Haha - True - except for the New Zealand bit probably... but then again...

[Guest guest]

> 21 economic models explained using cows

>

>

>

> SOCIALISM

>

> You have 2 cows.

>

> You give one to your neighbour.

>

>

>

> COMMUNISM

>

> You have 2 cows.

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> The State takes both and gives you some milk.

>

>

>

> FASCISM

>

> You have 2 cows.

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> The State takes both and sells you some milk.

>

>

>

> NAZISM

>

> You have 2 cows.

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> The State takes both and shoots you.

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>

>

> BUREAUCRATISM

>

> You have 2 cows.

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> The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws

>

> the milk away...

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>

>

> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

>

> You have two cows.

>

> You sell one and buy a bull.

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> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

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> You sell them and retire on the income.

>

>

>

> SURREALISM

>

> You have two giraffes.

>

> The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

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>

>

> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

>

> You have two cows.

>

> You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

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> Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

>

>

>

> ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM

>

> You have two cows.

>

> You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using

>

> letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then

>

> execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that

>

> you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

>

> The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary

>

> to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority

>

> shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your

>

> listed company.

>

> The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option

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> on one more.

>

> You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States ,

>

> leaving you with nine cows.

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> No balance sheet provided with the release.

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> The public then buys your bull.

>

>

>

> A FRENCH CORPORATION

>

> You have two cows.

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> You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you

>

> want three cows.

>

>

>

> A JAPANESE CORPORATION

>

> You have two cows.

>

> You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow

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> and produce twenty times the milk.

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> You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and

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> market it worldwide.

>

>

>

> A GERMAN CORPORATION

>

> You have two cows.

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> You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,

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> and milk themselves.

>

>

>

> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

>

> You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

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> You decide to have lunch.

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>

>

> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

>

> You have two cows.

>

> You count them and learn you have five cows.

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> You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

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> You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.

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> You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

>

>

>

> A SWISS CORPORATION

>

> You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

>

> You charge the owners for storing them.

>

>

>

> A CHINESE CORPORATION

>

> You have two cows.

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> You have 300 people milking them.

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> You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

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> You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

>

>

>

> AN INDIAN CORPORATION

>

> You have two cows.

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> You worship them.

>

>

>

> A BRITISH CORPORATION

>

> You have two cows.

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> Both are mad.

>

>

>

> AN IRAQI CORPORATION

>

> Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

>

> You tell them that you have none.

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> No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade

>

> your country.

>

> You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a

Democracy....

>

>

>

> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

>

> You have two cows.

>

> Business seems pretty good.

>

> You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

>

>

>

> A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

>

> You have two cows.

>

> The one on the left looks very attractive