Too complicated

November 23, 2010

Hey guys, been a while since I posted. I feel like this is a good outlet.

PSSD has complicated my life for many reasons that I cannot make sense of. As

with many of you I spend a large part of my day ruminating over our predicament.

The most clear cut feelings I have are regret, anger, and hopelessness. Besides

those basic feelings my emotions are jumbled, I don't feel very strongly about

much else, all my emotions are undefined.

I constantly think about fate and god. Contrary to what you all may think

I'm actually not a terrible person. I'm actually a pretty nice guy, sometimes

too nice, many people take advantage of the fact. I know many terrible people

however, they still get what they want, they have sex with beautiful women, they

still party, they still care what job they have, they still have a life. This is

where I'm confused. Why has this happened to me? Such a cliché I know.

I have a girlfriend now as well. She's pretty cool. That's all I can really

say. I don't really know if PSSD sufferers can feel love anymore in the same

way, in fact she even told me that she didn't think I could. I feel like I have

no personality any more. I feel like everything has been sucked right out of me.

My girlfriend tells me stories of her ex and it kills me inside, I never thought

I'd know the feeling, I always thought it was a meaningless phrase but I

literally feel a bit dead inside.

She's pretty insensitive to be telling me stories like that but I don't care

anymore, I know what I'm missing out on, there's no denying it. People like her

ex treat people like shit but in the end they get what they wanted while goody

goody people like me have our souls smashed. I can't believe the amount of

emotional pain I'm in, the fact that I haven't cried about it yet kind of

bothers me, I feel like the part of my brain that interprets sadness might have

overloaded and shattered. Actually chances are SSRIs murdered that part of my

brain too.

I'm disgusted at myself. I feel like nothing. I don't feel like a real

person. I don't think I have a soul or personality. I feel like the most general

human being alive, there's nothing special about me, maybe there never was. I'm

just repackaged, just another stupid human waiting to die. My world revolves

around this disease.

I truly believe that doctors want to sterilize us, I truly believe that PSSD

is the favorable outcome for treating people like us, they don't want us

breeding. Doctors know full well the likelihood of developing serious side

effects when taking these drugs, did you have any clue though? Doctors are

brainless assholes that push prescriptions for whatever new poison the FDA

approves for thinning out our species. The greatest evils in this world are done

under the veil of good intention. Our voices of reason mean nothing as the

ruthless voices keep having their way. Its very much like trying to convince a

girl that her asshole of a boyfriend is only using her, nobody listens till the

bitch has her heart shattered and comes running back to you. By then do we still

care?

November 23, 2010

I can believe that you are a nice guy, Bob, you are just very angry and so come over as a bit aggressive - but I'm the same. On my other site (ACT) I used to say it straight calling psychiatry a bunch of gangsters, organised crime, and the chemists who the designed the designed the drugs as crooks. I just didn't mince my words but they did not see it like that and so I was detested. In fact they really hated me. I have now left the site.

I put out a lot of Whitaker's stuff out there as well which might have worried them to hell -there was lot of angry replies. I feel guilty about that but it is not my fault that the the drugs are so dangerous. I thought to myself, should I remain quiet and then everyone can be blissfully unaware, or should I warn them and not only save some of them from more pain, but also anyone else who might be tempted to try the drugs. In the end I decided that you have to warn the wider public even if those that take meds at the moment might get very upset about it. I do hope they cope with it alright, though, but I don't think they ever believed me anyway. They believe their doctors, not me and my rant. I was also accused of being a Scientologist.

By the way everyone, why I am here, some lady called Justana is trying to get are message out. Below is her site where she talks about PSSD. She seems to have been following our group for a while so some members here may already know of her.

http://justana-justana.blogspot.com/2009/06/ssri-group-testimony-about-pssd-post.html

Kaivey

>> Hey guys, been a while since I posted. I feel like this is a good outlet. PSSD has complicated my life for many reasons that I cannot make sense of. As with many of you I spend a large part of my day ruminating over our predicament. The most clear cut feelings I have are regret, anger, and hopelessness. Besides those basic feelings my emotions are jumbled, I don't feel very strongly about much else, all my emotions are undefined. > > I constantly think about fate and god. Contrary to what you all may think I'm actually not a terrible person. I'm actually a pretty nice guy, sometimes too nice, many people take advantage of the fact. I know many terrible people however, they still get what they want, they have sex with beautiful women, they still party, they still care what job they have, they still have a life. This is where I'm confused. Why has this happened to me? Such a cliché I know.> > I have a girlfriend now as well. She's pretty cool. That's all I can really say. I don't really know if PSSD sufferers can feel love anymore in the same way, in fact she even told me that she didn't think I could. I feel like I have no personality any more. I feel like everything has been sucked right out of me. My girlfriend tells me stories of her ex and it kills me inside, I never thought I'd know the feeling, I always thought it was a meaningless phrase but I literally feel a bit dead inside. > > She's pretty insensitive to be telling me stories like that but I don't care anymore, I know what I'm missing out on, there's no denying it. People like her ex treat people like shit but in the end they get what they wanted while goody goody people like me have our souls smashed. I can't believe the amount of emotional pain I'm in, the fact that I haven't cried about it yet kind of bothers me, I feel like the part of my brain that interprets sadness might have overloaded and shattered. Actually chances are SSRIs murdered that part of my brain too.> > I'm disgusted at myself. I feel like nothing. I don't feel like a real person. I don't think I have a soul or personality. I feel like the most general human being alive, there's nothing special about me, maybe there never was. I'm just repackaged, just another stupid human waiting to die. My world revolves around this disease. > > I truly believe that doctors want to sterilize us, I truly believe that PSSD is the favorable outcome for treating people like us, they don't want us breeding. Doctors know full well the likelihood of developing serious side effects when taking these drugs, did you have any clue though? Doctors are brainless assholes that push prescriptions for whatever new poison the FDA approves for thinning out our species. The greatest evils in this world are done under the veil of good intention. Our voices of reason mean nothing as the ruthless voices keep having their way. Its very much like trying to convince a girl that her asshole of a boyfriend is only using her, nobody listens till the bitch has her heart shattered and comes running back to you. By then do we still care?>

November 23, 2010

Hi Bob

You're right. There is nothing special about you.

I can identify with that

I think about God a lot as well, however I don't believe in him. I know my life

means nothing, and neither does yours. The only purpose is in the way we affect

other people, and right here in this department we have been damaged. But we can

overcome that. Not being subject to intense passions we can do the right thing.

I like listening to Queen, knowing that Freddy Mercury had HIV gives his songs

new meaning to which I can relate. He was dying and still singing that his life

had been saved. We may not be gravely ill, but most of us are in a desperate

situation nevertheless. Love songs bore me. Though Herman and the Hermits' 'no

milk today' suddenly has taken a whole new meaning:

No milk today, my love has gone away

The bottle stands for lorn, a symbol of the dawn

No milk today, it seems a common sight

But people passing by don't know the reason why

How could they know just what this message means

The end of my hopes, the end of all my dreams

How could they know the palace there had been

Behind the door where my love reigned as queen

No milk today, it wasn't always so

The company was gay, we'd turn night into day

But all that's left is a place dark and lonely

A terraced house in a mean street back of town

Becomes a shrine when I think of you only

Just two up two down

I care a whole lot less, but I still care and so do you I think. Otherwise you

would not have a girlfriend (lucky you) or feel disgusted. Or anger towards

doctors.

There will be a solution. We just need to make more noise.

>

> Hey guys, been a while since I posted. I feel like this is a good outlet.

PSSD has complicated my life for many reasons that I cannot make sense of. As

with many of you I spend a large part of my day ruminating over our predicament.

The most clear cut feelings I have are regret, anger, and hopelessness. Besides

those basic feelings my emotions are jumbled, I don't feel very strongly about

much else, all my emotions are undefined.

>

> I constantly think about fate and god. Contrary to what you all may think

I'm actually not a terrible person. I'm actually a pretty nice guy, sometimes

too nice, many people take advantage of the fact. I know many terrible people

however, they still get what they want, they have sex with beautiful women, they

still party, they still care what job they have, they still have a life. This is

where I'm confused. Why has this happened to me? Such a cliché I know.

>

> I have a girlfriend now as well. She's pretty cool. That's all I can

really say. I don't really know if PSSD sufferers can feel love anymore in the

same way, in fact she even told me that she didn't think I could. I feel like I

have no personality any more. I feel like everything has been sucked right out

of me. My girlfriend tells me stories of her ex and it kills me inside, I never

thought I'd know the feeling, I always thought it was a meaningless phrase but I

literally feel a bit dead inside.

>

> She's pretty insensitive to be telling me stories like that but I don't

care anymore, I know what I'm missing out on, there's no denying it. People like

her ex treat people like shit but in the end they get what they wanted while

goody goody people like me have our souls smashed. I can't believe the amount of