnosis to better understand why > she is different than other children, or if it is this mild (she has a > number of symptoms) just let it go? I know as a parent, it was a huge > relief to have my younger daughter diagnosed as it helps me and others > to understand why she is the way she is....I just feel that keeping it > a secret from the child is not fair? I am also afraid to address it, > because my daughter with Autism was extremely hard to have diagnosed > and it was obvious that she has Autism....I know it will be hard for > them to believe my 10 year old has it Thanks for listening and for > your input. Gwen > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 16, 2008 Report Share Posted March 16, 2008 My daughter is almost OVERLY affectionate. Something that I LOVE, and don't know how I could handle it if she weren't! I think about all those poor parents whose children aren't affectionate, and it just reminds me of how lucky I am. Lynn Shoop www.mycmsite.com/lynnshoop Re: Aspergers diagnosis? I agree! My youngest has Autism and although we had her evaluated a number of times...they would say " well, she is too affectionate to have Autism " even though she had so many of the characteristics. We did not get her diagnosis until she was six. I really wish that there was a scale that was more tailored to females for diagnosing Autism. Girls are innately more affectionate and compassionate than males whether they have Autism or not, and this is what keeps them from being properly diagnosed. Let us know what you find out at her evaluation at children's hospital. Good luck, Gwen Re: Aspergers diagnosis? I have been going through something similar with my girl and we did finally find a psychologist who strongly believes it is aspergers or HFA and has gotten our pediatrician to see it, and we are getting a full medical eval at the children's hospital. I think so much of this issue is related to the different ways our girls often express AS compared to the way many boys do. I know that is why I myself thought " naaaaah " every time the possibility came up before. It is really a disservice to girls who have it, to not get the correct information about what their brains and bodies need. I really believe that. > Hi Gwen: > I totally understand what you're going through with this. When I > started realizing that my daughter behaved more like a child with > Asperger's than a child with ADHD I struggled with whether or not I > should get her " relabeled. " I, unfortunately put it off and > listened to her pediatrician who, comparing her to boys that where > patients of his with Asperger's, disagreed with my suspicions. I > waited and watched wondering if it was worth getting a dx, because > she was truly so high functioning and I didn't think I'd get > anymore services than I was with the ADHD dx. I finally decided to > insist on a referral for testing and the ped. reluctantly gave me > the information I needed. And indeed she was diagnosed with > Asperger's. In retrospect I wish I hadn't waited so long. > already knew she was " different " from the other kids but didn't > understand why. After the diagnosis, she had a better understanding > of who she was and has made great improvements i! n all areas in the > three years since her diagnosis. When I look back I want to kick > myself for not insisting sooner. I had been struggling to get a > diagnosis since she was four. Got ADDED diagnosis when she was in > 2nd grade. The medication prescribed helped greatly with her > attention and focus. It did greatly reduce the temper tantrums, the > ones that were caused by her not being able to focus enough to > process information. But it still didn't solve all of her problems. > But now she knows how her brain works and is so much better at > explaining her frustrations (most of the time anyway, lol). She is > who she is and I love her for all of who she is. > > gwenmoyers < gmoyers@... <mailto:gmoyers%40gmail.com> > wrote: > Hello, > I just took my almost 10 year old to the doctor because of her > increasing anxiety and tantrums. Her younger sister has Autism and > although she has always had autistic tendencies, it has not gotten in > the way of much as she has friends and does well in school (although > she is immature with friends and has told me she would rather be alone > or spend time with animals). The doctor is treating her anxiety, but > said he didn't think I should pursue an Asperger's diagnosis because > she would feel like something was " wrong " with her, and that she just > had some tendencies, etc. I guess my question is do you all think it > is important that a child have the diagnosis to better understand why > she is different than other children, or if it is this mild (she has a > number of symptoms) just let it go? I know as a parent, it was a huge > relief to have my younger daughter diagnosed as it helps me and others > to understand why she is the way she is....I just feel that keeping it > a secret from the child is not fair? I am also afraid to address it, > because my daughter with Autism was extremely hard to have diagnosed > and it was obvious that she has Autism....I know it will be hard for > them to believe my 10 year old has it Thanks for listening and for > your input. Gwen > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 16, 2008 Report Share Posted March 16, 2008 I think the hardest thing for me is when she acts so sweet at school. When I tell them of the terrible meltdowns.... " aww, not Audrey, she is so sweet; we don't believe she could ever do that. " I feel like they think I am making it up. Don't get me wrong, I am glad that she is good at school and would rather it just be at home, but it is very difficult for me and our family. My older daughter (that I am questioning Aspergers) is the same way. She has these major meltdowns at home. She is far more mild than my daughter with Autism and functions well at school. I don't think the teachers would believe us if she were diagnosed Girls are not by nature as physical as boys and they do " care " about others feelings...therefore their signs seem different. Also females are more empathic and selfless, so it makes sense that a girl with Autism is going to be stronger in those areas than boys would be, hence the lovely " oh, she is compassionate towards others so nope, can't be Autism " grrr! Gwen Re: Aspergers diagnosis? >> > >> > I have been going through something similar with my girl and we did >> > finally find a psychologist who strongly believes it is aspergers or >> > HFA and has gotten our pediatrician to see it, and we are getting a >> > full medical eval at the children's hospital. I think so much of >> this >> > issue is related to the different ways our girls often express AS >> > compared to the way many boys do. I know that is why I myself >> thought >> > " naaaaah " every time the possibility came up before. >> > >> > It is really a disservice to girls who have it, to not get the >> > correct information about what their brains and bodies need. I >> really >> > believe that. >> > >> > >> > >> >> Hi Gwen: >> >> I totally understand what you're going through with this. When I >> >> started realizing that my daughter behaved more like a child with >> >> Asperger's than a child with ADHD I struggled with whether or not I >> >> should get her " relabeled. " I, unfortunately put it off and >> >> listened to her pediatrician who, comparing her to boys that where >> >> patients of his with Asperger's, disagreed with my suspicions. I >> >> waited and watched wondering if it was worth getting a dx, because >> >> she was truly so high functioning and I didn't think I'd get >> >> anymore services than I was with the ADHD dx. I finally decided to >> >> insist on a referral for testing and the ped. reluctantly gave me >> >> the information I needed. And indeed she was diagnosed with >> >> Asperger's. In retrospect I wish I hadn't waited so long. >> >> already knew she was " different " from the other kids but didn't >> >> understand why. After the diagnosis, she had a better understanding >> >> of who she was and has made great improvements i! n all areas in >> the >> >> three years since her diagnosis. When I look back I want to kick >> >> myself for not insisting sooner. I had been struggling to get a >> >> diagnosis since she was four. Got ADDED diagnosis when she was in >> >> 2nd grade. The medication prescribed helped greatly with her >> >> attention and focus. It did greatly reduce the temper tantrums, the >> >> ones that were caused by her not being able to focus enough to >> >> process information. But it still didn't solve all of her problems. >> >> But now she knows how her brain works and is so much better at >> >> explaining her frustrations (most of the time anyway, lol). She is >> >> who she is and I love her for all of who she is. >> >> >> >> gwenmoyers < gmoyers@... <mailto:gmoyers%40gmail.com> > >> wrote: >> >> Hello, >> >> I just took my almost 10 year old to the doctor because of her >> >> increasing anxiety and tantrums. Her younger sister has Autism and >> >> although she has always had autistic tendencies, it has not >> gotten in >> >> the way of much as she has friends and does well in school >> (although >> >> she is immature with friends and has told me she would rather be >> alone >> >> or spend time with animals). The doctor is treating her anxiety, >> but >> >> said he didn't think I should pursue an Asperger's diagnosis >> because >> >> she would feel like something was " wrong " with her, and that she >> just >> >> had some tendencies, etc. I guess my question is do you all >> think it >> >> is important that a child have the diagnosis to better >> understand why >> >> she is different than other children, or if it is this mild (she >> has a >> >> number of symptoms) just let it go? I know as a parent, it was a >> huge >> >> relief to have my younger daughter diagnosed as it helps me and >> others >> >> to understand why she is the way she is....I just feel that >> keeping it >> >> a secret from the child is not fair? I am also afraid to address >> it, >> >> because my daughter with Autism was extremely hard to have >> diagnosed >> >> and it was obvious that she has Autism....I know it will be hard >> for >> >> them to believe my 10 year old has it Thanks for listening >> and for >> >> your input. Gwen >> >> >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 16, 2008 Report Share Posted March 16, 2008 Girls tend to be much more eager to please. In a message dated 3/16/2008 12:43:21 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, gmoyers@... writes: I think the hardest thing for me is when she acts so sweet at school. When I tell them of the terrible meltdowns...I tell them of the terrible meltdowns... we don't believe she could ever do that. " I feel like they think I am making it up. Don't get me wrong, I am glad that she is good at school and would rather it just be at home, but it is very difficult for me and our family. My older daughter (that I am questioning Aspergers) is the same way. She has these major meltdowns at home. She is far more mild than my daughter with Autism and functions well at school. I don't think the teachers would believe us if she were diagnosed Girls are not by nature as physical as boys and they do " care " about others feelings...thereforas their signs seem different. Also females are more empathic and selfless, so it makes sense that a girl with Autism is going to be stronger in those areas than boys would be, hence the lovely " oh, she is compassionate towards others so nope, can't be Autism " grrr! Gwen Re: Aspergers diagnosis? >> > >> > I have been going through something similar with my girl and we did >> > finally find a psychologist who strongly believes it is aspergers or >> > HFA and has gotten our pediatrician to see it, and we are getting a >> > full medical eval at the children's hospital. I think so much of >> this >> > issue is related to the different ways our girls often express AS >> > compared to the way many boys do. I know that is why I myself >> thought >> > " naaaaah " every time the possibility came up before. >> > >> > It is really a disservice to girls who have it, to not get the >> > correct information about what their brains and bodies need. I >> really >> > believe that. >> > >> > >> > >> >> Hi Gwen: >> >> I totally understand what you're going through with this. When I >> >> started realizing that my daughter behaved more like a child with >> >> Asperger's than a child with ADHD I struggled with whether or not I >> >> should get her " relabeled. " I, unfortunately put it off and >> >> listened to her pediatrician who, comparing her to boys that where >> >> patients of his with Asperger's, disagreed with my suspicions. I >> >> waited and watched wondering if it was worth getting a dx, because >> >> she was truly so high functioning and I didn't think I'd get >> >> anymore services than I was with the ADHD dx. I finally decided to >> >> insist on a referral for testing and the ped. reluctantly gave me >> >> the information I needed. And indeed she was diagnosed with >> >> Asperger's. In retrospect I wish I hadn't waited so long. >> >> already knew she was " different " from the other kids but didn't >> >> understand why. After the diagnosis, she had a better understanding >> >> of who she was and has made great improvements i! n all areas in >> the >> >> three years since her diagnosis. When I look back I want to kick >> >> myself for not insisting sooner. I had been struggling to get a >> >> diagnosis since she was four. Got ADDED diagnosis when she was in >> >> 2nd grade. The medication prescribed helped greatly with her >> >> attention and focus. It did greatly reduce the temper tantrums, the >> >> ones that were caused by her not being able to focus enough to >> >> process information. But it still didn't solve all of her problems. >> >> But now she knows how her brain works and is so much better at >> >> explaining her frustrations (most of the time anyway, lol). She is >> >> who she is and I love her for all of who she is. >> >> >> >> gwenmoyers < _gmoyers@..._ (mailto:gmoyers@...) <mailto:gmoyers%mailto:gmoy> > >> wrote: >> >> Hello, >> >> I just took my almost 10 year old to the doctor because of her >> >> increasing anxiety and tantrums. Her younger sister has Autism and >> >> although she has always had autistic tendencies, it has not >> gotten in >> >> the way of much as she has friends and does well in school >> (although >> >> she is immature with friends and has told me she would rather be >> alone >> >> or spend time with animals). The doctor is treating her anxiety, >> but >> >> said he didn't think I should pursue an Asperger's diagnosis >> because >> >> she would feel like something was " wrong " with her, and that she >> just >> >> had some tendencies, etc. I guess my question is do you all >> think it >> >> is important that a child have the diagnosis to better >> understand why >> >> she is different than other children, or if it is this mild (she >> has a >> >> number of symptoms) just let it go? I know as a parent, it was a >> huge >> >> relief to have my younger daughter diagnosed as it helps me and >> others >> >> to understand why she is the way she is....I just feel that >> keeping it >> >> a secret from the child is not fair? I am also afraid to address >> it, >> >> because my daughter with Autism was extremely hard to have >> diagnosed >> >> and it was obvious that she has Autism....I know it will be hard >> for >> >> them to believe my 10 year old has it Thanks for listening >> and for >> >> your input. Gwen >> >> >> >> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > >> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] >> > >> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 16, 2008 Report Share Posted March 16, 2008 You've got that right, Lynn. I waited 5 years before my girl was comfortable giving me a face-to-face hug. At 4 she started letting us hug her, but she would roll into us, turning around as she drew close so that we would be hugging her from behind. At 5 she let us hug facing one another but it was very tentative and uncomfortable for her, and we were sensitive to that, not insisting that she press in. Now, at 9, FINALLY she gives us the most wonderful hugs! When I get home every day I find her and open my arms wide and stand there, looking at her, and no matter what she's doing, her little face starts to light up as she puts down her book/toy/whatever and she RUNS into my arms, hugging me back with a tight hug! That first 4 years was so hard, when all I wanted to do was hug her over and over! Patience finally paid off. LOL I was so envious of parents whose kids were snugglers and affectionate. I just couldn't wait to hug my girl! But I had to. :-) Don _____ From: Autism_in_Girls [mailto:Autism_in_Girls ] On Behalf Of Lynn Shoop Sent: Sunday, March 16, 2008 9:10 AM To: Autism_in_Girls Subject: RE: Aspergers diagnosis? My daughter is almost OVERLY affectionate. Something that I LOVE, and don't know how I could handle it if she weren't! I think about all those poor parents whose children aren't affectionate, and it just reminds me of how lucky I am. Lynn Shoop www.mycmsite.-com/lynnshoop Re: Aspergers diagnosis? I agree! My youngest has Autism and although we had her evaluated a number of times...they would say " well, she is too affectionate to have Autism " even though she had so many of the characteristics. We did not get her diagnosis until she was six. I really wish that there was a scale that was more tailored to females for diagnosing Autism. Girls are innately more affectionate and compassionate than males whether they have Autism or not, and this is what keeps them from being properly diagnosed. Let us know what you find out at her evaluation at children's hospital. Good luck, Gwen Re: Aspergers diagnosis? I have been going through something similar with my girl and we did finally find a psychologist who strongly believes it is aspergers or HFA and has gotten our pediatrician to see it, and we are getting a full medical eval at the children's hospital. I think so much of this issue is related to the different ways our girls often express AS compared to the way many boys do. I know that is why I myself thought " naaaaah " every time the possibility came up before. It is really a disservice to girls who have it, to not get the correct information about what their brains and bodies need. I really believe that. > Hi Gwen: > I totally understand what you're going through with this. When I > started realizing that my daughter behaved more like a child with > Asperger's than a child with ADHD I struggled with whether or not I > should get her " relabeled. " I, unfortunately put it off and > listened to her pediatrician who, comparing her to boys that where > patients of his with Asperger's, disagreed with my suspicions. I > waited and watched wondering if it was worth getting a dx, because > she was truly so high functioning and I didn't think I'd get > anymore services than I was with the ADHD dx. I finally decided to > insist on a referral for testing and the ped. reluctantly gave me > the information I needed. And indeed she was diagnosed with > Asperger's. In retrospect I wish I hadn't waited so long. > already knew she was " different " from the other kids but didn't > understand why. After the diagnosis, she had a better understanding > of who she was and has made great improvements i! n all areas in the > three years since her diagnosis. When I look back I want to kick > myself for not insisting sooner. I had been struggling to get a > diagnosis since she was four. Got ADDED diagnosis when she was in > 2nd grade. The medication prescribed helped greatly with her > attention and focus. It did greatly reduce the temper tantrums, the > ones that were caused by her not being able to focus enough to > process information. But it still didn't solve all of her problems. > But now she knows how her brain works and is so much better at > explaining her frustrations (most of the time anyway, lol). She is > who she is and I love her for all of who she is. > > gwenmoyers < HYPERLINK " mailto:gmoyers%40gmail.com " gmoyersgmail (DOT) -com <mailto:gmoyers%-40gmail.com> > wrote: > Hello, > I just took my almost 10 year old to the doctor because of her > increasing anxiety and tantrums. Her younger sister has Autism and > although she has always had autistic tendencies, it has not gotten in > the way of much as she has friends and does well in school (although > she is immature with friends and has told me she would rather be alone > or spend time with animals). The doctor is treating her anxiety, but > said he didn't think I should pursue an Asperger's diagnosis because > she would feel like something was " wrong " with her, and that she just > had some tendencies, etc. I guess my question is do you all think it > is important that a child have the diagnosis to better understand why > she is different than other children, or if it is this mild (she has a > number of symptoms) just let it go? I know as a parent, it was a huge > relief to have my younger daughter diagnosed as it helps me and others > to understand why she is the way she is....I just feel that keeping it > a secret from the child is not fair? I am also afraid to address it, > because my daughter with Autism was extremely hard to have diagnosed > and it was obvious that she has Autism....I know it will be hard for > them to believe my 10 year old has it Thanks for listening and for > your input. Gwen > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 16, 2008 Report Share Posted March 16, 2008 Melody gives the " roll in " kind of hugs too, for the most part, but if I pick her up, and she's facing me, she will give " real " hugs. I don't mind either way! Lynn Shoop www.mycmsite.com/lynnshoop Re: Aspergers diagnosis? I agree! My youngest has Autism and although we had her evaluated a number of times...they would say " well, she is too affectionate to have Autism " even though she had so many of the characteristics. We did not get her diagnosis until she was six. I really wish that there was a scale that was more tailored to females for diagnosing Autism. Girls are innately more affectionate and compassionate than males whether they have Autism or not, and this is what keeps them from being properly diagnosed. Let us know what you find out at her evaluation at children's hospital. Good luck, Gwen Re: Aspergers diagnosis? I have been going through something similar with my girl and we did finally find a psychologist who strongly believes it is aspergers or HFA and has gotten our pediatrician to see it, and we are getting a full medical eval at the children's hospital. I think so much of this issue is related to the different ways our girls often express AS compared to the way many boys do. I know that is why I myself thought " naaaaah " every time the possibility came up before. It is really a disservice to girls who have it, to not get the correct information about what their brains and bodies need. I really believe that. > Hi Gwen: > I totally understand what you're going through with this. When I > started realizing that my daughter behaved more like a child with > Asperger's than a child with ADHD I struggled with whether or not I > should get her " relabeled. " I, unfortunately put it off and > listened to her pediatrician who, comparing her to boys that where > patients of his with Asperger's, disagreed with my suspicions. I > waited and watched wondering if it was worth getting a dx, because > she was truly so high functioning and I didn't think I'd get > anymore services than I was with the ADHD dx. I finally decided to > insist on a referral for testing and the ped. reluctantly gave me > the information I needed. And indeed she was diagnosed with > Asperger's. In retrospect I wish I hadn't waited so long. > already knew she was " different " from the other kids but didn't > understand why. After the diagnosis, she had a better understanding > of who she was and has made great improvements i! n all areas in the > three years since her diagnosis. When I look back I want to kick > myself for not insisting sooner. I had been struggling to get a > diagnosis since she was four. Got ADDED diagnosis when she was in > 2nd grade. The medication prescribed helped greatly with her > attention and focus. It did greatly reduce the temper tantrums, the > ones that were caused by her not being able to focus enough to > process information. But it still didn't solve all of her problems. > But now she knows how her brain works and is so much better at > explaining her frustrations (most of the time anyway, lol). She is > who she is and I love her for all of who she is. > > gwenmoyers < HYPERLINK " mailto:gmoyers%40gmail.com " gmoyersgmail (DOT) -com <mailto:gmoyers%-40gmail.com> > wrote: > Hello, > I just took my almost 10 year old to the doctor because of her > increasing anxiety and tantrums. Her younger sister has Autism and > although she has always had autistic tendencies, it has not gotten in > the way of much as she has friends and does well in school (although > she is immature with friends and has told me she would rather be alone > or spend time with animals). The doctor is treating her anxiety, but > said he didn't think I should pursue an Asperger's diagnosis because > she would feel like something was " wrong " with her, and that she just > had some tendencies, etc. I guess my question is do you all think it > is important that a child have the diagnosis to better understand why > she is different than other children, or if it is this mild (she has a > number of symptoms) just let it go? I know as a parent, it was a huge > relief to have my younger daughter diagnosed as it helps me and others > to understand why she is the way she is....I just feel that keeping it > a secret from the child is not fair? I am also afraid to address it, > because my daughter with Autism was extremely hard to have diagnosed > and it was obvious that she has Autism....I know it will be hard for > them to believe my 10 year old has it Thanks for listening and for > your input. Gwen > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 16, 2008 Report Share Posted March 16, 2008 Yes, you are right Gwen Re: Aspergers diagnosis? >>> > >>> > I have been going through something similar with my girl and we did >>> > finally find a psychologist who strongly believes it is aspergers or >>> > HFA and has gotten our pediatrician to see it, and we are getting a >>> > full medical eval at the children's hospital. I think so much of >>> this >>> > issue is related to the different ways our girls often express AS >>> > compared to the way many boys do. I know that is why I myself >>> thought >>> > " naaaaah " every time the possibility came up before. >>> > >>> > It is really a disservice to girls who have it, to not get the >>> > correct information about what their brains and bodies need. I >>> really >>> > believe that. >>> > >>> > >>> > >>> >> Hi Gwen: >>> >> I totally understand what you're going through with this. When I >>> >> started realizing that my daughter behaved more like a child with >>> >> Asperger's than a child with ADHD I struggled with whether or not I >>> >> should get her " relabeled. " I, unfortunately put it off and >>> >> listened to her pediatrician who, comparing her to boys that where >>> >> patients of his with Asperger's, disagreed with my suspicions. I >>> >> waited and watched wondering if it was worth getting a dx, because >>> >> she was truly so high functioning and I didn't think I'd get >>> >> anymore services than I was with the ADHD dx. I finally decided to >>> >> insist on a referral for testing and the ped. reluctantly gave me >>> >> the information I needed. And indeed she was diagnosed with >>> >> Asperger's. In retrospect I wish I hadn't waited so long. >>> >> already knew she was " different " from the other kids but didn't >>> >> understand why. After the diagnosis, she had a better understanding >>> >> of who she was and has made great improvements i! n all areas in >>> the >>> >> three years since her diagnosis. When I look back I want to kick >>> >> myself for not insisting sooner. I had been struggling to get a >>> >> diagnosis since she was four. Got ADDED diagnosis when she was in >>> >> 2nd grade. The medication prescribed helped greatly with her >>> >> attention and focus. It did greatly reduce the temper tantrums, the >>> >> ones that were caused by her not being able to focus enough to >>> >> process information. But it still didn't solve all of her problems. >>> >> But now she knows how her brain works and is so much better at >>> >> explaining her frustrations (most of the time anyway, lol). She is >>> >> who she is and I love her for all of who she is. >>> >> >>> >> gwenmoyers < _gmoyers@..._ (mailto:gmoyers@...) > <mailto:gmoyers%mailto:gmoy> > >>> wrote: >>> >> Hello, >>> >> I just took my almost 10 year old to the doctor because of her >>> >> increasing anxiety and tantrums. Her younger sister has Autism and >>> >> although she has always had autistic tendencies, it has not >>> gotten in >>> >> the way of much as she has friends and does well in school >>> (although >>> >> she is immature with friends and has told me she would rather be >>> alone >>> >> or spend time with animals). The doctor is treating her anxiety, >>> but >>> >> said he didn't think I should pursue an Asperger's diagnosis >>> because >>> >> she would feel like something was " wrong " with her, and that she >>> just >>> >> had some tendencies, etc. I guess my question is do you all >>> think it >>> >> is important that a child have the diagnosis to better >>> understand why >>> >> she is different than other children, or if it is this mild (she >>> has a >>> >> number of symptoms) just let it go? I know as a parent, it was a >>> huge >>> >> relief to have my younger daughter diagnosed as it helps me and >>> others >>> >> to understand why she is the way she is....I just feel that >>> keeping it >>> >> a secret from the child is not fair? I am also afraid to address >>> it, >>> >> because my daughter with Autism was extremely hard to have >>> diagnosed >>> >> and it was obvious that she has Autism....I know it will be hard >>> for >>> >> them to believe my 10 year old has it Thanks for listening >>> and for >>> >> your input. Gwen >>> >> >>> >> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] >>> >> >>> >> >>> >> >>> > >>> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] >>> > >>> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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