Re: RIP Goodreau

[Guest guest]

I think the first 1-2 years of PSSD are torture. If you can get through that

period and get on some sort of program for recovery, eventually you'll have a

very manageable life and if you're lucky have a decent sex life as well.

I have a good idea how was feeling - I can remembering researching

different ways to commit suicide back in the early days. Eventually that passed

and I've learned to deal with it, as have most others here.

I feel terrible for and his family, however the people I've looked up to

on this board are the ones who are in the trenches fighting along with me.

Luther

> > >

> > > I simply meant that he had the personal strength to do what HE felt he

> > > needed to do. I don't say that suicide is admirable, nor do I, in any way,

> > > recommend that course of action to anyone here. However, it must be said:

> > > Suicide isn't always the act of a coward. I know that the Judeo-Christian

> > > tradition considers suicide evil. I used to be devout, so I know the

thinking.

> > > However, theology aside, there are certain things that are worse than

death.

> > > Do I think that impotence is worse than death? No. However, as we know,

> > > Pssd is far more than impotence. Viagra may give me an erection, but that

is

> > > the beggining and end of it's assistance. The destruction of a human

being's

> > > natural capacity to feel joy, might well be considered worse than death.

> > > Unlike those who are not afflicted, we here KNOW what meant when he

> > > said that he was dead before his suicide. He lost his music, he lost his

> > > mind, he lost his manhood. I don't encourage others to follow his example,

but

> > > I understand why he did what he did.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

In his letter it did not seem like he would be upset to have this information

exposed at this point. Does anyone know any contacts? It might do him some

justice to have the world know about PSSD and to stop others from ending up in

the same place.

> >

> > Is 's story being reported on the news? Most suicides like this are. We

need to to everything we can to make sure this makes international news to help

spread the word of PSSD and the hidden dangers of psych meds. He can be a martyr

for us. I was and still am so close to doing what did b/c I can't live

like this. What better way to spread the word than a suicide mentioning PSSD?

I'm sure CNN would do a segment on it.

>

[Guest guest]

I am very sorry to hear about , I was crying when I heard, this is so very tragic, I am so angry these drug companies have ruined so many lives, he didnt deserve to have his life ruined, none of us did, I wish so much he was alive and happy today and living his life. I am so sorry, at least he is at peace now.

There is hope of getting better, I have made a fifty percent recovery, I reckon it has to be near fifty percent by now, I had complete no feelings for two whole years because of the anti pychotic drug Depixol. I like to keep updating my story, I always read posts on here every day although I dont often post. Well a while ago now I took up some areobics and maybe coincedence but I started to recover some feelings, I then sadly quit the areobics now for the last few months because I have not felt fit enough but still my feelings have remained almost the same since then, they have reclined a little but I still have heaps more feeling than I did. I cry now quite often, before I could not cry atall, I have lots of romantic thoughts and feelings, when before I had none, I feel happier do lots of art and play piano and read and cook, I had lost interest in all these activities before. The only problem I do have is that in regards to actual orgasm it

is not an intense feeling like it used to be, it has got more pleasurable as before I could feel nothing for two years, I had no libido before for two years but now my desire to have sex is very strong, I can feel aroused for hours, but I do get frustrated because my orgasms are still not like they were, but still worth mastubating and I find it stress relieving.

I hope that one day I make a complete recovery but I am very grateful that I have recovered as much as I have, I never believed that recovery was possible but it is, please dont give up hope, anybody reading. The areobics is definately worth trying or some form of exercise.

I am so sorry about .

[Guest guest]

I don't think that most suicides like this are reported on the news. Some

families are very sensitive to having this kind of thing publicized. If you

read 's obituary you will notice that the service seems to have been held

at a Roman Catholic church. My husband, who was brought up Roman Catholic, was

surprised that they were granted a funeral through the church, seeing that

suicide is looked upon as a mortal sin.

Also, 's father is a professional who might not appreciate having the

reason for his son's death brought out into the open. I'm also wondering if we

would run into some legal problems if we were to expose it. Does anyone else

have any thoughts on the matter?

In anycase I am sure that the family is in much grief and we should definitely

try to respect their feelings at this very sad time.

Kay

> > >

> > > Hi everyone,

> > > I am Goodreau (kdgoodreau)'s best friend. He requested i let you

all know that he committed suicide on Oct 21. I have always believed his

disease, and that all of you probably suffer from the same thing. I dont know

what your opinions of him are, but you guys never " met " the real kev that ive

known since 1st grade. He was the most talented, smartest, sincerest person ive

ever known. And im not just saying that because thats what you normally tell

yourself and people when someone dies. He was good at everything he ever put his

mind to. He was an awesome musician. Funny as hell. Not a bad word you can say

about him. He really had no enemies, and was well liked by everyone hes ever

met. I personally realized he was already " dead " months before he took his own

life. I cried everyday because my best friend was gone even though his body

still existed. I moved to Philadelphia to be with my best friend, and now hes

gone. I will check back in the next few days to read replies, For anyone with

the same syndrome kev had, i feel sorry as hel for you. I know he is finally

cured, Completely gone. Here is his suicide note for those interested:

> > >

> > >

________________________________________________________________________________\

________

> > >

> > > This is the reality of what I have gone through in the past nine months

or so. Whether you choose to believe the truth about my motivation for doing

this is, obviously, up to you. Why would I lie about the reasons for doing this?

Maybe you think I am looking for someone to blame. Well I know who is to

blame...the FDA, the psychiatric industry as well as the greatest marauder of

them all, the pharmaceutical industry.

> > >

> > > Back in November 2009, I was myself. Completely untouched by the hellish

nightmare of psychiatric medication side effects. I was a person with feelings

and emotions. I still have some of these emotions, but you couldn't imagine what

has been taken from me. Lexapro invaded my brain with punishing effects which I

believe will NEVER be reversed. How do you reverse brain damage? You just can't.

Not this kind at least.

> > >

> > > Back then, I was dealing with great stress and personal problems which,

with a little reality check, could have been dealt with properly. But I looked

for the quick fix and it destroyed me. There were a number of people in my life

who barraged me with the idea that " I needed to be heavily medicated " . I am not

blaming them, they couldn't have known that this would happen. Mostly, I think

they cared about me, but I can't be sure. I gave into the propaganda, and

contacted Dr. Wrabel at the end of November 2009. She scheduled me for an

appointment at the end of December, 2009.

> > >

> > > I thought I was going to see a medical professional for honest help with

an actual disease state. Now I know there is no disease of the mind that cannot

be fixed with time, exercise, positive attitude, and healthy life style changes.

Those who make their livings by selling others the idea that they are somehow

mentally handicapped should kill themselves, or maybe you should do it for them.

Unfortunately, I figured out that the idea of Mental Healthcare is just a front

for a parasitic industry of death merchants and drug pushers. They should be

ashamed for what they have prescribed. They are, by all accounts, murderers.

> > >

> > > At first, this woman prescribed lamictal and abilify. One of these drugs

gave me what is described as tardive dyskinesia. For about a week straight, I

couldn't sit still. My body felt like it was in a constant seizure like state.

It was absolutely unbearable. I had to take a few days away from work so that I

could stop taking the meds and wait for the side effects to completely go away.

I was very relieved when the twitching and pain went away. So, against my

intuition, I went back to Dr. Wrabel at the beginning of January 2010 in order

to get a less violently effective prescription. I had mentioned Lexapro to her.

I had taken Lexapro on a previous occasion, illegally, and found that it worked

on the very first occasion of taking it. It worked. This is why I asked for it

by name on our second appointment because I knew that it had worked immediately.

They say that it takes months for these drugs to take effect, that is complete

bullshit. They start causing brain damage right away.

> > >

> > > So, I had my Lexapro prescription, and I was happy. Dr. Wrabel looked me

right in the eye when I asked, " Are there any side effects that I should know

about? " , and she said to not worry about it. Yeah, I guess I shouldn't worry

that after only a few weeks from first taking this medication I would be

chronically sleepy and my sexual functioning would become almost completely

nonexistent. I consumed about 200 mg of Lexapro over a 14 day period...Sometimes

I would take two 10 mg of Deathapro, I mean Lexapro, in a single day. Because I

was operating on the principle of a drug addict...that is what you are when you

are taking any drugs, no matter what they are. I wish I would have been

prescribed something harmless, like marijuana, but it is a little too late. And

I drank on Lexapro too...so the brain damaging effects were heavily multiplied.

Now, I knew people who would drink on antidepressants, so I thought it wasn't a

big deal. The fact that I didn't adhere to the prescribed regimen should not

take away from an understanding that these drugs cause these symptoms in a large

percentage of consumers. People are just too trusting and naive to report it or

be that concerned.

> > >

> > > The bottom line about my experience with Lexapro: After approximately

200mg consumed over 14 days, I became almost completely impotent. I had no

libido, not just sexually, but for anything. I slept all the time, hoping I

would wake from the nightmare. I never did. They should change the name of these

drugs to SUPERDEPRESSANTS, cause that is what they do...they kill parts of your

brain, maybe if your lucky they only kill a little. For me, however, I lost a

lot more than just my will and ability to have sex, so much that you could not

understand the effects without going through the same process. LEXAPRO HAS MADE

ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF EVER SINCE I REALIZED THAT, AFTER DISCONTINUING IT, I

WOULD NOT RETURN TO NORMAL.

> > >

> > > Supporters of these medications always have a profit in mind. Especially

when they give you their familiar rebuttal to patients and truth seekers who

speak of the devastating side effects. They say that side effects are just

depression. This is far beyond any depression that any of you could ever

understand. My depression comes from having lost my ability to get an erection

and my loss of feelings of pleasure in almost every sense. It is the perfect

cover up. And most people, if any, who read this will at some point be

completely convinced that my side effects were/are self generated problems due

to a baselines depression. I tell you, even depressed people can get a hard on.

But you go ahead and keep choking on the lies that the death machine spits at

you. I hope you come to your senses...and stop believing the deeply penetrating

institutions of lies and deceit. I beg you to investigate truth, and for your

own sake, realize how it is being hidden from you. For your kids' sake, keep

them far away from the hell and misery that myself and many other people have

gone through due to the SSRI's and virtually every other psychiatric

medications. Be afraid for them, if not for yourself too.

> > >

> > > Why are we not being informed of these horrible, permanently disabling

side effects? Because of lies and greed. Money rules this world. And God, if he

exists, cannot help us now. It is unfortunate. But that is life. If you don't

learn how to not care about anybody but yourself, you will eventually lose at

life. That is what happened to me. If you want to care about other people, go

ahead at your own risk. You will be violated for your humanity. I liked being a

perfusionist. And I could have been good at it. What I found about healthcare

though, is probably similar to other discompassionate institutions, is that the

more you pretend to care, the less work you actually have to do. You people are

just as mean as everyone else. At least I know that not everyone is like that,

but most are. Just mean. Hurtful. Cruel. and of course, blind to anyone but

themselves. I cannot accuse though, I am very guilty of selfish

behavior...especially on this account.

> > >

> > > I love life (friends, family, doing stuff) very much...and this has been

very hard on everyone. I cannot express how sorry I am about this decision, I am

too scared to live a life in impotence and disability. And you can't help me

with that. I will not forfeit the life that should have been for the one where I

live in my parents' basement in shame and weakness.

> > >

> > > It is very important to have someone that you can love and who loves you

back, on real human terms. I had that once, so my life was not meaningless. But

I cannot feel that feeling anymore, whatsoever happened to my brain is not my

fault. It is the Lexapro. I will not concede this FACT to the simplicity of

ignorance and the " your just depressed " argument. My dick doesn't work anymore.

I have no libido. I can barely remember why I liked things like music and

perfusion. Do not let them convince you that this is just depression. That is

the easy way out of trying to understand a real problem. These drugs are the

problem. End of the story.

> > >

> > > Please forgive me for my actions. I am writing this in the hopes that

you will understand and forgive me. Because if there is an afterlife, I won't be

able to move through it without your forgiveness. If you wish to get a better

understanding of what has happened to me...do your own research. A good place to

start is SSRIsex@ It is a group of people who suffer from PSSD due to SSRI's and

other antidepressants. PSSD, post ssri sexual dysfunction, is a real term;

however, it is an oversimplification of the all encompassing side effects

produced by SSRIs.

> > >

> > > And that is it. Good luck with your lives everyone. Sorry I screwed up

and caused pain. Please tell my nephews about the real reason for my suicide.

Let them read this letter. I won't care really, I will be gone. Although, I

would like for them to know my reasons for suicide. Not your reasons. They

deserve that (when they are old enough to partly understand, of course). People

need to stop believing that the medical institution is here to help. They don't

care about you. Just like our government. You are always an expendable resource.

They want to keep you alive for the money and work that they put in their

pockets. It is not all bad, though. I guess as long as somebody gets paid,

right?

> > >

> > > If your upset about the willfulness to end my own life...that is your

fault. I have chosen to die...that is my choice. Not yours and certainly not the

governmental organizations who repeatedly ruin peoples lives and then create

laws preventing those people from making their own decisions about other courses

of action. You people fucked me up. You did this to me. I could have been

smoking marijuana and dropping acid everyday of my life and been just fine. BUT

noooooooooo, those are the bad drugs and these are the good drugs. We certainly

don't want to reduce the industries profits by making helpful drugs legal. But

that is not up to you. It never will be.

> > >

> > > With Moderate Respect and Deep Regret,

> > > your friend, brother, and son,

> > > .

> > >

> > > Don't think I didn't care. You have always been in my heart. Goodbye.

> > >

> >

>