Somebody please give me hope

[Guest guest]

I hate to be the downer, everyone seems positive lately with theories. Im beyond

confused as to what the next few years of my life will be.

Let me just be brutally honest about my situation, I dont care how " off " you

think I am, its just who I am and I don't deserve to be judged. Right now I have

a gorgeous girlfriend, the kind that would make your stick thump in your pants

just thinking about (whicw is why this is all the more tragic). She loves sex

and she's goooood at it. I can't feel a damn thing though.

This girl is the kind of thing I've wanted my whole life. If I could just feel

pleasure id be in heaven right now. Instead I'm uninterested in sex, in fact

many times my penis is too sensitive and causes me pain.

I just want to feel the pleasure of sex again, I want to feel the release of

tension, I want to feel the relief I used to get when I first " plug in " . I want

to feel frustrated and then relieved because I know I have a loving gf who will

relieve me. It's hard for me to be intimate with her.

Without that feeling I don't know how this will work out. Honestly ill probably

sabotage the relationship just because of how jealous I am of her previous bf. I

need sex, I don't want it, I think sex is a physical need for humans, i believe

a high sex drive is a good thing in nature contrary to what we've been taught by

fake Christians.

I can't believe how such a little change has twisted my life so much. Everything

is uncertain, I no longer have the ability to live for myself because there is

no longer any self interest I value in life without a penis, just how I feel,

don't judge. I'm not crying out for help when I say I'm very seriously

considering suicide as a way out of this pinch. I'm a handsome healthy 20 year

old guy, I shouldn't have to watch the prime of my life slip and waste away. My

life ended before it started, such a tragedy.