POLITICS - New Warning From Center for Disease Control

[Guest guest]

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new

virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is

contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior.

The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced " gonna re-elect him " ).

Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past

4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from

this especially troublesome disease.

Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim

include, but are not limited to: Anti-social personality disorder

traits; delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor;

chronic mangling of the English language; extreme cognitive

dissonance; inability to incorporate new information; pronounced

xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions;

exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado;

uncontrolled facial smirking; ignorance of geography and history;

tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies; and a strong

propensity for categorical, all-or nothing behavior.

The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists

are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a

few years ago in a Texas Bush.