Re: RIP Goodreau

November 24, 2010

RIP brother my heart goes out to your family and friends, I've always been an

outcast on this board and I can only remember a few friends who really got me.

Kgoodreau was one of them. I'm sorry for the loss. I fear I'm headed down the

same path, we might meet again soon. Rest easy buddy.

>

> Hi everyone,

> I am Goodreau (kdgoodreau)'s best friend. He requested i let you all

know that he committed suicide on Oct 21. I have always believed his disease,

and that all of you probably suffer from the same thing. I dont know what your

opinions of him are, but you guys never " met " the real kev that ive known since

1st grade. He was the most talented, smartest, sincerest person ive ever known.

And im not just saying that because thats what you normally tell yourself and

people when someone dies. He was good at everything he ever put his mind to. He

was an awesome musician. Funny as hell. Not a bad word you can say about him.

He really had no enemies, and was well liked by everyone hes ever met. I

personally realized he was already " dead " months before he took his own life. I

cried everyday because my best friend was gone even though his body still

existed. I moved to Philadelphia to be with my best friend, and now hes gone. I

will check back in the next few days to read replies, For anyone with the same

syndrome kev had, i feel sorry as hel for you. I know he is finally cured,

Completely gone. Here is his suicide note for those interested:

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

________

>

> This is the reality of what I have gone through in the past nine months or

so. Whether you choose to believe the truth about my motivation for doing this

is, obviously, up to you. Why would I lie about the reasons for doing this?

Maybe you think I am looking for someone to blame. Well I know who is to

blame...the FDA, the psychiatric industry as well as the greatest marauder of

them all, the pharmaceutical industry.

>

> Back in November 2009, I was myself. Completely untouched by the hellish

nightmare of psychiatric medication side effects. I was a person with feelings

and emotions. I still have some of these emotions, but you couldn't imagine what

has been taken from me. Lexapro invaded my brain with punishing effects which I

believe will NEVER be reversed. How do you reverse brain damage? You just can't.

Not this kind at least.

>

> Back then, I was dealing with great stress and personal problems which, with

a little reality check, could have been dealt with properly. But I looked for

the quick fix and it destroyed me. There were a number of people in my life who

barraged me with the idea that " I needed to be heavily medicated " . I am not

blaming them, they couldn't have known that this would happen. Mostly, I think

they cared about me, but I can't be sure. I gave into the propaganda, and

contacted Dr. Wrabel at the end of November 2009. She scheduled me for an

appointment at the end of December, 2009.

>

> I thought I was going to see a medical professional for honest help with an

actual disease state. Now I know there is no disease of the mind that cannot be

fixed with time, exercise, positive attitude, and healthy life style changes.

Those who make their livings by selling others the idea that they are somehow

mentally handicapped should kill themselves, or maybe you should do it for them.

Unfortunately, I figured out that the idea of Mental Healthcare is just a front

for a parasitic industry of death merchants and drug pushers. They should be

ashamed for what they have prescribed. They are, by all accounts, murderers.

>

> At first, this woman prescribed lamictal and abilify. One of these drugs gave

me what is described as tardive dyskinesia. For about a week straight, I

couldn't sit still. My body felt like it was in a constant seizure like state.

It was absolutely unbearable. I had to take a few days away from work so that I

could stop taking the meds and wait for the side effects to completely go away.

I was very relieved when the twitching and pain went away. So, against my

intuition, I went back to Dr. Wrabel at the beginning of January 2010 in order

to get a less violently effective prescription. I had mentioned Lexapro to her.

I had taken Lexapro on a previous occasion, illegally, and found that it worked

on the very first occasion of taking it. It worked. This is why I asked for it

by name on our second appointment because I knew that it had worked immediately.

They say that it takes months for these drugs to take effect, that is complete

bullshit. They start causing brain damage right away.

>

> So, I had my Lexapro prescription, and I was happy. Dr. Wrabel looked me

right in the eye when I asked, " Are there any side effects that I should know

about? " , and she said to not worry about it. Yeah, I guess I shouldn't worry

that after only a few weeks from first taking this medication I would be

chronically sleepy and my sexual functioning would become almost completely

nonexistent. I consumed about 200 mg of Lexapro over a 14 day period...Sometimes

I would take two 10 mg of Deathapro, I mean Lexapro, in a single day. Because I

was operating on the principle of a drug addict...that is what you are when you

are taking any drugs, no matter what they are. I wish I would have been

prescribed something harmless, like marijuana, but it is a little too late. And

I drank on Lexapro too...so the brain damaging effects were heavily multiplied.

Now, I knew people who would drink on antidepressants, so I thought it wasn't a

big deal. The fact that I didn't adhere to the prescribed regimen should not

take away from an understanding that these drugs cause these symptoms in a large

percentage of consumers. People are just too trusting and naive to report it or

be that concerned.

>

> The bottom line about my experience with Lexapro: After approximately 200mg

consumed over 14 days, I became almost completely impotent. I had no libido, not

just sexually, but for anything. I slept all the time, hoping I would wake from

the nightmare. I never did. They should change the name of these drugs to

SUPERDEPRESSANTS, cause that is what they do...they kill parts of your brain,

maybe if your lucky they only kill a little. For me, however, I lost a lot more

than just my will and ability to have sex, so much that you could not understand

the effects without going through the same process. LEXAPRO HAS MADE ME WANT TO

KILL MYSELF EVER SINCE I REALIZED THAT, AFTER DISCONTINUING IT, I WOULD NOT

RETURN TO NORMAL.

>

> Supporters of these medications always have a profit in mind. Especially when

they give you their familiar rebuttal to patients and truth seekers who speak of

the devastating side effects. They say that side effects are just depression.

This is far beyond any depression that any of you could ever understand. My

depression comes from having lost my ability to get an erection and my loss of

feelings of pleasure in almost every sense. It is the perfect cover up. And most

people, if any, who read this will at some point be completely convinced that my

side effects were/are self generated problems due to a baselines depression. I

tell you, even depressed people can get a hard on. But you go ahead and keep

choking on the lies that the death machine spits at you. I hope you come to your

senses...and stop believing the deeply penetrating institutions of lies and

deceit. I beg you to investigate truth, and for your own sake, realize how it is

being hidden from you. For your kids' sake, keep them far away from the hell and

misery that myself and many other people have gone through due to the SSRI's and

virtually every other psychiatric medications. Be afraid for them, if not for

yourself too.

>

> Why are we not being informed of these horrible, permanently disabling side

effects? Because of lies and greed. Money rules this world. And God, if he

exists, cannot help us now. It is unfortunate. But that is life. If you don't

learn how to not care about anybody but yourself, you will eventually lose at

life. That is what happened to me. If you want to care about other people, go

ahead at your own risk. You will be violated for your humanity. I liked being a

perfusionist. And I could have been good at it. What I found about healthcare

though, is probably similar to other discompassionate institutions, is that the

more you pretend to care, the less work you actually have to do. You people are

just as mean as everyone else. At least I know that not everyone is like that,

but most are. Just mean. Hurtful. Cruel. and of course, blind to anyone but

themselves. I cannot accuse though, I am very guilty of selfish

behavior...especially on this account.

>

> I love life (friends, family, doing stuff) very much...and this has been very

hard on everyone. I cannot express how sorry I am about this decision, I am too

scared to live a life in impotence and disability. And you can't help me with

that. I will not forfeit the life that should have been for the one where I live

in my parents' basement in shame and weakness.

>

> It is very important to have someone that you can love and who loves you

back, on real human terms. I had that once, so my life was not meaningless. But

I cannot feel that feeling anymore, whatsoever happened to my brain is not my

fault. It is the Lexapro. I will not concede this FACT to the simplicity of

ignorance and the " your just depressed " argument. My dick doesn't work anymore.

I have no libido. I can barely remember why I liked things like music and

perfusion. Do not let them convince you that this is just depression. That is

the easy way out of trying to understand a real problem. These drugs are the

problem. End of the story.

>

> Please forgive me for my actions. I am writing this in the hopes that you

will understand and forgive me. Because if there is an afterlife, I won't be

able to move through it without your forgiveness. If you wish to get a better

understanding of what has happened to me...do your own research. A good place to

start is SSRIsex@... It is a group of people who suffer from PSSD due to SSRI's

and other antidepressants. PSSD, post ssri sexual dysfunction, is a real term;

however, it is an oversimplification of the all encompassing side effects

produced by SSRIs.

>

> And that is it. Good luck with your lives everyone. Sorry I screwed up and

caused pain. Please tell my nephews about the real reason for my suicide. Let

them read this letter. I won't care really, I will be gone. Although, I would

like for them to know my reasons for suicide. Not your reasons. They deserve

that (when they are old enough to partly understand, of course). People need to

stop believing that the medical institution is here to help. They don't care

about you. Just like our government. You are always an expendable resource. They

want to keep you alive for the money and work that they put in their pockets. It

is not all bad, though. I guess as long as somebody gets paid, right?

>

> If your upset about the willfulness to end my own life...that is your fault.

I have chosen to die...that is my choice. Not yours and certainly not the

governmental organizations who repeatedly ruin peoples lives and then create

laws preventing those people from making their own decisions about other courses

of action. You people fucked me up. You did this to me. I could have been

smoking marijuana and dropping acid everyday of my life and been just fine. BUT

noooooooooo, those are the bad drugs and these are the good drugs. We certainly

don't want to reduce the industries profits by making helpful drugs legal. But

that is not up to you. It never will be.

>

> With Moderate Respect and Deep Regret,

> your friend, brother, and son,

> .

>

> Don't think I didn't care. You have always been in my heart. Goodbye.

>

November 24, 2010

RIP . It makes me sad and extremly angry at once.